{"id":80865,"date":"2022-10-02T15:55:00","date_gmt":"2022-10-02T19:55:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=80865"},"modified":"2022-10-13T09:52:23","modified_gmt":"2022-10-13T13:52:23","slug":"how-to-be-more-likable","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-be-more-likable\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Be More Likable & Memorable: 5 Ways to Win People Over"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Do you want to learn how to be more likable<\/a> and memorable with people you meet? How might your life be different if you could win people over like never before?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vanessa Van Edwards is a self-proclaimed \u201crecovering awkward person.\u201d She’s also a TEDx Talk presenter and blogger on how to master interpersonal skills. She’s developed strategies to make yourself magnetic, and she shares them in her book Captivate<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Keep reading for five strategies from Van Edwards that will make people like and remember you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

How to Be More Likable & Memorable<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Let’s look at Van Edwards’s advice on how to be more likable and memorable by establishing trust, initiating meaningful conversations, being interested to be interesting, highlighting shared connections, and being your authentic self.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

#1: Establish Trust<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Van Edwards asserts that people decide whether they trust and like us before we even speak, so it\u2019s critical to make both happen immediately.<\/strong> She says you can increase the likelihood of a positive first interaction by making three simple adjustments to your physical behavior: <\/p>\n\n\n\n

  1. Use your hands to demonstrate that you\u2019re trustworthy. Keep your hands visible to show that you\u2019re not hiding anything, gesture to show your intent, and give a firm handshake, which releases the connection hormone, oxytocin.<\/li>
  2. Stand up straight with your shoulders back<\/a> and chest out to project confidence.<\/li>
  3. Maintain eye contact in 60 to 70 percent of your interactions to cultivate trust, demonstrate your interest in the other person, and produce oxytocin. <\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n
    Use Gestures and Eye Contact Effectively<\/strong>

    Van Edwards doesn\u2019t specify the order in which you should establish trust and likability<\/a>; however, body language<\/a> expert Carol Kinsey Goman argues that when you\u2019re giving a public presentation, you must first establish trust with your audience or it\u2019ll be nearly impossible to get your message across to them<\/a>\u2014it\u2019s not enough for the audience to simply like you. She builds on Van Edwards\u2019s assertion that hand gestures play a critical role in garnering people\u2019s trust, stating that your hand gestures and what you\u2019re saying must be perfectly aligned for people to trust you<\/strong>. If the two are out of sync, people will subconsciously perceive deceit or uncertainty in you.

    For example, you can signal candor and openness by showing and tilting your palms at a 45-degree angle or demonstrate certainty by rotating your palms down. If you\u2019re looking to center and ground yourself and your audience, keep your arms bent at a 45-degree angle and gesture within that horizontal plane while adopting a shoulder-width stance.

    In addition to     building trust<\/a> through hand gestures, Van Edwards recommends making physical adjustments to your body to project confidence\u2014a strategy worth employing not just because it makes you more likable, but because it leads to physiological changes that make you<\/em> feel better by increasing testosterone and decreasing the chemical associated with stress and anxiety<\/a>.

    Finally, as you work to project trust and likability through physical adjustments, be mindful that making and holding eye contact can build trust in some situations but have negative connotations in others. For example, research shows that     if you\u2019re negotiating with someone, looking directly into their eyes can be perceived as a sign of competition and deceit.<\/a> There are cultural considerations, as well: For example, making direct eye contact in some East Asian countries, such as Japan<\/a>, is considered disrespectful.<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

    #2: Initiate Meaningful Conversations <\/h3>\n\n\n\n

    Van Edwards asserts that, to make others like and remember you, you have to break out of the boring small talk mold and ignite interesting conversations that push people to think of new and different things.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    To start novel conversations, you can ask questions that 1) people don\u2019t expect, shake them out of their rut, and 2) engage people by prompting them to talk about subjects they love and are excited to talk about. For example, \u201cWhat\u2019s the most exciting thing that happened to you today?\u201d or \u201cWhat\u2019s the one thing you\u2019re most looking forward to doing this year?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Van Edwards says that telling interesting stories will enable you to deepen your engagement and forge connections with others. She says that great stories are no more than two to three minutes long and have three parts: a hook to grab attention<\/a>, a problem that must be solved, and words that describe and excite.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    She recommends the following three-pronged approach for introducing and using stories to engage and fuel further conversation with people:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    1. Build off of a frequently discussed subject.<\/li>
    2. Tell a funny or quirky story related to that subject.<\/li>
    3. End with a transition sentence or question that connects your story back to the person you\u2019re talking with.<\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n

      Van Edwards suggests having a stash of stories and questions on hand for different subjects that typically come up in casual conversation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      #3: Be Interested to Be Interesting<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

      Van Edwards asserts that, when you\u2019re genuinely interested in other people, they find you<\/em> interesting. When you make people feel good, they’ll like and remember you. You can make people feel good in three ways:<\/p>\n\n\n\n