{"id":71322,"date":"2022-07-06T16:14:00","date_gmt":"2022-07-06T20:14:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=71322"},"modified":"2022-07-13T15:57:02","modified_gmt":"2022-07-13T19:57:02","slug":"effective-listening-skills","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/effective-listening-skills\/","title":{"rendered":"Effective Listening: A Vital Skill for Life"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Are you a good listener? Why is listening more important than talking? <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>People want to be heard. We want to feel like someone cares about what we have to say. Therefore, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/effective-listening\/\">effective listening<\/a> is a skill that&#8217;s vital for both business and life. Not only does it help us understand the other person better, but it helps them understand us better as well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Here&#8217;s <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-listen-crucial-conversations\/\">how to listen well<\/a>, according to communication expert Jay Sullivan.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-jay-sullivan-how-to-listen-effectively\">Jay Sullivan: <strong>How to Listen <\/strong>Effectively<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Effective listening skills enable you to understand the other person and gain their trust and respect. Jay Sullivan, the author of <em>Simply Said<\/em>, recommends that you treat a conversation not as an opportunity to grandstand but as a chance to learn more about the other person\u2019s needs. For example, if you\u2019re in a client meeting, keep asking questions until you uncover useful information.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The type of questions you ask will depend on your objective:&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li><strong>Ask closed questions<\/strong> if you need specific information from the other person\u2014for example, \u201cCan you complete this by 4 p.m. on Thursday?\u201d&nbsp;<\/li><li><strong>Ask open-ended questions <\/strong>if you want a deeper, nuanced response\u2014for example, \u201cWhy do you think that is?\u201d It\u2019s also a good opportunity to show the other person that you\u2019re there for them by asking questions like \u201cWhat can I do to help?\u201d<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>(Shortform note: Keep in mind that you may have to read between the lines when it comes to their answers\u2014<a href=\"https:\/\/www.dummies.com\/article\/business-careers-money\/business\/sales\/how-to-tune-in-to-a-customers-contextual-clues-197778\/\">people tend to respond differently based on their status<\/a> or level of power in relation to yours. Culture also plays a part: For example, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/app\/book\/the-culture-map\/chapter-7\">Asian cultures tend to be disagreement-avoidant<\/a> because they believe that disagreeing can damage relationships.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If you\u2019re unsure about what the other person is trying to say, clarify using three steps:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>Step 1: Start with an introductory phrase (\u201cIf I understood it correctly\u2026\u201d).<\/li><li>Step 2: Restate what they said. You can use the exact words they used or, if they didn\u2019t say it clearly, rephrase it to reflect their message.<\/li><li>Step 3: End with a question to confirm your understanding (\u201cDid I get that right?\u201d).<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-table\"><table><tbody><tr><td><strong>Listening to People From High-Context Cultures<\/strong><br><br>Sullivan writes that part of listening is asking questions to clarify what the other person said. <a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/the-culture-map\/chapter-1#high-context-cultures\">This is especially important in what Erin Meyer calls \u201chigh-context\u201d cultures<\/a> like Japan: In <a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/the-culture-map\"><em>The Culture Map<\/em><\/a>, she describes a high-context culture as one where communication doesn\u2019t occur at face value. Both speaker and listener assume that not all relevant information has been clearly stated, so you have to read between the lines. (In contrast, <a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/the-culture-map\/chapter-1#low-context-cultures\">the US is a \u201clow-context\u201d culture<\/a>, where people communicate in a straightforward manner.)<br><br><a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/the-culture-map\/chapter-1#when-the-person-is-from-a-higher-context-culture-than-yours\">When conversing with someone from a higher-context culture than yours<\/a>, Meyer recommends that you:Listen closely for subtext, and keep asking questions until you understand their exact message.Take some cues from their <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/body-language-crucial-conversations\/\">body language<\/a> (though <a href=\"https:\/\/virtualspeech.com\/blog\/cultural-differences-in-body-language\">body language would also depend on culture<\/a>.)&nbsp;Adjust your mindset. If you\u2019re used to a low-context culture, someone from a high-context culture might seem like a bad communicator. Keep in mind that their communication style works for <em>their<\/em> culture.When taking notes, explain that it\u2019s a cultural difference\u2014those from high-context cultures might see note-taking as a sign of distrust.<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Are you a good listener? Why is listening more important than talking? People want to be heard. We want to feel like someone cares about what we have to say. Therefore, effective listening is a skill that&#8217;s vital for both business and life. Not only does it help us understand the other person better, but it helps them understand us better as well. Here&#8217;s how to listen well, according to communication expert Jay Sullivan.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":8136,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[45,34,12],"tags":[670],"class_list":["post-71322","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-business","category-communication","category-relationships","tag-simply-said","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.3 (Yoast SEO v24.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Effective Listening: A Vital Skill for Life - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Effective listening is a vital skill for both business and life. 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Here&#039;s how to listen well, according to communication expert Jay Sullivan.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/effective-listening-skills\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Shortform Books\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2022-07-06T20:14:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2022-07-13T19:57:02+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/s3.amazonaws.com\/wordpress.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/communication-7-habits-scaled.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"2560\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"1703\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Darya Sinusoid\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Darya Sinusoid\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/effective-listening-skills\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/effective-listening-skills\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Darya Sinusoid\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/0421cce75bc249b11e2517b3a91f9c46\"},\"headline\":\"Effective Listening: A Vital Skill for Life\",\"datePublished\":\"2022-07-06T20:14:00+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2022-07-13T19:57:02+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/effective-listening-skills\/\"},\"wordCount\":553,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/effective-listening-skills\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/communication-7-habits-scaled.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"Simply Said\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Business\",\"Communication\",\"Relationships\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/effective-listening-skills\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/effective-listening-skills\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/effective-listening-skills\/\",\"name\":\"Effective Listening: A Vital Skill for Life - Shortform Books\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/effective-listening-skills\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/effective-listening-skills\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/communication-7-habits-scaled.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2022-07-06T20:14:00+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2022-07-13T19:57:02+00:00\",\"description\":\"Effective listening is a vital skill for both business and life. 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