{"id":77337,"date":"2022-09-05T13:38:32","date_gmt":"2022-09-05T17:38:32","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=77337"},"modified":"2022-09-05T19:53:04","modified_gmt":"2022-09-05T23:53:04","slug":"childhood-conditioning","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/childhood-conditioning\/","title":{"rendered":"How Childhood Conditioning Still Controls You"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>What is childhood conditioning? How can it lead to negative long-term effects? <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Holistic psychologist Nicole LePera says the thoughts and behaviors you have adopted as an adult stem from your childhood conditioning. If your parents instilled negative beliefs, then you could still be subconsciously controlled by them, even as an adult.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Keep reading to learn how your childhood conditioning could still be affecting you, according to LePera.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-childhood-conditioning-the-subconscious\">Childhood Conditioning &amp; the Subconscious<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>LePera argues that your emotional and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/cognitive-patterns\/\">behavioral patterns<\/a> are a result of childhood conditioning. As a child, you subconsciously absorbed thoughts, emotions, behaviors, and beliefs from your parents and your environment. <strong>You now automatically default to these conditioned beliefs and behaviors to interpret and respond to all your experiences<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>She explains that <strong>you craved love and security above all else<\/strong>. Because you were completely dependent on your parents to provide this emotional and physical security, you automatically adapted your behaviors to get what you craved:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>If you acted according to their expectations, your parents rewarded you\u2014for example, with positive attention and affection. This made you feel loved and secure.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>If you acted against their expectations, your parents punished you\u2014for example, with rejection or negative judgment. This made you feel unloved and insecure.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>(Shortform note: Researchers add further insight into how childhood conditioning takes hold and continues to influence us as adults. <a href=\"https:\/\/www.sciencedaily.com\/releases\/2017\/05\/170523083301.htm\">Our inherent need to feel emotionally connected motivates us to internalize thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors that help us form cooperative relationships.<\/a> As adults, <strong>this need for connection encourages us to spend time with people who are similar to us<\/strong>\u2014because the feeling of sameness enhances our <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/create-a-sense-of-belonging\/\">sense of belonging<\/a>. However, being around like-minded people makes it difficult to break free of our conditioning\u2014because it constantly reinforces our cognitive, emotional, and behavioral patterns.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-effects-of-painful-childhood-experiences\">Effects of Painful Childhood Experiences<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>LePera argues that, <strong>whenever your parents made you feel unloved and insecure, you felt extreme pain and discomfort<\/strong>. Since you couldn\u2019t escape the situation and hadn\u2019t yet developed the emotional skills to cope with your inner turmoil, you adopted defensive beliefs and behaviors to avoid feeling your pain and prevent similar painful situations from occurring.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Further, since you relied on your parents to teach you how to think, feel, and behave, <strong>you adopted the same defensive beliefs and behaviors that <em>they <\/em>used to cope with their pain.\u00a0<\/strong>LePera argues that your childhood conditioning (the reliance on defensive beliefs and behaviors to avoid feeling pain) doesn\u2019t end in childhood but, rather, follows you into adulthood.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>What is childhood conditioning? How can it lead to negative long-term effects? Holistic psychologist Nicole LePera says the thoughts and behaviors you have adopted as an adult stem from your childhood conditioning. If your parents instilled negative beliefs, then you could still be subconsciously controlled by them, even as an adult. Keep reading to learn how your childhood conditioning could still be affecting you, according to LePera.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":19,"featured_media":77442,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[13,9],"tags":[734],"class_list":["post-77337","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-parenting","category-psychology","tag-how-to-do-the-work","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.3 (Yoast SEO v24.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>How Childhood Conditioning Still Controls You - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"What is childhood conditioning and how could it be responsible for controlling your values and behaviors? 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Learn psychologist LePera&#039;s answer.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/childhood-conditioning\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Shortform Books\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2022-09-05T17:38:32+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2022-09-05T23:53:04+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/s3.amazonaws.com\/wordpress.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/08\/childhood-doll-child-holding-a-doll.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1846\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"1232\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Emily Kitazawa\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Emily Kitazawa\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"2 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/childhood-conditioning\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/childhood-conditioning\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Emily Kitazawa\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/e094024454c7d3334a149c0cf039bdeb\"},\"headline\":\"How Childhood Conditioning Still Controls You\",\"datePublished\":\"2022-09-05T17:38:32+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2022-09-05T23:53:04+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/childhood-conditioning\/\"},\"wordCount\":427,\"commentCount\":1,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/childhood-conditioning\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/08\/childhood-doll-child-holding-a-doll.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"How to Do the Work\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Parenting\",\"Psychology\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/childhood-conditioning\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/childhood-conditioning\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/childhood-conditioning\/\",\"name\":\"How Childhood Conditioning Still Controls You - Shortform Books\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/childhood-conditioning\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/childhood-conditioning\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/08\/childhood-doll-child-holding-a-doll.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2022-09-05T17:38:32+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2022-09-05T23:53:04+00:00\",\"description\":\"What is childhood conditioning and how could it be responsible for controlling your values and behaviors? 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