{"id":77627,"date":"2022-09-02T13:01:10","date_gmt":"2022-09-02T17:01:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=77627"},"modified":"2022-09-05T19:53:42","modified_gmt":"2022-09-05T23:53:42","slug":"attachment-patterns-in-psychology","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/attachment-patterns-in-psychology\/","title":{"rendered":"Attachment Patterns in Psychology: Childhood Mirroring"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>What are attachment patterns in psychology? How does your childhood influence your current attachment pattern?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Bestselling author Nicole LePera argues that the most effective way to overcome defensive childhood patterns is to consciously address the childhood experiences that caused you pain. According to her, the reason your attachment pattern holds so much sway over you is that you\u2019re still using it to avoid feeling your childhood pain.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Keep reading to learn LePera&#8217;s explanation of psychological attachment patterns caused in childhood.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-attachment-patterns-begin-in-childhood\">Attachment Patterns Begin in Childhood<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>When discussing attachment patterns in psychology, LePera argues that because you\u2019re not conscious of the defensive childhood patterns that have been passed down from your parents, <strong>you automatically seek out and experience relationships that mirror the relationship you had with your parents<\/strong>.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>She explains that your reliance on others to feel loved and secure doesn\u2019t end in childhood but, rather, remains with you throughout your adult life as psychological attachment patterns. And the way you now encourage others to make you feel loved and secure echoes the way you learned to elicit these feelings from your parents. These attachment patterns inevitably re-create the same psychological relationship dynamics you experienced as a child.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>For example, your mother was overbearing and difficult to live with. To elicit affection, you submitted to her demands and ignored your own needs. Because you learned this psychological attachment pattern as a child, you now automatically submit to other people\u2019s demands in an attempt to win over friends and romantic partners. Your submissive behavior inevitably attracts people who <em>want <\/em>you to be submissive\u2014thus creating the same relationship dynamics you shared with your mother.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-table\"><table><tbody><tr><td><strong>Attachment Patterns in Psychology: You Unconsciously Replicate Child-Parent Interactions<\/strong><br><br>Psychological research validates LePera\u2019s argument that adults tend to replicate the childhood relationships they had with their parents. According to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.britannica.com\/science\/attachment-theory\">attachment theory<\/a> in psychology, children form a specific \u201cattachment pattern\u201d largely based on parent-child interactions. The theory asserts that <a href=\"http:\/\/labs.psychology.illinois.edu\/~rcfraley\/attachment.htm\">children carry these attachment patterns into their adult relationships<\/a>.&nbsp;<br><br>In <a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/attached\"><em>Attached<\/em><\/a>, Amir Levine and Rachel S. F. Heller note that this theory assumes <a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/attached\/chapter-1\">children who were raised by supportive caregivers tend to develop a \u201csecure\u201d attachment pattern, while those who were raised by unsupportive caregivers develop \u201cinsecure\u201d attachment patterns<\/a>. They describe two <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/insecure-attachment-in-relationships\/\">insecure attachment<\/a> patterns in psychology: \u201canxious attachment,\u201d defined by a constant need for reassurance from your partner; and \u201cavoidant attachment,\u201d defined by a desire to keep your partner at arm\u2019s length.&nbsp;<br><br>However, Levine and Heller acknowledge that <em>many<\/em> factors in addition to the child-parent relationship play into the development of psychological attachment patterns. Additionally, they assert that attachment patterns are not written in stone: While 70 to 75% of adults remain in the same attachment pattern category throughout their lives, 25 to 30% of adults shift attachment patterns at some point in their lives.&nbsp;<br><br>This means that even if you were raised by unsupportive parents, you\u2019re not <em>predestined<\/em> to become an insecure attacher. Likewise, if you were raised by supportive parents, there\u2019s no guarantee that you\u2019ll become a secure attacher.<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>What are attachment patterns in psychology? How does your childhood influence your current attachment pattern? Bestselling author Nicole LePera argues that the most effective way to overcome defensive childhood patterns is to consciously address the childhood experiences that caused you pain. According to her, the reason your attachment pattern holds so much sway over you is that you\u2019re still using it to avoid feeling your childhood pain. Keep reading to learn LePera&#8217;s explanation of psychological attachment patterns caused in childhood.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":19,"featured_media":77658,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[9,12],"tags":[734],"class_list":["post-77627","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-psychology","category-relationships","tag-how-to-do-the-work","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.3 (Yoast SEO v24.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Attachment Patterns in Psychology: Childhood Mirroring - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"How are attachment patterns formed in psychology? 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