{"id":86008,"date":"2022-12-17T07:45:00","date_gmt":"2022-12-17T11:45:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=86008"},"modified":"2022-12-21T12:52:12","modified_gmt":"2022-12-21T16:52:12","slug":"spending-time-with-your-loved-ones","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/spending-time-with-your-loved-ones\/","title":{"rendered":"The Importance of Spending Time With Your Loved Ones"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Do you struggle to find the time for your family? Why is it important to spend quality time with your loved ones? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

According to time management expert Laura Vanderkam, you should prioritize spending time with your loved ones by intentionally scheduling it in advance. Unless you schedule dedicated time to your relationships, you’ll likely prioritize more urgent activities and thus only spend your leftover time with your loved ones. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here are some tips on how you can spend more time with your loved ones. <\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

Be More Intentional With Your Loved Ones<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Spending time with your loved ones is important not only because it will benefit your relationships with them, but also because your relationships with your children and partner are unique strengths. Only you can parent (not babysit) your own children in your unique way; for example, you might be able to foster your kids\u2019 love of the outdoors because you also love the outdoors, whereas your partner can\u2019t foster that passion in the same way because they prefer being inside. And only you can invest time in your partnership. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Maximize Time With Your Children<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

By being intentional with your kids, you\u2019ll spend meaningful time with them instead of watching too much TV<\/a> or getting bored with the routine. To be more intentional with your children, Vanderkam recommends that you maximize both the quantity and the quality of the time you spend with them.<\/strong> To maximize the quantity<\/em>, adjust your work schedule so that you work in chunks (like from 9 a.m. to 2 p.m. and 6 to 9 p.m.)  instead of throughout the entire workday (from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.). By chunking your workday, you\u2019ll work the same number of hours but gain free time to spend with your kids while they\u2019re still awake. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

To maximize the quality<\/em>, Vanderkam suggests that you first ask your kids to create their own bucket lists. Select activities that you\u2019ll also enjoy, and schedule time to do those activities together. For example, if you both enjoy basketball, go to a game together. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Improve the Time You Spend With Your Kids<\/strong>

When deciding what times to spend with your kids versus what times you work, consider not just when you\u2019re available but your and your kids\u2019 energy levels. The Power of When<\/em><\/a> author Michael Breus explains that we all have different biological clocks<\/a>, or chronotypes, so we\u2019re biologically programmed to be productive at certain times. So even if you\u2019re able<\/em> to work from 6 to 9 p.m., you might have low energy<\/a> and not get anything done. Moreover, your kids also<\/em> have biological clocks that may not match yours\u2014so they might be tired at 2 p.m. even though you\u2019re ready to play. To find a time that matches both of your energy levels, discover your chronotype with this quiz<\/a>.

Once you decide when<\/em> to spend time with your kids, how<\/em> should you spend time with them? Consider broadening your horizons and trying activities from your kids\u2019 bucket list even if you\u2019re uncertain whether you\u2019ll enjoy them. You can also try doing projects with them and fully engaging with them instead of trying to rush through the activities. In The Happiness Project<\/em><\/a>, Gretchen Rubin explains that doing projects with your kids has high potential for happiness<\/a> because you go through all four stages of happiness: You happily anticipate the project, savor the joy of doing the project, express your happiness when you complete it, and recall the joy of doing it.

For example, if you build dollhouse furniture with your child instead of buying it, your child anticipates the excitement of building it, you both savor the joy of building it, your child expresses her happiness each time she plays with the completed furniture, and you both can recall the happy memories of working on the project together and playing with the dollhouse. <\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Spend Time With Your Partner<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

By being intentional with your partner, you\u2019ll nurture your relationships and develop a happy partnership that can withstand life\u2019s inevitable challenges. To do this, Vanderkam recommends three strategies. First, schedule regular dates; if you can\u2019t afford childcare, plan a romantic evening at home. Second, each night before bed, spend 30 minutes talking. Third, connect with your partner briefly throughout the day by calling or texting. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Shortform note: In How to Not Die Alone<\/em><\/a>, Logan Ury also recommends that you intentionally schedule time with your partner to nurture your relationship and withstand challenges. But rather than regular romantic dates, Ury recommends scheduling a weekly meeting<\/a> to communicate things that might otherwise have been brushed aside. Also, Ury suggests you write and regularly revise a relationship agreement<\/a> that articulates your relationship values and how you\u2019ll express them.)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Do you struggle to find the time for your family? Why is it important to spend quality time with your loved ones? According to time management expert Laura Vanderkam, you should prioritize spending time with your loved ones by intentionally scheduling it in advance. Unless you schedule dedicated time to your relationships, you’ll likely prioritize more urgent activities and thus only spend your leftover time with your loved ones.  Here are some tips on how you can spend more time with your loved ones.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":77709,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[7,12],"tags":[826],"class_list":["post-86008","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-lifestyle","category-relationships","tag-168-hours","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"\nThe Importance of Spending Time With Your Loved Ones - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"According to Laura Vanderkam, you should prioritize spending time with your loved ones by intentionally scheduling it in advance. 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