{"id":68681,"date":"2022-06-17T15:45:29","date_gmt":"2022-06-17T19:45:29","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=68681"},"modified":"2025-10-03T11:48:20","modified_gmt":"2025-10-03T15:48:20","slug":"causes-of-chronic-stress","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/causes-of-chronic-stress\/","title":{"rendered":"The Causes of Chronic Stress: It Starts in Childhood"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

What are the main causes of chronic stress<\/a>? How can childhood stress lead to diseases later in life? Does personality play a role in development of physical disease?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In his book When the Body Says No, <\/em>Dr. Gabor Mat\u00e9 says that there is a link between chronic stress and physical illness. According to Mat\u00e9, chronic stress often stems from childhood, meaning that one’s parental nurturing, childhood development, and even personality may contribute to development of certain illnesses later in life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Learn about the ultimate cause of chronic stress, according to Dr. Gabor Mat\u00e9.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

Editor\u2019s note: This article is part of\u00a0Shortform\u2019s guide to stress<\/a>. If you like what you read here, there\u2019s plenty more to check out in the guide!<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ultimate Causes of Disease<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Considering the links that have been observed between some diseases and stress, personality, and life experiences, Mat\u00e9 argues that there are clearly contributing causes beyond the biological. He says that doctors often look primarily for \u201cproximate\u201d causes but fail to look for \u201cultimate\u201d causes. Proximate causes include the immediate observable causes, while ultimate causes are the bigger-picture explanations<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In his book, Mat\u00e9 is looking for the ultimate cause of disease in the psychology of the human host. In this article, we\u2019ll look at the childhood causes of chronic stress.<\/strong> You\u2019ll learn what kinds of parent-child relationships contribute to these experiences in children, and how modern society creates the conditions for these parenting patterns. You\u2019ll also see why Mat\u00e9 says that nobody is to blame<\/em> for this, so assigning blame<\/a> is meaningless.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Integration of Traditional and Modern Medicine<\/strong>

Anthropologist Hank Wesselman says that within shamanic traditions, physical illnesses are the effects<\/em> of disease, while \u201cthe ultimate causes<\/em> of virtually all illnesses are to be found within the imaginal realm<\/a>.\u201d Thus, treating illness with medications only simply alleviates symptoms without addressing the cause. He identifies three causes of illness, from the traditional shamanic perspective:

– Disharmony: <\/strong>This is when a person finds themself in a state where they have lost some amount of purpose, meaning, or connection in life. For example, when a person loses a loved one or has a dysfunctional relationship.

– Fear: <\/strong>living with chronic anxiety

– Soul Loss:<\/strong> This is considered the most serious diagnosis, and is what we might think of as severe depression resulting from trauma. When a person has essentially lost the will to live, traditional cultures would say that they\u2019ve \u201clost their soul.\u201d

Considering this traditional view in light of the research we now have on the stress-disease connection, we can see why some Western medical practitioners, including Gabor Mat\u00e9, are beginning to see the importance of learning from indigenous cultures and integrating traditional and modern medicine for a more holistic approach to healing<\/a>.  <\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Self vs. Other: Differentiation<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

One of the areas where childhood development can go awry is in the process of differentiation<\/em>. Mat\u00e9 explains that humans are naturally meant to develop from a state of total dependence<\/a> toward an interdependent independence<\/em>\u2014meaning we should develop our own sense of self as separate from others and be able to self-regulate our emotions, but also have interdependent supportive relationships<\/a>. Any dysfunction in the parent-child relationship, Mat\u00e9 says, can cause problems with the internal processes that regulate the child\u2019s survival mechanism. This can result in the individual staying too dependent<\/em> on others and not learning to self-regulate, or becoming too independent<\/em> and not developing supportive relationships. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Shortform note: Hyper-independence may be encouraged in particularly individualistic cultures<\/em><\/a>. This means that if a dysfunctional parent-child relationship results in poor individuation, a child\u2019s tendency to overcompensate with hyper-independence may be consistently rewarded throughout their life in such a culture. In a collectivist<\/a> culture, since hyper-independent behavior is frowned upon, such a person may tend more toward hyper-reliance on others, or \u201clearned helplessness.\u201d)  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Parental Nurturing<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Another dynamic that can cause stress-related developmental problems in children is the amount of nurturing affection given by the parent to the child. Mat\u00e9 says that in addition to feeling safe as children, we also need to feel loved. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mat\u00e9 explains that almost 90% of brain development takes place in the first few years of a child\u2019s life<\/strong>, and this development is a product of inherited genetic factors and environmental conditions. He says that loving emotional interaction with a parent, or the lack thereof, affects the release of hormones, and the amount and balance of those hormones affect brain development. When a child\u2019s brain is not getting consistent messages of love and nurturing, it develops in such a way that<\/strong> <\/em><\/strong>it can\u2019t correctly distinguish between threats and non-threats.<\/strong> This is why physical touch by the mother is important for proper development in all mammals and crucial for humans to be able to develop healthy relationships<\/a>. Research on premature babies, Mat\u00e9 says, shows how powerfully affectionate touch impacts development.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Effects of Early Child Psychology<\/strong>

Perhaps one of the most destructive trends in causing an intergenerational dysfunction in child-parent bonding was the child psychology advice that became prominent in the late 19th and early 20th centuries<\/a>. A number of pioneers in the field believed that mothers shouldn\u2019t show affection to infants, that babies\u2019 cries should be ignored, that they shouldn\u2019t be held, and that corporal punishment was necessary for raising well-behaved children. 

