{"id":83080,"date":"2022-11-08T08:55:00","date_gmt":"2022-11-08T12:55:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=83080"},"modified":"2022-11-08T16:57:00","modified_gmt":"2022-11-08T20:57:00","slug":"how-to-practice-self-love","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-practice-self-love\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Practice Self-Love and Why It\u2019s Important&nbsp;"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>What exactly is self-love, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/what-is-self-care-and-why-is-it-important\/\">and why is it important<\/a>? How do you show yourself love?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Self-love is a state of appreciation for yourself that results in physical, psychological, and spiritual well-being. When you love yourself, you feel worthy the way you are and put your <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/happiness-and-wellness\/\">happiness and well-being<\/a> first.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>With this in mind, here\u2019s <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-practice\/\">how to practice<\/a> self-love and be good to yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-barriers-to-self-love\"><strong>Barriers to Self-Love<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>People have three common <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/obstacles-to-learning\/\">barriers to learning<\/a> <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/practicing-self-love\/\">how to practice self-love<\/a>: their past, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/overcoming-self-doubt\/\">self-doubt<\/a>, and sacrificing for other people. However, the good news is that you can work to overcome these obstacles.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-the-past\"><strong>The Past<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>To be able to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/more-self-love\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">find self-love<\/a>, you must let go of old regrets or shame about things you previously did or experienced. Holding those feelings inside taints your thoughts. If you can find a way to move past those feelings, you can find a way to be happy with <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/your-genius\/\">who you are<\/a> now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Everyone has experienced difficult things in their past. There is a tendency to ruminate on those prior hard times in the present, focusing on hurt or failures. But when you focus only on those past disappointments, you\u2019re preventing yourself from living in the present.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-self-doubt\"><strong>Self-Doubt<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Similarly, until you learn how to practice self-love, you may question yourself. You may have doubts about who you are or what you\u2019re capable of, and the Universe\u2019s only option is to agree and comply with your thoughts.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>When you say, \u201cI\u2019m not smart,\u201d what picture are you creating? What message are you sending the Universe?&nbsp;<\/li><li>When you say, \u201cI am smart,\u201d you are summoning the creation of this idea with all your power because you have declared it fact.&nbsp;<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>So, how do you banish self-doubt?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>As soon as a thought of doubt enters your mind, release it.<\/li><li>Replace it with, \u201cI have the power to create my life, and I know I am receiving what I want now.\u201d Then <em>really feel it<\/em>.<\/li><li>Try reciting this affirmation: \u201cI am whole, perfect, strong, powerful, loving, harmonious, and happy.\u201d<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-emotional-sacrifice-for-others\"><strong>Emotional Sacrifice for Others<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>You have likely been told at one point or another to put others before yourself. The consequence of that action is a signal of being undeserving of what we give to others.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>When you <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/self-sacrificing-love\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">sacrifice emotionally for others<\/a>, you think you\u2019re being a good person. But you\u2019re really saying something like, \u201cthere\u2019s not enough to go around, so I\u2019ll have to give up part of myself.\u201d<\/li><li>The action is lovely, to be sure, but the more you put yourself last, the more situations the Universe will bring to you to continue doing so.<\/li><li>If you deplete your life of goodness and love, you have nothing to offer yourself\u2026 or anyone else.\u00a0<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class='book-template'>\r\nTITLE: The Secret<br>\r\nAUTHOR: Rhonda Byrne<br>\r\nTIME: 31<br>\r\nREADS: 31.2<br>\r\nIMG_URL: https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/the-secret-cover.jpg<br>\r\nBOOK_SUMMARYURL: the-secret-summary-rhonda-byrne<br>\r\nAMZN_ID: B002M5E2DW<br>\r\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-3-strategies-to-practice-self-love\"><strong>3 Strategies to Practice Self-Love<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Showing love to everyone and everything is essential, but the most important feeling of love you can have is for yourself. You can\u2019t feel good when you don\u2019t know how to practice self-love.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Remember the Golden Rule to treat others the way you want to be treated? Self-love is the reverse of that. When you don\u2019t treat yourself the way you want others to treat you, you are creating a powerful message: \u201cI am not worthy. I am not deserving.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But how do you practice something as elusive as self-love? If you\u2019re looking for some ideas, here are some strategies to get started.