{"id":83051,"date":"2022-11-03T09:25:00","date_gmt":"2022-11-03T13:25:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=83051"},"modified":"2022-11-16T13:02:11","modified_gmt":"2022-11-16T17:02:11","slug":"relationship-agreement","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/relationship-agreement\/","title":{"rendered":"Why and How to Write a Relationship Agreement"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

What is a “relationship agreement”? What are some things you should agree on with your partner before deciding to be in a relationship? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

A relationship agreement is a contract that lays out the rules and expectations that partners have with regard to their relationship. It may seem oddly formal to sign a contract that binds your romantic relationship. But if you don’t set an agreement, it will exist anyway\u2014in an implicit, presumptuous form. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here’s why you should write a relationship agreement, according to dating coach Logan Ury. <\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

What Is a Relationship Agreement? <\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

A relationship agreement articulates your relationship values and how you\u2019ll express them. Revisit this agreement regularly at intervals that work for you\u2014whether that\u2019s yearly or biannually\u2014to review and update it as needed. By doing so, you\u2019ll deal with potential issues early instead of letting them fester and damage your relationship long-term.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, if you value time together, you might initially write that you\u2019ll spend 12 hours one-on-one each week. Once you have kids, you may realize that you regularly only spend 30 minutes together one-on-one and work on adding more couple time to your lives. By doing so, you maintain your connection instead of growing slowly distant and thus unhappy. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

How Dual-Career Couples Should Write Relationship Agreements <\/strong>

Jennifer Petriglieri, author of Couples That Work<\/em><\/a>, suggests that dual-career couples may find relationship agreements especially helpful<\/a>, but her recommendation differs in both purpose and content. She contends that the purpose of a relationship agreement is to clarify your long-term goals, which will give you a guideline for navigating various career transitions\u2014like whether to move for one spouse\u2019s career. This may explain why she doesn\u2019t recommend regularly revisiting the agreement. 

Moreover, in addition to your values, Petriglieri recommends including the following in your agreement: your limits (like where you\u2019re never willing to move to) as well as your fears (like your worry that you\u2019ll be relegated to doing all the domestic work) so that you can pre-emptively address those fears (such as by hiring a housekeeper).<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

What is a “relationship agreement”? What are some things you should agree on with your partner before deciding to be in a relationship? A relationship agreement is a contract that lays out the rules and expectations that partners have with regard to their relationship. It may seem oddly formal to sign a contract that binds your romantic relationship. But if you don’t set an agreement, it will exist anyway\u2014in an implicit, presumptuous form. Here’s why you should write a relationship agreement, according to dating coach Logan Ury.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":31983,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[12],"tags":[784],"class_list":["post-83051","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-relationships","tag-how-to-not-die-alone","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"\nWhy and How to Write a Relationship Agreement - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"It may seem odd to sign a contract that binds your relationship. 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