{"id":86227,"date":"2022-12-08T17:03:00","date_gmt":"2022-12-08T21:03:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=86227"},"modified":"2022-12-14T11:28:46","modified_gmt":"2022-12-14T15:28:46","slug":"stoicism-control-what-you-can","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/stoicism-control-what-you-can\/","title":{"rendered":"Stoicism: Control What You Can, &#038; Don&#8217;t Sweat Everything Else"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Do you worry more than you need to? Do you set yourself up for disappointment?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In his book <em>A Guide to the Good Life<\/em>, philosophy professor William B. Irvine discusses a major tenet of Stoicism: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/epictetus-control\/\">Control what you can<\/a>, and don&#8217;t worry about anything else. By doing this, you also <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-control-happiness\/\">control your happiness<\/a>. Don&#8217;t give up that joy by stressing about what&#8217;s beyond your control.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Learn how this Stoic practice works, and discover how you can put it to work for you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-focus-on-what-you-can-control\">Focus on What You Can Control<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Irvine points out that one of the reasons to get rid of desire is that, often, we lack the power to actually <em>get<\/em> the things we want. That&#8217;s the backdrop of an important teaching of Stoicism: <em>Control what you can, and don&#8217;t let what you can&#8217;t control sap any of your energy<\/em>. If you base your happiness on factors or outcomes that you <em>don\u2019t<\/em> fully control, you effectively give up control of your happiness. For example, if you think you\u2019ll be happy only if you get a promotion at work\u2014an outcome you can\u2019t actually control\u2014you\u2019re setting yourself up for disappointment and unhappiness if you don\u2019t get it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>(Shortform note: Similarly, in <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/app\/book\/the-happiness-hypothesis\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><em>The Happiness Hypothesis<\/em><\/a>, Jonathan Haidt argues that you can\u2019t directly create happiness\u2014instead, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/app\/book\/the-happiness-hypothesis\/chapter-9#the-key-to-happiness\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">you can only create the conditions for it<\/a>, wait patiently, and allow (not force) it to arise when the time is right. Likewise, in advising you to focus only on <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/control-what-you-can-control\/\">what you can control<\/a>, the Stoics suggest that you can create the conditions for success, but not success itself.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This recommendation might seem strange at first\u2014if you should focus only on the things you can control, wouldn\u2019t that mean disconnecting from life and giving up your attempts to accomplish anything since you\u2019re never fully in control of your results? Not at all. In fact, far from withdrawing into themselves, the ancient Stoics were quite active in public life in teaching, advisory, and political leadership roles. Irvine explains that the key is to recognize that <strong>you have <em>degrees <\/em>of control over different aspects of your life<\/strong>:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li><strong>There are things you have <\/strong><strong><em>total <\/em><\/strong><strong>control over<\/strong>, such as your <em>goal<\/em> to get promoted and the effort you put into your job.<\/li><li><strong>There are things you have <\/strong><strong><em>no<\/em><\/strong><strong> control over<\/strong>, such as whether another company merges with yours and lays you off as a result.<\/li><li><strong>There are things you have <\/strong><strong><em>partial<\/em><\/strong><strong> control over<\/strong>, such as whether you <em>get<\/em> the promotion you\u2019re hoping for (which in turn depends on other partial-control factors such as your boss\u2019s opinion of you).<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>(Shortform note: One of Stoicism\u2019s key assumptions is that you have <a href=\"https:\/\/daily-philosophy.com\/stoic-control-emotions\/#:~:text=At%20the%20core%20of%20the,to%20control%20what%20they%20cannot.\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">control over your thoughts<\/a>. In fact, many of the practices we\u2019re discussing are based on the premise that you can change how you think and thereby change how you feel. However, some experts argue that <a href=\"https:\/\/medium.com\/meditation-without-mysticism\/stop-trying-to-control-your-thoughts-10da33629cd7\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">you can\u2019t control your thoughts<\/a> and that trying to do so can actually strengthen the thoughts you\u2019re trying to get rid of. Instead, if you learn to <a href=\"https:\/\/psychcentral.com\/blog\/observe-accept-your-thoughts-but-you-dont-have-to-follow-them#1\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">mindfully observe your thoughts without engaging with them<\/a>, you\u2019ll realize that <a href=\"https:\/\/mindfulambition.net\/stream-of-consciousness\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">you\u2019re free to choose how to respond to them<\/a>. This observation doesn\u2019t necessarily negate the practices we\u2019re exploring, but it does suggest that you may not have much luck using brute force to regiment your thinking.