{"id":68626,"date":"2022-06-09T09:23:00","date_gmt":"2022-06-09T13:23:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=68626"},"modified":"2022-06-16T09:35:37","modified_gmt":"2022-06-16T13:35:37","slug":"brene-brown-empathy-vs-sympathy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/brene-brown-empathy-vs-sympathy\/","title":{"rendered":"Bren\u00e9 Brown: Empathy vs. Sympathy"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>What is the difference between empathy and sympathy? Can you feel empathy and sympathy at the same time? <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>According to Bren\u00e9 Brown, empathy vs. sympathy is an important distinction. Empathy is the ability to relate to how the other person feels, while sympathy is feeling bad for them, but failing to relate to them emotionally. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Keep reading to learn about the difference between empathy vs. sympathy, according to Bren\u00e9 Brown.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-empathy-versus-sympathy\"><strong>Empathy<\/strong> Versus Sympathy<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>According to Bren\u00e9 Brown, empathy vs. sympathy are &#8220;near enemies&#8221;<strong>:<\/strong> they look the same, but there\u2019s no <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/sense-of-connectedness\/\">sense of connection<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Brown says that <em>empathy<\/em> is the ability to understand and echo what someone else feels. <\/strong>However,<strong> <\/strong>note that empathy doesn\u2019t mean imagining yourself in someone else\u2019s place, or \u201cwalking a mile in his shoes,\u201d as the old saying goes\u2014trying to do so will cause you to bring your own biases and experiences to the situation. Rather, it means that you understand and accept the other person\u2019s feelings, even if they might not be the same feelings you\u2019d have in his place.&nbsp;Brown adds that <em>compassion<\/em> is empathy plus action:<strong> <\/strong>It\u2019s the practice of relating to others and, as a result, acting to ease their suffering.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>(Shortform note: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.etymonline.com\/word\/compassion\">Compassion<\/a> and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.etymonline.com\/word\/empathy\">empathy<\/a> both literally mean \u201csuffering with.\u201d It\u2019s unclear exactly when or how compassion became associated with action, but <a href=\"https:\/\/greatergood.berkeley.edu\/topic\/compassion\/definition\">many other<\/a> writers <a href=\"https:\/\/www.betterup.com\/blog\/compassion-vs-empathy\">agree with Brown<\/a> about this distinction. Some add that, because it involves action, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.forbes.com\/sites\/rasmushougaard\/2020\/07\/08\/four-reasons-why-compassion-is-better-for-humanity-than-empathy\">compassion is preferable to empathy<\/a>.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Brown says that <em>sympathy <\/em>is the near enemy of empathy. <\/strong>Just the opposite, in fact\u2014sympathy draws a clear line between the person suffering and ourselves. In other words, sympathy is feeling bad for someone, but being unable (or unwilling) to relate to that person.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The author adds that <em>pity<\/em> is sympathy with a sense of hierarchy: We don\u2019t just feel bad for the person suffering, we feel like he or she is somehow \u201cless than\u201d we are. For instance, drug addicts are common subjects of pity\u2014people often feel bad for them, but also consider them distasteful or dangerous, and they may even blame the addicts for their own situations.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>(Shortform note: Another way to recognize sympathy and pity is that they\u2019re inactive states. In other words, we feel like we\u2019re either <a href=\"https:\/\/www.psychologytoday.com\/us\/blog\/in-the-name-love\/201008\/do-not-pity-me\">not able or not obligated to help people<\/a> whom we feel pity for. For example, if you encountered a drug addict on the street, you could theoretically pay for treatment to help him get better. However, that would require significant sacrifice on your part\u2014sacrifice that you\u2019re likely unable or unwilling to make for a stranger. In short, if you feel a genuine connection and desire to help, then you\u2019re experiencing compassion born from empathy; if you just \u201cfeel bad\u201d for someone and don\u2019t feel a strong desire to act, then you\u2019re experiencing pity born from sympathy.)&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Pity involves <em>comparison<\/em>:<em> <\/em>evaluating or ranking ourselves in relation to others.<strong> <\/strong>Those self-assigned \u201cranks\u201d can affect everything from how we speak to others to how we feel about ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Brown notes a common misconception about comparisons: Thinking that others are \u201cabove\u201d us makes us feel bad, while thinking others are \u201cbelow\u201d us makes us feel good. In fact, either type of comparison can cause positive or negative emotions. For instance, thinking that someone is stronger, smarter, or more skilled than you could be disheartening, but it could also inspire you to try to reach his or her level. Similarly, thinking that others are worse than you in some way might feed <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/your-ego\/\">your ego<\/a>, or it might frustrate you that they don\u2019t live up to your standards.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>(Shortform note: Comparison is pervasive and powerful because, as Richard Dawkins explains in <a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/the-selfish-gene\"><em>The Selfish Gene<\/em><\/a>, <a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/the-selfish-gene\/chapter-5\">competition is hardwired into our biology<\/a>. Every living organism competes with others: They compete for resources, territory, mates, and so on. Those competitions often involve comparing themselves to each other in some way other than actually fighting. Therefore, they instinctively compare their sizes, weights, and social standings; they might also posture and make threatening displays. Whatever the method, the result is that both competitors know where they stand in relation to each other. That drive for comparison and competition is still inside each of us today.)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>What is the difference between empathy and sympathy? Can you feel empathy and sympathy at the same time? According to Bren\u00e9 Brown, empathy vs. sympathy is an important distinction. Empathy is the ability to relate to how the other person feels, while sympathy is feeling bad for them, but failing to relate to them emotionally. Keep reading to learn about the difference between empathy vs. sympathy, according to Bren\u00e9 Brown.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":68780,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[9,12,6],"tags":[640],"class_list":["post-68626","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-psychology","category-relationships","category-spiritual","tag-atlas-of-the-heart","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.3 (Yoast SEO v24.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Bren\u00e9 Brown: Empathy vs. Sympathy - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Empathy vs. sympathy is an important distinction. 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Here&#039;s how Bren\u00e9 Brown defines the difference between empathy and sympathy.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/brene-brown-empathy-vs-sympathy\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Shortform Books\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2022-06-09T13:23:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2022-06-16T13:35:37+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/s3.amazonaws.com\/wordpress.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/06\/support-friends.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1167\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"723\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Darya Sinusoid\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Darya Sinusoid\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"4 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/brene-brown-empathy-vs-sympathy\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/brene-brown-empathy-vs-sympathy\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Darya Sinusoid\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/0421cce75bc249b11e2517b3a91f9c46\"},\"headline\":\"Bren\u00e9 Brown: Empathy vs. Sympathy\",\"datePublished\":\"2022-06-09T13:23:00+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2022-06-16T13:35:37+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/brene-brown-empathy-vs-sympathy\/\"},\"wordCount\":726,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/brene-brown-empathy-vs-sympathy\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/06\/support-friends.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"Atlas of the Heart\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Psychology\",\"Relationships\",\"Spiritual\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/brene-brown-empathy-vs-sympathy\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/brene-brown-empathy-vs-sympathy\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/brene-brown-empathy-vs-sympathy\/\",\"name\":\"Bren\u00e9 Brown: Empathy vs. Sympathy - Shortform Books\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/brene-brown-empathy-vs-sympathy\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/brene-brown-empathy-vs-sympathy\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/06\/support-friends.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2022-06-09T13:23:00+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2022-06-16T13:35:37+00:00\",\"description\":\"Empathy vs. sympathy is an important distinction. 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