{"id":77214,"date":"2022-08-27T18:13:00","date_gmt":"2022-08-27T22:13:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=77214"},"modified":"2022-09-08T11:22:54","modified_gmt":"2022-09-08T15:22:54","slug":"how-to-let-go-of-grudges","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-let-go-of-grudges\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Let Go of Grudges and Resentment"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Do you find it difficult to forgive people who&#8217;ve wronged you in some way? How does holding grudges prevent you from being happy and productive? <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Holding grudges is an unhealthy psychological tendency that harms no one but yourself. When we cling to grudges and emotional burdens, we become <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/stuck-in-the-past\/\">stuck in the past<\/a>, unable to fully move forward with our lives. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Here&#8217;s how to let go of grudges and resentment, according to Greg McKeown. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-letting-go-of-grudges\"><strong>Letting Go of Grudges<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>The first step to letting go of grudges is to ask ourselves what emotional need our grudges are filling. If we can better understand <em>why <\/em>we\u2019re holding a grudge, it will be easier to let it go. Here are a few key reasons we hold on to grudges:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>They give us a sense of power<\/strong>: When we hold a grudge, it\u2019s often because we feel we\u2019ve been wronged. Holding the grudge makes us feel like we\u2019re in the right and superior to the one who wronged us. In reality, the grudge holds power over us, not the other way around.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>They garner sympathy from others<\/strong>: Grudges can also be used to express our victimhood. When we share our grudges with others, it can help us feel supported in a time of vulnerability.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>They justify our fear or mistrust<\/strong>: Sometimes we hold a grudge so we have a reason to hold on to negative emotions like fear, anger, or resentment. But if we can\u2019t let go of the grudge, the negative feelings we associate with them will stay with us, as well. In the end, the only person a grudge hurts is you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>How to Forgive<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>McKeown gives us ways to identify <em>why<\/em> we hold grudges. Here are some other <a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/you-are-a-badass\/chapter-15#tips-on-learning-to-forgive\">tips on <\/a>how to let go of grudges from <a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/you-are-a-badass\"><em>You Are a Badass<\/em><\/a>:\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li><strong>Develop compassion<\/strong>: It will be hard to forgive someone unless you can empathize with their situation. Understand that whoever wronged you probably acted out of fear or was dealing with their own hardships.<\/li><li><strong>Focus on yourself<\/strong>: While it\u2019s easy to blame others, focusing on your reaction is most important because it\u2019s the only thing you can control. Try to see irritating situations or people as opportunities for growth.<\/li><li><strong>Don\u2019t worry about being right<\/strong>: One reason we\u2019re duped into holding onto a grudge is our tendency to focus on right and wrong. You may be right about a person or situation, but that isn\u2019t going to change anything.&nbsp;<\/li><li><strong>Let it in, then let it out<\/strong>: Sometimes, the only way to get rid of a negative emotion is to embrace it. If that means you have to scream into a pillow, so be it. Just make sure you aren\u2019t causing harm or stress to yourself or others, and after you embrace the anger, let it go.<\/li><li><strong>Forget about it<\/strong>: A key part of forgiveness is wiping the slate clean. Try not to judge people by their previous actions and focus on the now.<\/li><\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Do you find it difficult to forgive people who&#8217;ve wronged you in some way? How does holding grudges prevent you from being happy and productive? Holding grudges is an unhealthy psychological tendency that harms no one but yourself. When we cling to grudges and emotional burdens, we become stuck in the past, unable to fully move forward with our lives. Here&#8217;s how to let go of grudges and resentment, according to Greg McKeown.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":45371,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[9,12,43],"tags":[731],"class_list":["post-77214","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-psychology","category-relationships","category-self-improvement","tag-effortless","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.3 (Yoast SEO v24.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>How to Let Go of Grudges and Resentment - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Holding grudges is an unhealthy psychological tendency that harms no one but yourself. Here&#039;s how to let go of grudges and resentment.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-let-go-of-grudges\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"How to Let Go of Grudges and Resentment\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Holding grudges is an unhealthy psychological tendency that harms no one but yourself. 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