{"id":77661,"date":"2022-08-27T13:15:21","date_gmt":"2022-08-27T17:15:21","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=77661"},"modified":"2022-09-05T19:55:24","modified_gmt":"2022-09-05T23:55:24","slug":"self-sabotaging-habits-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/self-sabotaging-habits-2\/","title":{"rendered":"Self-Sabotaging Habits You Need to Change Now"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>What are <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/why-do-we-self-sabotage\/\">self-sabotaging habits<\/a>? Why are they harmful? How can you identify your own habits that sabotage you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>According to psychologist and bestselling author Nicole LePera, many people engage in self-sabotaging habits that prevent them from being happy. Despite their efforts to change, they end up reverting to their unwanted behaviors and feel powerless to adopt healthier patterns.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Read on to learn how to identify and change self-sabotaging habits, according to LePera.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-identify-your-self-sabotaging-habits\">Identify Your Self-Sabotaging Habits<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>To define the self-sabotaging habits you want to change, you need to reflect on the unwanted circumstances in your life and identify how they make you think, feel, and behave.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>LePera suggests that you reflect on the unwanted situations in your life. Then, write down what types of <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/thoughts-feelings-and-behaviors\/\">thoughts and emotions<\/a> these situations trigger and how they influence your behavior. For example, each time your partner neglects you, you think about how worthless you are and feel pain. You attempt to suppress this pain by binge-watching TV. Thus, you identify two self-sabotaging habits:&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ol class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>Thinking negatively\u2014because it makes you <em>feel<\/em> more worthless and intensifies your pain.&nbsp;<\/li><li>Binge-watching TV\u2014because it prevents you from taking action to change the way you feel.&nbsp;<\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n<p>(Shortform note: James Clear (<a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/atomic-habits\/1-page-summary\"><em>Atomic Habits<\/em><\/a>) suggests a complementary exercise to help you complete LePera\u2019s exercise: <strong>Track your actions and emotions<\/strong>. This will take you beyond simple reflection to <a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/atomic-habits\/part-ii\">develop real-time awareness of your unconscious behaviors and their effect on you<\/a>. As a result, you\u2019ll find it easier to recognize all the ways self-sabotaging patterns show up in your life.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-table\"><table><tbody><tr><td><strong>Advice on Defining Your Self-Sabotaging Patterns<\/strong><br><br>Psychologists expand on this step with <a href=\"https:\/\/www.healthline.com\/health\/self-sabotage#overcoming-it\">practical advice for identifying your self-sabotaging habits<\/a>. They suggest that you should reflect on times when you:<br><br><strong>&#8211; Blame others for your feelings or circumstances:<\/strong> You don\u2019t explore how you\u2019ve contributed to your issues. As a result, you don\u2019t <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/accepting-responsibility\/\">take responsibility<\/a> for or learn from your experiences.<br><strong>&#8211; Abandon your goals:<\/strong> Instead of making an effort to fulfill your needs, you allow setbacks and difficulties to convince you to walk away from what you want.<br><strong>&#8211; Procrastinate:<\/strong> You lack the motivation to do what you need to do, are easily distracted, and suffer from <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/overcoming-self-doubt\/\">self-doubt<\/a> or feelings of overwhelm.<br><strong>&#8211; Antagonize others:<\/strong> You undermine your relationships by provoking arguments, acting inconsiderately, or using passive-aggressive techniques.<br><br>If acknowledging your self-sabotaging patterns inspires self-critical thoughts, remember that the goal of reflecting on unwanted circumstances isn\u2019t to judge or berate yourself for engaging in unwanted habits, but to increase your awareness of what\u2019s <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/whats-holding-you-back\/\">holding you back<\/a> from the life you want. <br><br>To overcome any self-critical thoughts, focus on <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/compassion-for-yourself\/\">self-compassion<\/a> during this step. For example, acknowledge that you\u2019ve been doing the best that you can, or consciously <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/self-forgiveness\/\">forgive yourself<\/a> for any mistakes that you\u2019ve made. By <a href=\"https:\/\/www.reflectioncounselling.ca\/blog\/2020\/4\/9\/the-art-of-self-compassion\">shifting your focus from criticism to kindness<\/a>, you\u2019ll be better able to understand your self-sabotaging habits without falling into the trap of self-defeating thoughts.<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>What are self-sabotaging habits? Why are they harmful? How can you identify your own habits that sabotage you? According to psychologist and bestselling author Nicole LePera, many people engage in self-sabotaging habits that prevent them from being happy. Despite their efforts to change, they end up reverting to their unwanted behaviors and feel powerless to adopt healthier patterns. Read on to learn how to identify and change self-sabotaging habits, according to LePera.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":19,"featured_media":77708,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[9,43],"tags":[734],"class_list":["post-77661","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-psychology","category-self-improvement","tag-how-to-do-the-work","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.3 (Yoast SEO v24.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Self-Sabotaging Habits You Need to Change Now - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"What are self-sabotaging habits and how can you identify yours? 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