{"id":71,"date":"2025-12-31T19:18:41","date_gmt":"2025-12-31T23:18:41","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=71"},"modified":"2026-01-01T21:18:45","modified_gmt":"2026-01-02T01:18:45","slug":"dont-make-assumptions-third-agreement-of-four-agreements-by-don-ruiz","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/dont-make-assumptions-third-agreement-of-four-agreements-by-don-ruiz\/","title":{"rendered":"The Third Agreement: Don’t Make Assumptions"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

\u201cDon\u2019t make assumptions.\u201d The third agreement from Don Miguel Ruiz\u2019s The Four Agreements<\/a><\/em> is simple yet transformative. We\u2019ve all heard the old clich\u00e9 that the word “assume” makes an \u201cass\u201d out of \u201cu\u201d and \u201cme.\u201d Ruiz takes this idea and applies a spiritual and psychological lens to it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Making assumptions is dangerous because we often have no idea what’s actually happening in a given situation. We fill in the gaps in our knowledge with imagination, convince ourselves our “truth” is reality, and then act on those mistakes\u2014leading to unnecessary suffering. Read on to learn why we make assumptions<\/a> and how to master the third agreement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

Originally Published: June 18, 2019<\/em>
Last Updated: December 31, 2025<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why We Make Assumptions (And Why It\u2019s Dangerous)<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Making assumptions comes naturally to us. We are often impressed by our own “insight,” but Ruiz warns that this is often the Mitote<\/em>\u2014the chaos of the mind\u2014at work. He offers the third agreement (“Don’t make assumptions”), warning that assumptions follow a predictable, destructive cycle:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \n
  1. The assumption:<\/strong> We create a story<\/a> to fill an information gap.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  2. The misunderstanding:<\/strong> We misinterpret someone\u2019s words or actions.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  3. Taking it personally:<\/strong> We get offended (linking to the second agreement<\/a>).<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  4. Reaction:<\/strong> We lash back or gossip to defend ourselves.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  5. Drama:<\/strong> A small spark turns into a forest fire of conflict.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n

    The “Universal Perspective” Fallacy<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

    The biggest assumption we make is thinking everyone sees life exactly as we do. We assume others judge, think, and feel the way we do. In reality, everyone perceives the world through a unique lens. Without clear communication, these different “realities” are bound to collide.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Assumptions in Relationships and Daily Life<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

    Assumptions act as blinders, especially in our closest relationships. We often see what we want to see rather than what is actually there.<\/p>\n\n\n\n