{"id":74694,"date":"2022-07-28T17:01:00","date_gmt":"2022-07-28T21:01:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=74694"},"modified":"2022-08-08T12:10:34","modified_gmt":"2022-08-08T16:10:34","slug":"why-do-we-lie-3","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/why-do-we-lie-3\/","title":{"rendered":"Why Do We Lie? How We Hide Our Motives"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/why-do-we-lie\/\">Why do we lie<\/a> about our motives? Why do we seek to deceive others and ourselves about the reasons for our behaviors?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>At first glance, the idea of hidden motives may seem convoluted. The answer, according to Kevin Simler and Robin Hanson, is that, as a cooperative social species, we evolved to advance our own interests while appearing as selfless as possible\u2014and it\u2019s easier to deceive others if we\u2019ve already deceived ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Let&#8217;s explore this theory about <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/why-do-we-lie-2\/\">why we tell lies<\/a> about our reasons for doing what we do.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-where-hidden-motives-come-from\"><strong>Where Hidden Motives Come From<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Why do we lie to ourselves and others about our motives? <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/norms-of-society\/\">Norms of society<\/a> evolved as a way to enforce pro-social behaviors such as cooperation, sharing, and non-violence. So, our selfish motivations are at odds with the norms that govern us. But, rather than making humans less inherently selfish, Simler and Hanson say that norms led humans to evolve ways to advance our selfish motivations while <em>appearing <\/em>to adhere to social standards. In other words, <strong>we\u2019ve developed a whole range of strategies for avoiding norm enforcement so that we can get away with \u201ccheating\u201d at our social games<\/strong>. These strategies include:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li><strong>Pretexts<\/strong>\u2014we give socially acceptable reasons for doing something that we\u2019re actually doing for <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/human-motives\/\">selfish reasons<\/a>. For example, \u201cconcern trolling\u201d is the practice of deliberately undermining another person or derailing a discussion under the guise of genuine interest and compassion (such as by criticizing someone\u2019s weight while saying you\u2019re only concerned about their health).&nbsp;<\/li><li><strong>Discretion<\/strong>\u2014we use code words, subtext, innuendo, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/body-language-crucial-conversations\/\">body language<\/a>, and so on to avoid openly stating our intentions. For example, some American conservatives adopted the phrase <a href=\"https:\/\/apnews.com\/article\/lets-go-brandon-what-does-it-mean-republicans-joe-biden-ab13db212067928455a3dba07756a160\">\u201cLet\u2019s Go Brandon\u201d<\/a> as a code for \u201cF**k Joe Biden,\u201d allowing them to say something that\u2019s not always acceptable to say in public <em>and<\/em> to signal in-group membership (because not everyone knows the reference).&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/li><li><strong>Toeing the line<\/strong>\u2014instead of violating norms outright, we test their boundaries in subtle and plausibly deniable ways. For example, the history of motor racing is full of examples of teams creatively interpreting regulations to gain advantages\u2014such as when some Formula 1 teams installed <a href=\"https:\/\/us.motorsport.com\/f1\/news\/banned-teams-cheated-minimum-weight-rules\/4791236\/\">\u201cwater-cooled brake systems\u201d<\/a> to get around minimum weight rules by jettisoning weight during the race then replacing it before post-race weigh-ins.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>Each of these strategies relies on deceiving other people\u2014the idea is that we can act selfishly and competitively while convincing everyone that our motives are pure and we\u2019re obeying <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/norms-of-society-2\/\">social norms<\/a>. But, according to Simler and Hanson, <strong>we often don\u2019t realize we\u2019re using these strategies<\/strong>\u2014because deception is easier to pull off when we believe our own lies, we evolved to deceive others and ourselves simultaneously.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>(Shortform note: Again, it\u2019s unclear just how unconscious many of these behaviors are. Authors from Niccolo Macchiavelli to Robert Greene have given advice for manipulating others to achieve your own ends using means that are often quite similar to the ones Simler and Hanson describe. For example, in <em>The <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/what-is-48-laws-of-power-about\/\">48 Laws of Power<\/a><\/em>, Greene describes tactics such as pretending to be a friend <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/app\/book\/the-48-laws-of-power\/law-14\">in order to spy on others<\/a> (in other words, using a pretext) and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/app\/book\/the-48-laws-of-power\/law-4\">saying little<\/a> in order to remain ambiguous (in other words, exercising discretion). <strong>Taming the elephant: <\/strong>If we\u2019re aware of these strategies, we can choose to behave more honestly (by following norms or by <em>openly <\/em>breaking them)\u2014or to improve our deceptions (for example, by implementing Greene\u2019s laws of power.)&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Simler and Hanson say that, in order to help us deceive ourselves as well as others, the human brain is made up of a number of self-contained modules, meaning that we can actually hide information (including our true motives) from ourselves. They argue that the brain has a \u201cpress secretary\u201d module that\u2019s in charge of explaining our actions to the outside world\u2014and to ourselves.