{"id":81780,"date":"2022-10-20T14:06:00","date_gmt":"2022-10-20T18:06:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=81780"},"modified":"2025-10-03T10:53:55","modified_gmt":"2025-10-03T14:53:55","slug":"meet-new-friends-online","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/meet-new-friends-online\/","title":{"rendered":"What to Consider When You Meet New Friends Online"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Do you want to make friends? Can you meet new friends online?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In Jack Schafer and Marvin Karlins\u2019s book <em>The Like Switch<\/em>, they highlight the advantages and disadvantages of meeting new friends online. On one hand, it&#8217;s a great way to meet like-minded people, but you could also be easily catfished.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Let&#8217;s look at what you need to keep in mind when you form relationships online.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<p><em>Editor\u2019s note: This article is part of\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/hub\/personal-life\/relationships\/friendship-guide\/\">Shortform\u2019s guide to friendships<\/a>. If you like what you read here, there\u2019s plenty more to check out in the guide!<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Friendship in the Digital Age<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>In today\u2019s world, many relationships are formed online. Relationships in virtual spaces have their own set of unique rules and challenges. With that in mind, we\u2019ll discuss some basic facts about online friendships and the authors\u2019 guidelines for <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-make-more-friends\/\">how to meet new friends<\/a> online safely.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Unique Considerations of Meeting New Friends Online<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>The authors identify three main factors that are unique to online relationships:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Consideration #1: It\u2019s Easy to Find People With Common Interests<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>According to Schafer and Karlins, it\u2019s easy to make friends online because it\u2019s easy to find common interests. There are thousands of strangers online who watch the same shows as you, play the same sports as you, have the same hobbies as you, and so on, and they\u2019re all right at your fingertips.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>(Shortform note: You can use the internet to orchestrate <em>in-person<\/em> connections with people who share <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/what-are-you-curious-about\/\">your interests<\/a>. For example, the website <a href=\"https:\/\/www.meetup.com\/\">Meetup allows you to find groups and events in your area centered around almost any topic<\/a>, such as photography, gaming, yoga, hiking, reading, and writing. You\u2019ll get the unique online benefit of finding like-minded people easily while also getting the benefits of real-world interaction.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Consideration #2: It\u2019s Easy to Enter and Leave Intense Connections<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>The authors note that online relationships often intensify quickly because the barrier of the screen makes people feel more comfortable sharing traits they\u2019d normally hide. The relative anonymity means there\u2019s less risk of embarrassment sharing things online than there is in person, and it\u2019s easier to exit uncomfortable situations. If the other person says something that makes you feel uneasy, rejected, or offended, all you have to do is exit the webpage or the app to escape the situation: You don\u2019t have to face backlash from the other person in real-time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Consideration #3: You Can\u2019t Use Nonverbal Cues to Understand People\u2019s Intentions<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>Online relationships also come with unique dangers. The authors claim that without access to the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/nonverbal-cues\/\">nonverbal cues<\/a> that let our brains know whether someone is a potential friend or enemy, it\u2019s difficult to judge someone\u2019s intentions. Additionally, though the internet offers more anonymity than in-person interactions, there\u2019s always a chance that the things you post and write online may be accessible forever. This becomes a problem if you post information or photos that put you in a compromising position.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>(Shortform note: The lack of nonverbal and emotional cues in online interactions has unique implications surrounding cyberbullying. Since we rely on nonverbal cues to interpret other people\u2019s responses to our actions, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.psychologytoday.com\/us\/blog\/smart-parenting-smarter-kids\/202001\/6-common-worries-about-technology-and-teens#:~:text=we%20may%20underestimate%20the%20hurt%20that,cyberbullying%20incidents%20mirror%20and\">bullies may underestimate the severity of the hurt they cause to their victims online.<\/a> Likewise, cyberbullying prolongs the suffering of the victims because of its large audience and the permanence of online content. Reconsider before you post something meant to insult or make fun of someone, no matter how lighthearted your intentions\u2014you never know how much pain you\u2019re causing.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-how-to-safely-navigate-online-relationships\"><strong>How to Safely Navigate Online Relationships<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>The authors list several ways you can meet new friends online safely. First, until you have strong evidence that you&#8217;re talking to the person you think you are, assume that they&#8217;re fabricating at least some details about themselves. Many people lie about specific details like their age, weight, or occupation online, but some assume entirely false identities. You can\u2019t know how honest someone you\u2019ve met online is until you meet them in person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In the meantime, collect evidence that the other person could be lying <em>and<\/em> evidence that they\u2019re telling the truth. Over time, the distribution of the evidence should indicate their level of honesty. If you have a lot more evidence that suggests they\u2019re lying to you, then you should end the relationship.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Finally, meet face to face in a public place or through a video chat early in the relationship. The only way to build lasting trust and rapport is by reading the other person\u2019s nonverbal cues.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Do you want to make friends? Can you meet new friends online? In Jack Schafer and Marvin Karlins\u2019s book The Like Switch, they highlight the advantages and disadvantages of meeting new friends online. On one hand, it&#8217;s a great way to meet like-minded people, but you could also be easily catfished. Let&#8217;s look at what you need to keep in mind when you form relationships online.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":14,"featured_media":5532,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[34,12],"tags":[773],"class_list":["post-81780","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-communication","category-relationships","tag-the-like-switch","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.3 (Yoast SEO v24.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>What to Consider When You Meet New Friends Online - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Meeting new friends online can be risky, but it&#039;s always good to give it a chance. 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