American behavioral psychologist John B. Watson wrote a book called Psychological Care of Infant and Child<\/em> in 1928, in which he called motherly love \u201ca dangerous instrument\u201d that would result in disastrous effects on children and on their life chances in adulthood. He advocated for never kissing, hugging, or giving any affectionate touch to children. 

Although contemporary psychologists consider this advice to be patently wrong, its widespread influence (coming from \u201cexperts\u201d in the field) may have had devastating effects on American and European cultures that continue to be unconsciously passed down through the generations in parenting patterns today.<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Mat\u00e9 points out here that it\u2019s not only abuse and trauma that cause stress-related illness\u2014 some people have the same stress problem not because of what was done to<\/em> them, but because of what was withheld<\/em> from<\/em> them. Children don\u2019t just need physical touch, affection, and safety; they also need \u201cattunement,\u201d which means a parent being \u201ctuned in\u201d to the child\u2019s needs. Even parents who really love their children, and whose children know they\u2019re loved, are sometimes lacking attunement, Mat\u00e9 says. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Attunement Is Emotional and Physiological<\/strong>

The Body Keeps the Score<\/em><\/a> gives further insight into the issue of attunement. In this book, Bessel van der Kolk explains that when a baby\u2019s needs and distress are consistently attended to and soothed by a caregiver, they grow to understand that they\u2019re in a relatively safe world where threats can be resolved, and they\u2019ll ultimately learn to resolve those situations for themselves. Children who are neglected, however, will be unable to effectively manage their own distress throughout life and will become adults who become overwhelmed and give up in the face of difficulty. 
 
He also says that attunement has both an emotional and a physical component<\/a>. When the parent is emotionally attuned and physically present, the child\u2019s distress can be soothed by the calm physical presence of the parent, and their own bodies will respond physiologically with lowering stress hormone<\/a> levels, slowing the heart rate, and calming the breath. <\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Personality vs. Positionality<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Beyond early childhood development dynamics, there are also situational factors in families and societies that can lead to individuals adopting certain personality characteristics that are correlated with chronic stress. We\u2019ve seen that some personality traits do<\/em> contribute to greater stress. But Mat\u00e9 explains that these personality traits aren\u2019t simply individual attributes; they are a result of larger family dynamics\u2013our \u201cposition\u201d in a multigenerational family\u2013and those families are positioned within a culture and society.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mat\u00e9 points out that changes in social structure due to modernity have destroyed much of the foundational social connections humans evolved with.<\/strong> Previous humans lived in extended families and communities with multiple nurturing adults caring for children. Now, he says, with nuclear families and the socioeconomic structure (particularly in capitalist societies<\/a>), parents have to work while children are put into daycare and schools separated from extended family. Hence, many of the diseases discussed here, Mat\u00e9 says, are products of more recent civilization.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Diseases of Modernity<\/strong>

Sociologist David Matthews analyzes the relationship between modern capitalism and mental health<\/a>, noting that among monopoly-capitalist nations today, \u201cmental-health disorders are the leading cause of life expectancy decline behind cardiovascular disease and cancer.\u201d He points out that such nations also tend to take a purely biomedical approach to mental illness, such as the \u201cchemical imbalance\u201d theory often espoused in psychiatry. However, this approach doesn\u2019t consider the way the modern lifestyle<\/em> affects mental health. 

As underlying causes of mental health decline, he points to such cultural norms as: emphasis on materialism, high degree of social inequality and oppression, social alienation<\/a> and loneliness, overemphasis on work and repression of creativity, and denial of our innate human natures.<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Removing Blame<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

In light of the strong connection between parenting dynamics, personality traits, and chronic stress, we might naturally conclude that parents are to blame for their children\u2019s illness. Mat\u00e9 also points out that he has received criticism for his theories based on the accusation that pointing out the connection between individuals\u2019 personality traits and their disease is \u201cblaming the victim.\u201d However, Mat\u00e9 says recognizing that illness may be caused in part by a person\u2019s psychological state, personality traits, or environment is not<\/em> \u201cblaming the victim.\u201d Rather, he says pointing out that the person may actually be able to do something about it empowers<\/em> them to take responsibility<\/a> for their own health. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Additionally, Mat\u00e9 says that there is no call for blaming our parents, or for blaming ourselves for our children\u2019s illnesses. After all, the parent\u2019s brain developed in response to their own childhood relationship with <\/strong>their<\/em><\/strong> parents. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

From Victimhood to Empowerment<\/strong>

Psychologists point out that it\u2019s important for victims of trauma and abuse to reframe their experience from one of victimhood to one of empowerment<\/a>. This involves confronting the struggles with self-esteem and helplessness they\u2019ve acquired as victims, and learning to believe they have the ability to determine what happens to them in the future. One approach to this is logotherapy<\/em>, developed by Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl.<\/a> Logotherapy involves helping the trauma survivor find a new sense of meaning and purpose in life<\/a> using the Socratic method of philosophical inquiry. Through a series of questions, the patient is able to reimagine their life\u2019s purpose in a way that empowers them to move beyond the trauma.<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

What are the main causes of chronic stress? How can childhood stress lead to diseases later in life? Does personality play a role in development of physical disease? In his book When the Body Says No, Dr. Gabor Mat\u00e9 says that there is a link between chronic stress and physical illness. According to Mat\u00e9, chronic stress often stems from childhood, meaning that one’s parental nurturing, childhood development, and even personality may contribute to development of certain illnesses later in life. Learn about the ultimate cause of chronic stress, according to Dr. Gabor Mat\u00e9.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":68735,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[16,13,9],"tags":[641],"class_list":["post-68681","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-health","category-parenting","category-psychology","tag-when-the-body-says-no","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"\nThe Causes of Chronic Stress: It Starts in Childhood - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Chronic stress can have serious physical effects on the body. 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