&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-1-let-go-of-perfectionism\"><strong>1. Let Go of Perfectionism<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Perfectionism is an antidote to self-love because it\u2019s founded on completely <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/impossible-expectations\/\">unrealistic expectations<\/a>: You\u2019re never going to be perfect (or even <em>appear<\/em> to be perfect). However, the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/perfectionist-mindset\/\">perfectionist mindset<\/a> won\u2019t concede that it sets unrealistic standards. Instead, it tells you that you don\u2019t appear perfect because <em>you aren\u2019t good enough<\/em>, causing you to blame, shame, and judge yourself.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>So, how can we let go of perfectionism? According to Bren\u00e9 Brown, <strong>showing yourself compassion can help you to <\/strong><strong><em>embrace <\/em><\/strong><strong>your imperfections, rather than punish yourself for them or hide them.<\/strong> One way to show <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/compassion-for-yourself\/\">self-compassion<\/a> is to engage in positive self-talk\u2014talk that\u2019s encouraging and kind about yourself and your flaws, rather than critical and judgmental.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class='book-template'>\nTITLE: The Gifts of Imperfection<br>\nAUTHOR: Bren\u00e9 Brown<br>\nTIME: 42<br>\nREADS: 112.4<br>\nIMG_URL: https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/the-gifts-of-imperfection-cover.png<br>\nBOOK_SUMMARYURL: the-gifts-of-imperfection-summary-bren\u00e9-brown<br>\nAMZN_ID: XYZ<br>\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-2-tune-in-to-your-needs\"><strong>2. Tune in to Your Needs<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>The ultimate form of self-love is living a responsible life by being mindful of your needs, wants, emotions, and responsibilities toward yourself and others. This requires a certain level of detachment &#8211; <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/accepting-responsibility\/\">taking responsibility<\/a> for yourself and letting others be responsible for themselves.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The most important way to detach and practice self-love is to ask yourself, <strong>\u201cWhat do I need or want in this moment?\u201d<\/strong> Once you know what you need or want, you can work to attain it yourself, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/asking-people-for-help\/\">ask others for help<\/a> in attaining it, and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-prioritize-yourself-2\/\">prioritize yourself<\/a> by saying \u201cno\u201d when you don\u2019t have the time or resources to say \u201cyes.\u201d&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class='book-template'>\nTITLE: Codependent No More<br>\nAUTHOR: Melody Beattie<br>\nTIME: 69<br>\nREADS: 56.1<br>\nIMG_URL: https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/codependent-no-more-cover.png<br>\nBOOK_SUMMARYURL: codependent-no-more-summary-melody-beattie<br>\nAMZN_ID: XYZ<br>\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-3-learn-to-say-no\"><strong>3. Learn to Say No<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Most people are reluctant to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/saying-no\/\">say<\/a><a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/saying-no\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"> <\/a><a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/saying-no\/\">no to others<\/a>. We\u2019re afraid of creating conflict, disappointing someone, angering our boss, or missing an opportunity. Furthermore, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/saying-no\/\">saying no<\/a> makes us uncomfortable because it\u2019s socially awkward.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>However, saying no to things you don\u2019t want to do is a way of showing yourself love. By saying no to things that don\u2019t serve you, you are putting yourself first.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-tips-for-saying-no\"><strong>Tips for Saying No&nbsp;<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>Remember, you\u2019re rejecting the decision, not the person. Rejecting someone\u2019s request isn\u2019t the same as rejecting them. Separate the two in your mind. Then communicate your decision clearly but also kindly. You may want to reject the request without using the word no. For instance, you might say, \u201cI would love to do it, but I\u2019m overcommitted right now.\u201d<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>Remember the trade-off. Remembering what you\u2019d give up if you say yes makes it easier to say no.&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>Think of it as a transaction. In a sense, the other person is selling something\u2014for instance, a cause, an opportunity, or social interaction\u2014in exchange for your time. Considering what\u2019s being sold may help you think more objectively about whether to buy it.&nbsp;<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>Accept that you might be temporarily unpopular. When you say no, the other person may be disappointed or angry. However, the anger usually doesn\u2019t last. In the longer term, the other person may respect you more for demonstrating that your time is valuable, which is more important than popularity.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-final-words\"><strong>Final Words<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>In today\u2019s perfectionistic and hyper-critical culture, it\u2019s especially important to know <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/ways-to-practice-self-love\/\">how to practice self-love and self-care<\/a>. When you\u2019re intentional about practicing self-love, you make choices that put your needs and well-being first. As a result, you\u2019re more inclined and better able to give love to others.