{"id":76124,"date":"2022-08-13T11:01:00","date_gmt":"2022-08-13T15:01:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=76124"},"modified":"2022-08-22T16:03:15","modified_gmt":"2022-08-22T20:03:15","slug":"making-hard-decisions","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/making-hard-decisions\/","title":{"rendered":"The #1 Rule of Thumb for Making Hard Decisions"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Are you facing a difficult decision? How do you <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/be-decisive\/\">make a decision<\/a> when neither option is appealing?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-make-hard-decisions\/\">making hard decisions<\/a> in life, first and foremost, consult your values. If you make a decision that contradicts your values, you&#8217;ll likely regret it down the road. Your core values are the guiding compass that will lead you in the right direction even when you don&#8217;t know your final destination.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Keep reading to learn about the importance of values in <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/methods-of-decision-making-crucial-conversations\/\">decision-making<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-clarify-your-values\"><strong>Clarify Your Values<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>When a decision feels emotionally fraught, it\u2019s a sign that it may be a choice between one or more of your values. When making hard decisions that involve choosing between multiple values, clarify which of those values are most important to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-table\"><table><tbody><tr><td><strong>The Relationship Between Cultural Values and Decision-Making<\/strong><br><br>When <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/clarifying-your-values\/\">clarifying your values<\/a>, consider how the values that impact your decision may be culturally rooted. Research reveals that <a href=\"https:\/\/www.npr.org\/transcripts\/519266687\">our cultural background influences whether we look inward or outward when we make emotionally fraught decisions<\/a>. If your culture values individuality, you may make decisions by looking inward and determining your own wants and needs. By contrast, if your culture values collectivity, you may look outward and make choices based on what others expect of you.&nbsp;<br><br>We can learn from both approaches. When you <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/clarify-your-values\/\">clarify your values<\/a> for an emotionally-fraught decision, notice if you find yourself looking inward or outward. If this approach isn\u2019t serving you, or if it isn\u2019t helping you to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-manage-your-emotions\/\">manage your emotions<\/a> and make a decision, consider taking the opposite approach.<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>One value-clarifying technique that the authors recommend is a \u201cstop doing list.\u201d Business consultant <a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/good-to-great\/chapter-6#hedgehog-thinking-always\">Jim Collins created this technique<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>First, imagine receiving two phone calls: one telling you that you\u2019ve been given 20 million dollars, and another sharing that you\u2019ll die in 10 years.<\/li><li>Next, ask yourself: What do you want to spend more time doing to make those last 10 years meaningful? What do you need to <em>stop<\/em> doing to make that possible?<\/li><li>Finally, the Heath brothers add another step: Look at your schedule and remove everything you decided you want to stop doing. What you leave behind reflects what you value most, and what you cut reflects what you don\u2019t value as much.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-table\"><table><tbody><tr><td><strong>Use <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/satisficing-model-of-decision-making\/\">Satisficing<\/a> to Make Values-Oriented Decisions<\/strong><br><br>Jim Collins\u2019s stop-doing list and the Heath brothers\u2019 addition prompt us to ponder what we value most and identify ways that we\u2019re wasting our time. But it\u2019s possible that after these exercises, we\u2019ll still be left with a list of multiple values. For the purposes of decision-making, how can we prioritize these remaining values?&nbsp;<br><br>Psychologist Barry Schwartz, author of <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/app\/book\/the-paradox-of-choice\/1-page-summary\"><em>The Paradox of Choice<\/em><\/a>, offers advice: Don\u2019t expect you\u2019ll find the perfect answer, and don\u2019t overthink it. For a decision that concerns a choice between multiple important values, there may <em>be<\/em> no best choice. He recommends a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/principles-of-decision-making\/\">decision-making strategy<\/a> called <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/app\/book\/the-paradox-of-choice\/chapter-4#maximizing-vs-satisficing\">satisficing: choosing an option that\u2019s satisfactory, rather than perfect.<\/a> His research shows that maximizers\u2014people who take time deeply considering every possibility until they find the best one\u2014are often more unhappy with their decisions.<br><br>Let\u2019s put the authors\u2019 strategies and Schwartz\u2019s advice into a real-world context. Imagine a person is deciding whether she wants to continue living in the city or move to the country. She sees herself as a \u201ccountry person\u201d at heart. But she also identifies as LGBTQA+, and there\u2019s a larger queer community in the city. After making her \u201cstop doing list\u201d and analyzing her calendar, she finds that she equally values time in the country <em>and<\/em> time in community with other queer people.<br><br>If she were to approach her decision as a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/why-more-is-less\/\">maximizer<\/a>, she may spend years searching for the perfect country town that <em>also<\/em> has a vibrant queer community\u2014a search that may or may not yield any results. If she approaches her decision as a satisficer, she may miss out on living in that perfect town. But by making a choice, she can end the stress of deciding\u2014and move on to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-brainstorm-effectively\/\">brainstorming<\/a> how to make that choice great.<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Are you facing a difficult decision? How do you make a decision when neither option is appealing? When making hard decisions in life, first and foremost, consult your values. If you make a decision that contradicts your values, you&#8217;ll likely regret it down the road. Your core values are the guiding compass that will lead you in the right direction even when you don&#8217;t know your final destination. Keep reading to learn about the importance of values in decision-making.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":733,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[7,9,6],"tags":[721],"class_list":["post-76124","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-lifestyle","category-psychology","category-spiritual","tag-decisive","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.3 (Yoast SEO v24.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>The #1 Rule of Thumb for Making Hard Decisions - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"When it comes to making hard decisions, consult your values. Your values are the guiding compass that will lead you in the right direction.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/making-hard-decisions\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The #1 Rule of Thumb for Making Hard Decisions\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"When it comes to making hard decisions, consult your values. Your values are the guiding compass that will lead you in the right direction.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/making-hard-decisions\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Shortform Books\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2022-08-13T15:01:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2022-08-22T20:03:15+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/08\/blink-intuitive-decision-making.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"735\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"457\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Darya Sinusoid\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Darya Sinusoid\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/making-hard-decisions\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/making-hard-decisions\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Darya Sinusoid\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/0421cce75bc249b11e2517b3a91f9c46\"},\"headline\":\"The #1 Rule of Thumb for Making Hard Decisions\",\"datePublished\":\"2022-08-13T15:01:00+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2022-08-22T20:03:15+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/making-hard-decisions\/\"},\"wordCount\":697,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/making-hard-decisions\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/08\/blink-intuitive-decision-making.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"Decisive\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Lifestyle\",\"Psychology\",\"Spiritual\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/making-hard-decisions\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/making-hard-decisions\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/making-hard-decisions\/\",\"name\":\"The #1 Rule of Thumb for Making Hard Decisions - Shortform Books\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/making-hard-decisions\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/making-hard-decisions\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/08\/blink-intuitive-decision-making.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2022-08-13T15:01:00+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2022-08-22T20:03:15+00:00\",\"description\":\"When it comes to making hard decisions, consult your values. 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