{"id":74860,"date":"2022-07-27T13:03:00","date_gmt":"2022-07-27T17:03:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=74860"},"modified":"2022-08-10T12:42:20","modified_gmt":"2022-08-10T16:42:20","slug":"dealing-with-stress-and-anxiety","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/dealing-with-stress-and-anxiety\/","title":{"rendered":"The Struggles of Dealing With Stress and Anxiety"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

What are the struggles of dealing with stress<\/a> and anxiety? Why is it so hard to change anxious behavior?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

According to Dr. Judson Brewer, many people struggle with getting rid of anxiety. He explains in his book Unwinding Anxiety<\/em> that people are resistant to change because they believe anxiety has some benefits.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let’s look at why anxiety isn’t beneficial and the obstacles you’ll face while coping with anxiety.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

First, Is Anxiety Ever Beneficial?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

To start with, Brewer points out that some people are uncomfortable with the idea of completely getting rid of anxiety<\/strong>, believing that a little anxiety is a necessary motivator. He dismisses this idea, arguing that the research it\u2019s based on has been debunked and that many elite athletes and other performers appear totally relaxed when at their best. Knowing anxiety doesn’t have any necessary benefits should be a motivating factor in dealing with stress and anxiety.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why We Resist Change<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

This desire to hold on to a little anxiety is part of what psychiatrist David Burns calls outcome resistance<\/a>\u2014his term for when therapy fails because on some level patients don\u2019t want to change even though they think they want to<\/em> (this is opposed to process resistance, where therapy fails because patients want to change but are unwilling to do the necessary work). <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Burns argues that when beginning treatment (whether through formal therapy or self-help), you first need to weigh the pros and cons of the disorder you\u2019re trying to change (in this case, anxiety). In particular, he suggests listing the positive side effects of anxiety<\/a> and asking why you would want to let go of these. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The idea is that by honestly assessing what we\u2019re getting out of anxiety, we can see that there are <\/em>benefits\u2014for instance, anxiety can keep you from taking risks, and some risks are harmful. But we can also see that these benefits are generally outweighed by the drawbacks they come with\u2014for example, in extreme anxiety, you might perceive leaving your home or interacting with others as risks, which can severely limit your life. Plus, as we\u2019ve seen, even if anxiety does motivate you to do work, by shutting down your brain, it makes your work less effective.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Burns believes that if you take the time to consider all of your motivations\u2014including your motivations to stay the same, not just your motivations to change\u2014you can avoid outcome resistance because you\u2019ll have made a fully informed decision. Note that this recommendation fits well with Brewer\u2019s suggestions to mindfully examine your behaviors. The same techniques you\u2019d use to assess a behavior\u2019s reward value can help you examine the pros and cons of your anxiety as a whole.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Roadblocks to Change<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Even if you fully buy into the goal of eliminating and dealing with your stress and anxiety, you might run into additional roadblocks, such as overthinking and beating yourself up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Overthinking<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Brewer warns that it\u2019s easy to overthink things when you\u2019re trying to change anxiety. Overthinking can take several forms:<\/p>\n\n\n\n