{"id":72343,"date":"2022-07-06T11:48:00","date_gmt":"2022-07-06T15:48:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=72343"},"modified":"2022-07-18T16:13:25","modified_gmt":"2022-07-18T20:13:25","slug":"how-to-mend-a-broken-relationship","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-mend-a-broken-relationship\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Mend a Broken Relationship in 3 Easy Steps"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Is your relationship broken? What steps should you take to fix your relationship problems<\/a>?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all have a deep-rooted need to be loved, but often a rift opens between our romantic partners and ourselves. In Getting the Love You Want<\/em>, Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt explain why this happens and how to rescue your failing relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Continue reading to learn how to mend a broken relationship in three ways.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

The Path to H<\/strong>ealing<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

To learn how to mend a broken relationship, the authors stress that each partner must feel emotionally safe<\/a>. You must learn to see each other as separate individuals, and then gradually change to become the person your partner needs you to be. In making this change, you\u2019ll eventually discover that you\u2019re healing yourself as well.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

To enable this to happen, Hendrix and Hunt devised a program of exercises around the core concepts of mirroring<\/em>, validation<\/em>, and empathy<\/em>. These exercises fall into three broad categories designed to create feelings of mutual safety, explore your childhood needs and frustrations, and guide you to making the hardest changes of all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

1. Create Safety for Growth<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Hendrix and Hunt insist that each partner must commit to the process and agree to remain a couple for at least three months.<\/strong> This creates a feeling of security for a partner who fears abandonment, while the time-limited nature of the commitment can be calming for a partner who feels trapped in an unhappy situation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The next step is for both of you to identify and limit the ways in which you \u201cescape\u201d from the relationship. This can be by working late, staying out with friends, or spending excessive time pursuing hobbies. It\u2019s also important to discuss the reasons and fears behind these escape routes, using the scripted conversation technique.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Finally, in order to return the relationship to a state that doesn\u2019t inspire the need to escape, it\u2019s vital for a couple to have fun again<\/strong>, and to act the way you once did when you first fell in love. This can be very hard for couples who have been at odds for years. Hendrix and Hunt provides specific exercises to identify ways each partner can show their love and engage in spontaneous fun.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. Learn Each Other\u2019s Truth<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Once a setting of safety has been established, it frees you to become open about your unmet needs. Part of this step in mending your broken relationship requires individual work that begins when you visualize your primary caregivers. This can be either parents, grandparents, or anyone else who was responsible for your upbringing<\/a>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n