{"id":81357,"date":"2022-10-06T12:14:00","date_gmt":"2022-10-06T16:14:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=81357"},"modified":"2022-10-20T15:25:20","modified_gmt":"2022-10-20T19:25:20","slug":"redefining-success-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/redefining-success-2\/","title":{"rendered":"Why Redefining Success Helps You Achieve More"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>What does <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/success-in-later-life\/\">redefining success<\/a> mean? Do you have a healthy <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-measure-success\/\">idea of success<\/a>? How can you redefine your idea of success?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Psychotherapist Russ Harris wrote <em><a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/confidence-gap\/\">The Confidence Gap<\/a><\/em> for people who struggle to carry out their life goals and seek to change their thinking to be more empowering. According to him, you need to relate differently to the idea of success to effectively <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/pursue-your-goals\/\">pursue goals<\/a> in the long term.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Keep reading to learn how to redefine an unhealthy relationship with success, according to Harris.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-relating-productively-to-success\">Relating Productively to Success<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>According to psychotherapist Russ Harris, to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/meaningful-goals\/\">pursue meaningful goals<\/a> over the long term, you must also relate productively to the <em>idea of success<\/em>. By redefining success, you won&#8217;t become disillusioned along the way and give up. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Harris writes that it\u2019s dangerous to believe that fully achieving your goal is the only way to be successful and to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/ways-to-feel-better-about-yourself\/\">feel good about yourself<\/a>.<\/strong> Often, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/steps-to-achieve-your-goals\/\">achieving your goals<\/a> is contingent on factors outside of your control, which can make it hard to reach them and thus to ever feel that you\u2019ve \u201csucceeded.\u201d When you feel like your goal is unattainable and that success is elusive, you\u2019re more likely to give up pursuing the goal.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>(Shortform note: In perhaps no other field is success more outside of your control than in the creative field. In <a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/big-magic\"><em>Big Magic<\/em><\/a><em>, <\/em>Elizabeth Gilbert stresses that professional creatives have little control over their careers because <a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/big-magic\/chapter-3#dont-strive-for-success\">there are so many creative gatekeepers<\/a>: publishing companies, media executives, and funding agencies, for instance. Gilbert even recommends not trying to earn money through creative work, but instead pursuing recreational creative goals.)&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Redefining success is important because, even if you achieve a goal, <strong>your sense of satisfaction and success will be fleeting<\/strong>: Soon, you\u2019ll find another goal you haven\u2019t yet achieved, and you\u2019ll feel dissatisfied again.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>(Shortform note: Others feel that even if you do succeed in achieving your goals, they might not make you happy in the way you imagined. This is because, often, our goals are the ones society creates for us. <a href=\"https:\/\/www.nytimes.com\/2019\/04\/06\/opinion\/sunday\/moral-revolution-david-brooks.html\">These tend to be individualistic and meritocratic<\/a>\u2014things like making lots of money, having a celebrated career, and owning a house. Many reach these goals and discover\u2014as Harris alludes to\u2014that their satisfaction is fleeting or, in fact, nonexistent. Others might think they\u2019re happy having achieved their goals, but then a crisis occurs, and they discover they\u2019re not spiritually or emotionally fulfilled.)&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-redefine-success-by-living-according-to-your-values\">Redefine Success by Living According to Your Values<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Harris instead invites you to <strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/redefining-success\/\">redefine success<\/a> as living according to your personal values as often as possible<\/strong>. He recommends this because <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/living-by-your-values\/\">living by your values<\/a> <em>is <\/em>fully within your control, making it much easier to achieve success. What\u2019s more, living according to your values is inherently rewarding and increases your overall satisfaction in life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>For instance, if you value empathy, you can choose to be empathetic at any time: at the doctor\u2019s office, when talking to a sibling, and so on. Any act of empathy would be a success. Further, because you value empathy, acting on that value makes you happier and more fulfilled.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>(Shortform note: Harris believes redefining success as living in accordance with your values gives you full control over your success because you can choose to live out your values at any time. However, others might contest the idea that a values-driven life is one you have full control over. In <em>Awaken the Giant Within, <\/em>Tony Robbins argues that <a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/awaken-the-giant-within\/chapter-12#understand-the-role-of-values\">you don\u2019t get to choose your values<\/a>: They arise independently based on life events, your environment, the people you\u2019re around, and so on. Not being able to <em>choose <\/em>your values in the first place implies a lesser degree of control over your life than Harris seems to believe in. Of course, not being able to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-determine-your-values\/\">choose your values<\/a> in the first place doesn\u2019t change the fact that you can still choose to act on them at any time.)&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Importantly, Harris claims redefining success doesn&#8217;t mean you shouldn\u2019t set goals at all. Instead, he thinks that you should <strong>set goals that <em>stem<\/em> from your values<\/strong>. This way, even if you don\u2019t fully reach a goal, you derive satisfaction from the journey toward it because you\u2019re acting according to your values. This also means you don\u2019t only experience satisfaction in the brief moment of attaining a goal: You experience it all along the way toward that goal.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>For instance, if you value empathy, you can live out that value in your stand-up show by paying careful attention to the audience and using material you think they\u2019ll like specifically. Thus, even if you didn\u2019t feel you reached your goal of having an amazing show, you still were empathetic to your audience, which gives you a sense of success and satisfaction.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>(Shortform note: If you hesitate to set goals at all because you don\u2019t want to slip into goal-oriented thinking, consider an alternative perspective on goals and values, also from Tony Robbins: He doesn\u2019t ask you to define separate goals and values, but rather to <a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/awaken-the-giant-within\/chapter-12#understand-the-role-of-values\">define <em>two types<\/em> of values: \u201cends\u201d and \u201cmeans.\u201d<\/a> Ends are the big-picture values you want to achieve in life (like connection, contentment, and joy) while means are the smaller-picture values that help you achieve the ends (for instance, valuing friends as a <em>means<\/em> leads to greater connection as an <em>end<\/em>). Thus, by pursuing your \u201cmeans\u201d values, you\u2019ll live out your \u201cends\u201d values without having to worry about achieving specific goals.)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>What does redefining success mean? Do you have a healthy idea of success? How can you redefine your idea of success? Psychotherapist Russ Harris wrote The Confidence Gap for people who struggle to carry out their life goals and seek to change their thinking to be more empowering. According to him, you need to relate differently to the idea of success to effectively pursue goals in the long term. Keep reading to learn how to redefine an unhealthy relationship with success, according to Harris.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":19,"featured_media":81378,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[42,9],"tags":[770],"class_list":["post-81357","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-motivation","category-psychology","tag-the-confidence-gap","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.3 (Yoast SEO v24.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Why Redefining Success Helps You Achieve More - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Do you have a healthy idea of success? 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