{"id":72245,"date":"2022-07-10T15:06:00","date_gmt":"2022-07-10T19:06:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=72245"},"modified":"2022-07-18T12:01:15","modified_gmt":"2022-07-18T16:01:15","slug":"holding-yourself-accountable","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/holding-yourself-accountable\/","title":{"rendered":"Holding Yourself Accountable &#038; Avoiding Gap-Thinking"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>What&#8217;s Gap-thinking? How can you get out of it and stay out of it? What does it have to do with <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/self-accountability\/\">self-accountability<\/a>?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Gap-thinking is comparing <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/your-genius\/\">who you are<\/a> now to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-become-the-person-you-want-to-be-2\/\">who you want to be<\/a>. According to the book <em>The Gap and the Gain<\/em>, this is a recipe for unhappiness. Authors Dan Sullivan and Benjamin Hardy argue that you should shift to Gain-thinking, which is comparing who you are now to who you used to be. They believe that <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/hold-yourself-accountable\/\">holding yourself accountable<\/a> is a key to getting out of\u2014and staying out of\u2014Gap-thinking.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Keep reading to learn how powerful holding yourself accountable can be when it comes to your <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/happiness-and-success\/\">success and happiness<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-holding-yourself-accountable\">Holding Yourself Accountable<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>The authors recommend holding yourself accountable as a means of avoiding Gap-thinking. To get yourself out of Gap-thinking, you must first be self-aware enough to realize that you are there in the first place. <strong><em>Call yourself out <\/em>as soon as you realize you\u2019re falling into Gap-thinking.<\/strong> Don\u2019t let yourself stay in this mindset for longer than five minutes. Once your time is up, spend the next few minutes mentally transforming the experience into a gain by contemplating what you\u2019ve learned from it.<strong> <\/strong>Then, <em>move on<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-table\"><table><tbody><tr><td><strong>How to Move On<\/strong><br><br>Psychologist Tara Brach suggests using the meditative practice of <a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/radical-acceptance\">Radical Acceptance<\/a> to \u201cmove on\u201d from thinking about negative past experiences. <a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/radical-acceptance\/chapter-2#two-aspects-of-radical-acceptance\">There are two equally necessary steps to this practice<\/a>: The first is self-awareness. As the authors suggest here, self-awareness is the first step in healing from the past. You should <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/self-observation\/\">observe your thoughts<\/a> and emotions rather than trying to avoid them or block them out.&nbsp;<br><br>The second step is to have empathy for yourself as you observe these <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/thoughts-feelings-and-behaviors\/\">thoughts and feelings<\/a>. Reacting with judgment puts you in the Gap because you\u2019re fixated on how you don\u2019t measure up to your ideal self. Reacting with compassion expands your ability to think positively about the event, which helps to transform it into a Gain.<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>Hardy and Sullivan also suggest explaining to those around you what Gap- and Gain-thinking are and then <strong>encouraging them to call you out for Gap-thinking. <\/strong>Find someone to be your success partner. Tell this person about the gains you\u2019ve made today and the gains you want to make tomorrow.<strong> Reporting your progress to someone else is an effective way to improve and accelerate your performance.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>(Shortform note: For accountability to work, you must create <em>significant consequences<\/em> for your behaviors that don\u2019t align with your goals. <strong>These consequences have to be just as (if not more) potent than the benefits you gain from these behaviors.<\/strong> This is why success partners are effective\u2014our <a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/atomic-habits\/chapter-7#making-bad-habits-unsatisfying\">desire for respect and approval from other people<\/a> is a powerful motivator that usually outweighs the benefits of giving in to problematic behaviors.)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>What&#8217;s Gap-thinking? How can you get out of it and stay out of it? What does it have to do with self-accountability? Gap-thinking is comparing who you are now to who you want to be. According to the book The Gap and the Gain, this is a recipe for unhappiness. Authors Dan Sullivan and Benjamin Hardy argue that you should shift to Gain-thinking, which is comparing who you are now to who you used to be. They believe that holding yourself accountable is a key to getting out of\u2014and staying out of\u2014Gap-thinking. Keep reading to learn how powerful holding yourself<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9,"featured_media":72248,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[42,43],"tags":[683],"class_list":["post-72245","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-motivation","category-self-improvement","tag-the-gap-and-the-gain","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.3 (Yoast SEO v24.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Holding Yourself Accountable &amp; Avoiding Gap-Thinking - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Holding yourself accountable is a key to getting out of Gap-thinking. 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