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Like its real-life counterpart, our internal press secretary\u2019s job is to put the best possible spin on whatever we do. Likewise, our internal press secretary tends not to lie outright, but rather to tell <em>selective<\/em> truths while ignoring less attractive aspects of our behavior. For example, a politician might say he got into politics to serve the public good, which might be true. But what he\u2019d never admit to others\u2014and possibly to himself\u2014is that power and prestige also attracted him to public office. Simler and Hanson argue that this internal spin doctoring is so ingrained that we constantly fool ourselves. They point to studies showing that if we\u2019re tricked into an action or decision we didn\u2019t mean to take\u2014and if we don\u2019t notice the deception\u2014we\u2019ll explain and defend \u201cour\u201d choice without noticing anything wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-table\"><table><tbody><tr><td><strong>The Importance of Internalized Norms<\/strong><br><br>Self deception might be, as Simler and Hanson suggest, a strategic advantage when it comes to skirting norms. But there are also reasons to think that self deception serves a more fundamental purpose in allowing us to skirt norms in the first place.&nbsp;<br><br>According to philosopher Michel Foucault, when rules are enforced through constant observation, we internalize those rules and govern ourselves accordingly. In <a href=\"https:\/\/www.penguinrandomhouse.com\/books\/55026\/discipline-and-punish-by-michel-foucault-and-alan-sheridan\/\"><em>Discipline and Punish<\/em><\/a>, Foucault argues that modern social systems function like a panopticon\u2014a theoretical prison designed so that prisoners know they <em>might be <\/em>being watched at any given moment, but can\u2019t verify whether they are or not. In such a prison, Foucault says, inmates adhere to the code of conduct not because they\u2019re overtly forced to but because their perpetual one-sided visibleness conditions them to do so.&nbsp;<br><br>Recall that, like Foucault\u2019s metaphorical panopticon, our social games make it so that we\u2019re always watching and being watched by others. It seems likely then that a similar internalization happens with norms. If you\u2019re too loud in a library and your fellow patrons angrily shush you, you\u2019ll probably feel shame\u2014and this shame might well be enough for you to regulate your own library volume in the future.&nbsp;<br><br>Likewise, you probably wouldn\u2019t be openly rude to a colleague you dislike, not just because you fear retribution from the colleague or from your superiors, but also because for many of us it just <em>feels wrong <\/em>to insult people to their faces in a business setting. Even if our reason for \u201cbeing a good colleague\u201d is selfish\u2014for example, we don\u2019t want to hurt our chances of advancement\u2014the point is that we enforce the \u201cgood colleague\u201d norm all on our own.&nbsp;<br><br>And, if that\u2019s the case\u2014if we internalize norms to the point that we proactively police our own behavior\u2014then we might in fact <em>need <\/em>to deceive ourselves not just to help us deceive others, but in order to violate norms in the first place. In other words, when we give a disliked coworker a backhanded compliment instead of an open insult, we\u2019re not just looking for plausible deniability if our coworker gets upset\u2014we\u2019re looking for a way to get our true feelings past the conflict aversion and sense of decorum that serve as gatekeepers to our own actions.<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Why do we lie about our motives? Why do we seek to deceive others and ourselves about the reasons for our behaviors? At first glance, the idea of hidden motives may seem convoluted. The answer, according to Kevin Simler and Robin Hanson, is that, as a cooperative social species, we evolved to advance our own interests while appearing as selfless as possible\u2014and it\u2019s easier to deceive others if we\u2019ve already deceived ourselves. Let&#8217;s explore this theory about why we tell lies about our reasons for doing what we do.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9,"featured_media":74697,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[20,9,24],"tags":[708],"class_list":["post-74694","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-ethics","category-psychology","category-society","tag-the-elephant-in-the-brain","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.3 (Yoast SEO v24.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Why Do We Lie? How We Hide Our Motives - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Why do we lie to ourselves and others about the reasons for our behaviors? Discover how hidden motives feature prominently in our lives.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/why-do-we-lie-3\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Why Do We Lie? How We Hide Our Motives\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Why do we lie to ourselves and others about the reasons for our behaviors? Discover how hidden motives feature prominently in our lives.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/why-do-we-lie-3\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Shortform Books\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2022-07-28T21:01:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2022-08-08T16:10:34+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/s3.amazonaws.com\/wordpress.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/08\/woman-hiding-in-cupboard.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1200\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"679\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Elizabeth Whitworth\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Elizabeth Whitworth\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"6 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/why-do-we-lie-3\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/why-do-we-lie-3\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Elizabeth Whitworth\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/d2928cf6c11a69ced1491d6a5b74fb13\"},\"headline\":\"Why Do We Lie? 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