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>If you enjoyed our article about how to practice self-love, check out the following suggestions for further reading:&nbsp;<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/vex-king-good-vibes-good-life\/\"><strong><em>Good Vibes, Good Life<\/em><\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In <em>Good Vibes, Good Life<\/em>, Vex King argues that the key to living <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-manifest-your-dream-life\/\">your dream life<\/a> is to have good vibrations or \u201cgood vibes.\u201d When you put out good vibes like gratitude and joy, you attract good vibes back; however, when you put out bad vibes like resentment, regret, or impatience, you\u2019ll attract bad vibes and consequently experience more hardships. The key to minimizing bad vibes and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/why-more-is-less\/\">maximizing<\/a> good ones, King argues, is knowing how to practice self-love and acceptance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/the-art-of-happiness-dalai-lama\/\"><strong><em>The Art of Happiness<\/em><\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In <em>The Art of Happiness, <\/em>you\u2019ll walk with the Dalai Lama, Nobel Peace Prize winner and spiritual leader of Tibet, down the Buddhist path toward happiness. According to him, you have the power to bring more happiness into your life by simply training yourself to be happier. We\u2019ll discuss his four forms of happiness training, which will improve your outlook on life, interpersonal relationships, resilience in the face of suffering, and everyday spirituality.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/the-untethered-soul-book\/\"><strong><em>The Untethered Soul<\/em><\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In <em>The Untethered Soul<\/em>, spiritual teacher Michael A. Singer, founder of the Temple of the Universe <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/eckhart-tolle-meditation-mindfulness\/\">meditation<\/a> center and a pioneering figure in the world of medical software, teaches you how to use your direct self-knowledge as an intuitive tool for spiritual awakening. Combining powerful principles with practical techniques, he shows you how to free yourself from false identities and live an enlightened life of peace, joy, creativity, and divine love.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>What exactly is self-love, and why is it important? How do you show yourself love? Self-love is a state of appreciation for yourself that results in physical, psychological, and spiritual well-being. When you love yourself, you feel worthy the way you are and put your happiness and well-being first. With this in mind, here\u2019s how to practice self-love and be good to yourself.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":73612,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[43,6],"tags":[452],"class_list":["post-83080","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-self-improvement","category-spiritual","tag-guides","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.3 (Yoast SEO v24.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>How to Practice Self-Love and Why It\u2019s Important&nbsp; - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"You can&#039;t truly love another person if you don&#039;t love yourself. With this in mind, here are three strategies for practicing self-love.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-practice-self-love\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"How to Practice Self-Love and Why It\u2019s Important&nbsp;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"You can&#039;t truly love another person if you don&#039;t love yourself. With this in mind, here are three strategies for practicing self-love.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-practice-self-love\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Shortform Books\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2022-11-08T12:55:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2022-11-08T20:57:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/s3.amazonaws.com\/wordpress.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/self-love-trust-compassion.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"2188\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"1240\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Darya Sinusoid\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Darya Sinusoid\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"6 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-practice-self-love\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-practice-self-love\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Darya Sinusoid\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/0421cce75bc249b11e2517b3a91f9c46\"},\"headline\":\"How to Practice Self-Love and Why It\u2019s Important&nbsp;\",\"datePublished\":\"2022-11-08T12:55:00+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2022-11-08T20:57:00+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-practice-self-love\/\"},\"wordCount\":1409,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-practice-self-love\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/self-love-trust-compassion.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"Guides\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Self-Improvement\",\"Spiritual\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-practice-self-love\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-practice-self-love\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-practice-self-love\/\",\"name\":\"How to Practice Self-Love and Why It\u2019s Important&nbsp; - Shortform Books\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-practice-self-love\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-practice-self-love\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/self-love-trust-compassion.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2022-11-08T12:55:00+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2022-11-08T20:57:00+00:00\",\"description\":\"You can't truly love another person if you don't love yourself. 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