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Irvine says the important lesson is that it\u2019s fine to care about and work toward things you have partial control over, but he suggests that as you do so, you should be careful to <strong>set goals based only on things that are fully under your control<\/strong>. For example, don\u2019t set a goal of getting the promotion\u2014set a goal, say, to work at the highest efficiency and quality you\u2019re capable of. The latter goal is in your control whereas the former goal isn\u2019t. The latter might <em>lead to<\/em> the former, but you shouldn\u2019t focus on the former because a) you\u2019ll be disappointed if you don\u2019t get it and b) focusing on it could cause anxiety that affects your efforts to do your best work.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-table\"><table><tbody><tr><td><strong>Emphasize Processes Over Results<\/strong><br><br>In <a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/atomic-habits\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><em>Atomic Habits<\/em><\/a>, James Clear gives several more reasons to worry only about what you can control\u2014in this case, by <a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/atomic-habits\/chapter-1#systems-vs-goals\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">focusing on improving your behavioral systems rather than achieving specific goals<\/a>. For example, rather than focusing on getting a promotion, you might concentrate on improving your workflow and honing the skills you use at your job. Emphasizing the process over the outcome in this way has three benefits:<br><br>\u2022 Big goals often take a long time (and, the Stoics would add, factors outside your control) to achieve, whereas improving your systems provides you with <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/immediate-gratification\/\">immediate gratification<\/a> and feedback.<br><br>\u2022 Goals are temporary\u2014if you do achieve yours, you might feel like there\u2019s nothing left to do. Plus, as we\u2019ve discussed, your initial happiness at your success will soon fade. Focusing on systems gives you ongoing challenges and reinforcement.<br><br>\u2022 Goals can limit your possible paths forward. Instead of following your strengths and successes wherever they take you (perhaps into a new career), you might remain fixated on the original goal (the promotion) and miss other opportunities.<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>Similarly, Irvine recommends keeping in mind that <strong>the past and the present are beyond your control<\/strong>: You can\u2019t do anything to change what\u2019s already happened, and because the present itself is determined by the past, you can\u2019t change <em>it<\/em> either. He recommends that you accept the past and present as they are, and instead worry about the future, which you <em>can<\/em> still influence.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>(Shortform note: Accepting the way things are doesn\u2019t mean becoming a passive observer\u2014it\u2019s actually a strategy for acting more effectively. In <a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/the-art-of-happiness\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><em>The Art of Happiness<\/em><\/a>, the 14th Dalai Lama argues that <a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/the-art-of-happiness\/part-4-1#when-you-accept-suffering-you-dont-add-to-your-suffering\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">accepting suffering keeps you from causing yourself <em>more<\/em> suffering<\/a> by wishing for things to be different. Moreover, he says, when you accept what is, you can <a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/the-art-of-happiness\/part-4-3#strategy-2-derive-meaning-from-suffering\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">find meaning even in suffering<\/a>, and you\u2019re free to <a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/the-art-of-happiness\/part-4-3#strategy-1-change-your-perspective-on-suffering\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">adopt new perspectives and behaviors<\/a> that can make things better.)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Do you worry more than you need to? Do you set yourself up for disappointment? In his book A Guide to the Good Life, philosophy professor William B. Irvine discusses a major tenet of Stoicism: Control what you can, and don&#8217;t worry about anything else. By doing this, you also control your happiness. Don&#8217;t give up that joy by stressing about what&#8217;s beyond your control. Learn how this Stoic practice works, and discover how you can put it to work for you.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9,"featured_media":86232,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[7,21,43],"tags":[827],"class_list":["post-86227","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-lifestyle","category-philosophy","category-self-improvement","tag-a-guide-to-the-good-life","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.3 (Yoast SEO v24.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Stoicism: Control What You Can, &amp; Don&#039;t Sweat Everything Else - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Philosophy professor William Irvine explains a major tenet of Stoicism: Control what you can, and don&#039;t worry about other stuff. 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