{"id":74857,"date":"2022-07-30T13:57:00","date_gmt":"2022-07-30T17:57:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=74857"},"modified":"2022-08-10T12:42:12","modified_gmt":"2022-08-10T16:42:12","slug":"getting-over-anxiety","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/getting-over-anxiety\/","title":{"rendered":"2 Common Roadblocks to Getting Over Anxiety"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>How hard is it to get over anxiety? What will get in your way if you seek treatment?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Even if you fully buy into the goal of eliminating your anxiety, you might run into additional roadblocks. Dr. Judson Brewer&#8217;s book <em>Unwinding Anxiety<\/em> says that the two main roadblocks are overthinking and beating yourself up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Keep reading to learn why getting over anxiety isn&#8217;t as easy as many people think.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-1-overthinking\">1. Overthinking<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Brewer warns that it\u2019s easy to overthink things when you\u2019re getting over anxiety. Overthinking can take several forms:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li><strong>Getting stuck in the conceptual stage<\/strong>\u2014that is, mapping out <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/the-habit-loop-2\/\">habit loops<\/a> without actually doing anything about them.&nbsp;<\/li><li><strong>Applying old knowledge and habits to try to change anxiety<\/strong>. As we\u2019ve seen, a lot of <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/habit-change\/\">habit change<\/a> strategies don\u2019t work on anxiety. Plus, as Brewer points out, there\u2019s no sense in trying to change anxiety using the same behaviors and thought processes that created it in the first place<strong>.<\/strong><\/li><li><strong>Viewing <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/eckhart-tolle-meditation-mindfulness\/\">mindfulness<\/a> as knowledge instead of a skill.<\/strong> You have to practice regularly to get any benefit.<\/li><li>Trying to figure out why you\u2019re anxious\u2014which doesn\u2019t actually matter. He says you don\u2019t need to diagnose a root cause to fix the problem, and obsessing about <em>why <\/em>you\u2019re this way or <em>why <\/em>you haven\u2019t gotten better only makes the situation worse.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>(Shortform note: While Brewer warns against \u201coverthinking\u201d anxiety, there may be some benefit to combining mindfulness with a more analytical approach. In <a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/emotional-intelligence\/\"><em>Emotional Intelligence<\/em><\/a>, Daniel Goleman argues that to defeat anxiety, you need to <a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/emotional-intelligence\/chapter-5-2\">actively challenge your anxious thoughts<\/a>\u2014he suggests asking yourself how likely a feared outcome is, determining what you could do to prevent that outcome or deal with it if it occurred, and questioning whether your worrying is actually helping you. Similarly, in <a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/cognitive-behavior-therapy-basics-and-beyond\/\"><em>Cognitive Behavior Therapy: Basics and Beyond<\/em><\/a>, Judith S. Beck argues that treating mood disorders like anxiety requires <a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/cognitive-behavior-therapy-basics-and-beyond\/identifying-automatic-thoughts-and-problem-solving\">identifying and correcting automatic thoughts<\/a> and finding and reprogramming the <a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/cognitive-behavior-therapy-basics-and-beyond\/identifying-deeper-beliefs\">core beliefs that lead to these thoughts<\/a>.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-2-beating-yourself-up\">2. Beating Yourself Up<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Any kind of change comes with the danger that you\u2019ll <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-stop-beating-yourself-up\/\">beat yourself up<\/a> if things don\u2019t go smoothly or you slip up. But as we\u2019ve seen, harsh self-judgment is part of the anxiety loop, meaning that if you let it run free, you\u2019ll only create more anxiety for yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Plus, Brewer says that <strong>a negative attitude (frustration, pessimism, and so on) makes behavior change harder<\/strong>. If you tell yourself that <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/guide-to-changing-your-habits\/\">changing your habits<\/a> is impossible, you\u2019re less likely to succeed. If you tell yourself that change is painful, you\u2019re more likely to avoid <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-do-hard-work\/\">doing the work<\/a> (and more likely to revert to anxiety-related habits).&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>(Shortform note: Similarly, if you shame yourself for your anxious behaviors or for being anxious in the first place, you might not even try to change because you won\u2019t believe it\u2019s possible to do so. Likewise, as Bren\u00e9 Brown argues in <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/app\/book\/the-gifts-of-imperfection\/\"><em>The Gifts of Imperfection<\/em><\/a>, shame can make you feel like you <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/app\/book\/the-gifts-of-imperfection\/chapter-3\"><em>don\u2019t deserve<\/em><\/a> to do any better than you\u2019re doing.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>To rewrite self-critical attitudes, Brewer recommends learning to <strong>see apparent failures\u2014such as reverting to old, unwanted behavior\u2014as learning opportunities<\/strong>. In other words, even when you make a mistake, as long as you respond with curiosity (rather than frustration, self-recrimination, or similar), you can still keep moving forward. Brewer says if you approach habit change with this <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/learners-mindset\/\">learning mindset<\/a>, you\u2019re less likely to beat yourself up and more likely to stay positive even when things don\u2019t go perfectly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>How to Avoid Perfectionism<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>When attempting to get over anxiety\u2014or make any kind of behavioral change\u2014it\u2019s important to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-stop-being-a-perfectionist\/\">avoid perfectionism<\/a>. As Bren\u00e9 Brown points out, if you expect yourself to be perfect, you\u2019ll only undermine your efforts to change, because as soon as you make a mistake, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/app\/book\/the-gifts-of-imperfection\/chapters-5-6-11#the-dangers-of-perfectionism\">you\u2019ll conclude that it\u2019s because you weren\u2019t good enough<\/a>\u2014which only restarts <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-break-the-cycle-of-anxiety\/\">the cycle of anxiety<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When it comes to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/stop-trying-to-be-perfect\/\">avoiding perfectionism<\/a>, it might help to remember that failures often lead to creative insights and new ideas for solving problems. In fact, in <a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/designing-your-life\/\"><em>Designing Your Life<\/em><\/a>, Bill Burnett and Dave Evans recommend becoming <a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/designing-your-life\/chapter-10\">immune to failure<\/a>. Doing so doesn\u2019t mean not failing\u2014it means changing your attitude toward failure. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Burnett and Evans explain that if you build your life around curiosity and experimentation (as Brewer recommends), you\u2019ll experience more failures than if you played it safe and stayed on autopilot. Moreover, they point out that these failures are beneficial because they give you information and ideas that can fuel future successes.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>How hard is it to get over anxiety? What will get in your way if you seek treatment? Even if you fully buy into the goal of eliminating your anxiety, you might run into additional roadblocks. Dr. Judson Brewer&#8217;s book Unwinding Anxiety says that the two main roadblocks are overthinking and beating yourself up. Keep reading to learn why getting over anxiety isn&#8217;t as easy as many people think.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":14,"featured_media":30279,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[42,9,43],"tags":[709],"class_list":["post-74857","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-motivation","category-psychology","category-self-improvement","tag-unwinding-anxiety","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.3 (Yoast SEO v24.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>2 Common Roadblocks to Getting Over Anxiety - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Are you trying to get over anxiety? You&#039;ll have to face personal obstacles before you eliminate anxiety. 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