{"id":86370,"date":"2022-12-14T08:08:00","date_gmt":"2022-12-14T12:08:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=86370"},"modified":"2022-12-14T15:48:28","modified_gmt":"2022-12-14T19:48:28","slug":"happiness-and-love","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/happiness-and-love\/","title":{"rendered":"Happiness and Love: How Joy Depends on Loving Unconditionally"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

What’s the connection between happiness and love? How is unconditional love different from other emotions? How is it practiced?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To find enduring happiness, you must practice unconditional love. That’s the view of Mo Gawdat as presented in his book Solve for Happy<\/em>. He explains what unconditional love is and offers advice on how to practice<\/a> it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Continue reading to learn how joy depends on loving unconditionally and how to cultivate this trait in your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

Happiness and Love<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Gawdat asserts that happiness and love go hand in hand.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First, Gawdat argues that unconditional love is fundamentally different from emotions like admiration and respect, which occur for reasons<\/em>; we admire and respect others because <\/em>of the virtues they exemplify. Unconditional love, by contrast, just happens\u2014we don\u2019t love unconditionally because of any traits possessed by our beloved. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Shortform note: Gawdat\u2019s claim that unconditional love is fundamentally different from other emotions is supported by recent neuroscientific findings. In particular, one study found that distinct brain areas were active in participants who felt unconditional love<\/a>, while those same areas remained inactive when participants felt other emotions.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Consequently, while emotions grounded in reason disappear when their underlying reason disappears, unconditional love persists indefinitely. Thus, Gawdat declares unconditional love to be the only emotion capable of generating recurring happiness. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Moreover, he argues that, because unconditional love occurs inexplicably, we don\u2019t expect anything of our beloved\u2014rather, we\u2019re simply happy to be in their presence. This lack of expectations precludes the possibility of disappointment and thus paves the path toward lasting happiness<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Shortform note: Contrary to Gawdat\u2019s claim, some experts argue that expectations are necessary in romantic relationships<\/a>. For instance, they suggest that you should expect respect, compassion, and generosity from your partner. Otherwise, you might end up in a relationship where your own acts of love aren\u2019t reciprocated, creating a dangerous power imbalance<\/a>.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

How to Love Unconditionally<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Gawdat offers the following strategies for cultivating unconditional love:<\/p>\n\n\n\n