{"id":75206,"date":"2022-08-08T12:30:00","date_gmt":"2022-08-08T16:30:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=75206"},"modified":"2022-08-12T14:19:22","modified_gmt":"2022-08-12T18:19:22","slug":"promoting-independence-in-early-childhood","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/promoting-independence-in-early-childhood\/","title":{"rendered":"2 Ways to Promote Independence in Early Childhood"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Why is promoting <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/maturity-continuum-7-habits\/\">independence<\/a> in early childhood important? What are some effective ways to promote independence?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Author Alfie Kohn created his unconditional parenting technique to teach parents how unconditional acceptance leads to more emotionally stable children. While this technique is more demanding than traditional parenting, Kohn says your investment will promote independence in early childhood.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Read on to learn Kohn&#8217;s two ways to promote independence in early childhood.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Benefits of Promoting Independence in Early Childhood<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Alfie Kohn is the author of 14 books, most of which focus on education and parenting. In <em>Unconditional Parenting<\/em>, he argues that most of us have learned to parent in a \u201cconditional\u201d way: That is, we make our children believe that we only love them when they do what we want.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>Unconditional Parenting<\/em>, published in 2005, was an early contribution to the popular \u201c<a href=\"https:\/\/sarahockwell-smith.com\/2013\/09\/22\/what-is-gentle-parenting-and-how-is-it-different-to-mainstream-parenting\/\">gentle parenting<\/a>\u201d movement: a set of loosely associated approaches that move away from traditional discipline methods.<strong> Advocates for gentle parenting argue that it promotes independence in early childhood by:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li><strong>Fostering autonomy<\/strong><\/li><li><strong>Developing stronger parent-child bonds<\/strong><\/li><li><strong>Building children\u2019s <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-increase-intrinsic-motivation\/\">internal motivation<\/a><\/strong><\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">#1: Control the Environment<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>To promote independence in early childhood, Kohn recommends structuring your child\u2019s environment so it sets him up for success.<\/strong> For example, it\u2019s more effective to set up a barrier between the child and any dangerous objects than to continually tell them \u201cno\u201d or move him away. For a small child, this could look like moving breakable objects to higher shelves. If you\u2019re going to leave the house to do something that you know will be boring for your child, bring along some toys or books that will keep him occupied.&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This guideline applies to time, too: It\u2019s a universal rule of parenting that the tighter the timeframe, the longer the child will take to get ready. Whenever you can, allot more time to activities than you think you\u2019ll need. Doing this also helps you to keep your cool.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-table\"><table><tbody><tr><td><strong>Control the Environment, Not the Child: The \u201cYes Space\u201d Technique<\/strong><br><br>Janet Lansbury recommends setting up a \u201c<a href=\"https:\/\/www.janetlansbury.com\/2021\/06\/yes-spaces-what-they-really-are-and-why-they-matter\/\">yes space<\/a>\u201d for your child to promote independence in early childhood. Yes spaces are places that are totally secure\u2014they\u2019re set up so that the child can do whatever she wants inside the space without putting herself in danger (or hearing the word \u201cno\u201d). For younger children, a yes space can be a crib or playpen; for older children, you can set up their whole room this way. <strong>Experiencing periods when they don\u2019t constantly hear \u201cno\u201d promotes a longer attention span, gives more freedom, and helps kids practice independence in early childhood.<\/strong><\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-2-avoid-intervening\">#2: Avoid Intervening<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>According to Kohn, most parents are too quick to meddle in their child\u2019s activities, which won&#8217;t promote independence in early childhood.<\/strong> To help your child build autonomy, let them sort things out for themselves as much as possible\u2014even if it means sitting on your hands or biting your tongue. (Of course, this doesn\u2019t apply if the child is in immediate danger.) Whenever you\u2019re about to ask a child to do something, pause and consider whether it\u2019s really important. If it\u2019s not, keep quiet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Kohn suggests that instead of constantly telling children what to do, you should <strong>foster autonomy by offering choices and asking questions<\/strong>. To promote independence in early childhood, let children make their own decisions whenever possible, even if this occasionally makes you feel uncomfortable.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-table\"><table><tbody><tr><td><strong>Avoid Intervening: The Counting and Sportscasting Techniques<\/strong><br><br>Avoiding intervention is a cornerstone of the Montessori approach. Maria Montessori believed that children learn best from noticing the effects of their actions on the environment and that the job of the parent is to \u201c<a href=\"https:\/\/montessoritraining.blogspot.com\/2013\/09\/knowing-when-to-intervene-in-montessori.html\">remain a quiet observer of all that happens<\/a>.\u201d Montessori apparently <a href=\"https:\/\/www.themontessorinotebook.com\/stay-calm\/\">carried around a string of rosary beads<\/a> that she would count whenever she felt tempted to intervene. You don\u2019t have to carry a string of beads, but consider counting to 10 when you\u2019re tempted to interfere\u2014by the time you get to 10, there might not be any need to.<br><br>An alternative approach, and one that\u2019s especially helpful when children are feeling angry or frustrated, is \u201c<a href=\"https:\/\/www.janetlansbury.com\/2013\/04\/5-benefits-of-sportscasting-your-childs-struggles\/\">sportscasting<\/a>.\u201d Popularized by Janet Lansbury, sportscasting is putting neutral words to what children are doing and feeling. Instead of rushing in to comfort or help a child, a sportscasting parent might say: \u201cYour block tower fell down again. You look disappointed.\u201d Lansbury notes that this technique is especially helpful when there\u2019s conflict between children, as it often spurs them to work out the conflict themselves.<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Why is promoting independence in early childhood important? What are some effective ways to promote independence? Author Alfie Kohn created his unconditional parenting technique to teach parents how unconditional acceptance leads to more emotionally stable children. While this technique is more demanding than traditional parenting, Kohn says your investment will promote independence in early childhood. Read on to learn Kohn&#8217;s two ways to promote independence in early childhood.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":19,"featured_media":75229,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[15,13],"tags":[711],"class_list":["post-75206","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-education","category-parenting","tag-unconditional-parenting","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.3 (Yoast SEO v24.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>2 Ways to Promote Independence in Early Childhood - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Want to know proven ways to promote independence in early childhood? 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