Want to know how to give a woman an orgasm? What makes women feel aroused?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
In She Comes First<\/em>, Clinical Sexologist Ian Kerner answers what gives women orgasms: cunnilingus. He lays out techniques that will help make a woman’s experience in bed more fun and enjoyable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Continue reading to learn how to give a woman an orgasm.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n Now that you understand the basic functions of female sexual anatomy<\/a>, it\u2019s time to focus<\/a> on when, how, and where to touch your female partner so you can walk her through each stage of the sexual response process until she reaches orgasm. Kerner breaks this process down into three steps: foreplay, cunnilingus, and after-play. <\/p>\n\n\n\n We’ll lay out Kerner\u2019s techniques on how to give a woman an orgasm with foreplay, how to make her orgasm with cunnilingus, and how to continue the fun with after-play.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Kerner defines foreplay as everything that comes before<\/em> clitoral stimulation. He explains that stimulating your female partner before touching her clitoris is necessary because women require anticipation to become properly aroused<\/strong>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Kerner recommends several techniques to pique her anticipation and arousal:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Kerner says sufficient foreplay should last <\/strong>at least<\/em><\/strong> 10-15 minutes, and you should wait until her arousal and anticipation have peaked before moving to cunnilingus<\/strong>. However, he notes that the typical indications of arousal like natural vaginal lubrication aren\u2019t always accurate indicators\u2014some women may get wet without being very aroused, and others may be very aroused but not very wet. To more accurately judge when to move to the next step, look for changes in her breathing pattern (like irregular breathing) and tightening of her abdominal muscles.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Once your female partner is sufficiently aroused, Kerner says that it\u2019s time to move on<\/a> to cunnilingus where you\u2019ll build her arousal even further until she orgasms. We can break Kerner\u2019s process down into four major steps: making first contact, establishing rhythm, introducing manual stimulation, and bringing her to orgasm. This process should take anywhere from 15-45 minutes, not including foreplay.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Kerner places special emphasis on the moment you first make contact with your partner\u2019s clitoris because this is the moment she\u2019s been anticipating\u2014Kerner calls this the \u201cfirst kiss.\u201d This will be important in giving women orgasms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The first step in making contact is getting into a comfortable and practical position<\/strong>. Kerner says to avoid any positions that could make things difficult, uncomfortable, or distracting. Instead, she should be on her back with her legs slightly bent and spread just enough for your head to fit between them. You can prop a pillow beneath her neck, head, and buttocks to direct blood flow to her vulva and increase her comfort\u2014the pillow under her buttocks will also make it easier for you to reach her sexual parts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Next, give her a final burst of anticipation<\/strong>. You\u2019ll be in position at this point so she knows what\u2019s coming\u2014but make her want it even more. Kiss her inner thighs, outer corners of her vulva, outer lips, and even the top of her clitoral head. Make sure to use short, pursed kisses with no tongue. You can also do this through her panties before removing or pushing them aside for first contact.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Then make contact.<\/strong> Your first lick should be a slow and soft one starting at the vaginal entrance, moving lightly <\/em>over the clitoral head, and ending at the commissure where you should press the clitoral shaft with the tip of your tongue for a moment. <\/p>\n\n\n\n After you make first contact, start to create a rhythm with your tongue strokes. Kerner emphasizes that it\u2019s important to strike a balance between action and stillness when performing cunnilingus<\/strong>. If you move too fast, you\u2019ll sabotage her anticipation and may overstimulate her, ultimately decreasing arousal. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Taking this into account, Kerner recommends a system to establish rhythm and increase arousal:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Once you\u2019ve established a rhythm that increases her arousal and continues to build anticipation, Kerner says you can introduce manual stimulation with your hands and fingers. You should maintain tongue strokes while doing so. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Kerner recommends introducing manual stimulation gradually<\/strong>. Start by tracing her labia with your fingers, gently pinching them, stimulating the front commissure, tapping the frenulum, and teasing her fourchette and vaginal entrance. Then, slowly insert your index finger about two inches into her vagina and hold it still. Your other free hand should go under her buttocks to keep her in place. You can squeeze them together for a more advanced move.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Once she\u2019s adjusted to your finger, you can curl it up toward her belly button in a \u201ccome here\u201d motion and press against the vaginal ceiling with your fingertip<\/strong>\u2014this will stimulate her internal clitoral nerves<\/a>. Once she\u2019s adjusted, you can insert your middle finger as well. While you do this, you can integrate a more advanced move by pressing your hand to her mons pubis and pushing slightly upward\u2014this will expose the clitoral head and make her more sensitive to your tongue strokes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Kerner recommends a few more advanced moves that you may want to consider integrating at this time: <\/p>\n\n\n\n (1) Switch up your tongue strokes. You can integrate horizontal strokes, diagonal strokes, quick, repetitive strokes, gently suck the clitoral head, or press a flat tongue against her so she can move against you. <\/p>\n\n\n\n (2) Adjust your fingers. You can add a third finger depending on what\u2019s comfortable for her. You can also use your thumb to stimulate the anus or press her perineum.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Kerner says that to give women <\/strong>orgasms, increase pressure on her clitoris and provide her with a point of resistance to increase muscular tension.<\/strong> To do this, press your gums against her front commissure. This will allow you to provide direct pressure to her clitoral head with regular tongue sweeps. It will also create a point of resistance that she can move against to create her own rhythm if she desires. Kerner says you should also place your hand back under her buttocks if you previously removed it\u2014this will keep her in place and provide another point of resistance.<\/p>\n\n\n\nHow to Achieve Female Orgasm<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Forepla<\/strong>y<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Cunnilingus<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Step #1: First Contact<\/h4>\n\n\n\n
Step #2: Rhythm<\/h4>\n\n\n\n
Step #3: Manual Stimulation<\/h4>\n\n\n\n
Step #4: Approaching Orgasm<\/h4>\n\n\n\n