{"id":72279,"date":"2022-07-10T17:39:00","date_gmt":"2022-07-10T21:39:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=72279"},"modified":"2022-07-19T10:28:10","modified_gmt":"2022-07-19T14:28:10","slug":"how-to-accept-things-as-they-are","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-accept-things-as-they-are\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Accept Things as They Are & Find Freedom"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Are you satisfied in life<\/a>, or do you wish things could be different? How important is it to accept circumstances as they are?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Naval Ravikant advocates the habit of acceptance. Acceptance is simply being content with a circumstance no matter what\u2014it\u2019s a kind of freedom. As he sees it, it\u2019s freedom from things like frustration, expectation, desire, and so on. Practicing acceptance will help you find contentment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Read more to learn Ravikant’s advice on how to accept things as they are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

Accepting Things as They Are<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

When you face circumstances that aren\u2019t what you want, Ravikant says you have three options: change<\/em> them, leave<\/em> them, or accept <\/em>them. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Trying to either change <\/em>or leave <\/em>your circumstances involves some kind of struggle\u2014it involves dissatisfaction: This is the opposite of happiness. It\u2019s far better to learn how to accept things as they are. This practice will help build happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

An example of how<\/em> to do this would be reframing a situation that annoys you\u2014someone cutting you off in traffic, for instance. Rather than fixating on the injustice of the act, consider reframing the situation: Think of how it gives you the opportunity to exercise your self-control or practice changing your perspective<\/a>. Instead of it being merely an inconvenience, consider it an opportunity for growth. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Acceptance and Cognitive Reframing<\/a><\/em><\/strong>

This practice of reframing is one strategy Ravikant suggests for learning how to accept your circumstances. In the field of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), this practice is known as cognitive reframing <\/em>or cognitive restructuring<\/em><\/a>. CBT therapists advise using this strategy for breaking negative thought patterns<\/a>. 

These experts note that it\u2019s common for people to distort<\/em> their view of their circumstances<\/a>\u2014to amplify negative feelings and jump to conclusions<\/a> about what others may be thinking, for instance. These modes of thinking<\/a> leave us feeling defeated and unhappy. Experts advise that a first step toward escaping these thoughts is to merely pay attention to the fact that they\u2019re happening: Once you\u2019re aware of these negative patterns, you can work on changing them.

As Ravikant suggests, by reframing our understanding of our circumstances, we can begin to train ourselves to avoid these mental distortions and see reality as it is. Experts find this makes it easier for us to accept our circumstances<\/a>.  <\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n\n\n\n
Freedom From <\/em>vs. Freedom To<\/em><\/strong>

Ravikant distinguishes between freedom from <\/em>obstacles (negative<\/em> freedom) and freedom to<\/em> do what he wishes (positive<\/em> freedom). This distinction isn\u2019t original to him\u2014it has a long history going back, by some accounts, to the 18th-century philosopher Immanuel Kant<\/a> and was broadly used by many thinkers throughout the 20th century<\/a>.

For instance, psychoanalyst Erich Fromm argued that negative freedom on its own inevitably leads to feelings of isolation and meaninglessness<\/a>. He believed that positive freedom, by contrast, facilitates a sense of meaning and connectedness to others. 

Ravikant uses the idea of positive and negative freedom slightly differently and prioritizes negative freedom over positive freedom. This emphasis stems from his self-professed Buddhist leanings<\/a>. Buddhism teaches that desire is the source of suffering<\/a>; therefore, being free from<\/em> desire enables you to be free from suffering. This is the way Ravikant uses the idea of negative freedom: For him, the desire <\/em>to change your circumstances is the opposite of happiness because it\u2019s caused by feeling unsatisfied. <\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Are you satisfied in life, or do you wish things could be different? How important is it to accept circumstances as they are? Naval Ravikant advocates the habit of acceptance. Acceptance is simply being content with a circumstance no matter what\u2014it\u2019s a kind of freedom. As he sees it, it\u2019s freedom from things like frustration, expectation, desire, and so on. Practicing acceptance will help you find contentment. Read more to learn Ravikant’s advice on how to accept things as they are.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9,"featured_media":72282,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[9,43],"tags":[684],"class_list":["post-72279","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-psychology","category-self-improvement","tag-the-almanack-of-naval-ravikant","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"\nHow to Accept Things as They Are & Find Freedom - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Dissatisfaction is the opposite of joy. It\u2019s better to learn how to accept things as they are. 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