{"id":68623,"date":"2022-06-06T06:21:00","date_gmt":"2022-06-06T10:21:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=68623"},"modified":"2022-06-16T09:35:42","modified_gmt":"2022-06-16T13:35:42","slug":"how-to-deal-with-negative-emotions","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-deal-with-negative-emotions\/","title":{"rendered":"Bren\u00e9 Brown: How to Deal With Negative Emotions"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Do your emotions often get out of hand? How can you channel your negative emotions into more constructive ends?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>According to Bren\u00e9 Brown, emotions are a powerful force of love and connection when used correctly and channeled into positive actions. Used improperly, they cut us off from each other, leaving us divided and hateful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Here&#8217;s <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-deal-with-negative-emotions-practice-gratitude\/\">how to deal with negative emotions<\/a>, according to Bren\u00e9 Brown.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-dealing-with-negative-emotions-anger-and-disgust\">Dealing With Negative Emotions: Anger and Disgust<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Our emotions don\u2019t just give us feedback about our own lives, they also provide valuable guidance in social situations. We have to understand what negative emotions are trying to tell us and recognize when those messages are misguided.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The most basic negative emotions are anger and disgust. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong><em>Anger <\/em><\/strong><strong>is what we feel when something gets in the way of what we want or disrupts the way we think things are supposed to be.<\/strong> Brown says that anger is a highly active state\u2014it makes us want to lash out, fix the perceived problem, and hurt whatever (or whoever) caused it.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong><em>Disgust <\/em><\/strong><strong>is a strong aversion to something or someone. <\/strong>Brown believes that disgust stems from wanting to protect ourselves from toxic substances, but that <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/protective-instinct\/\">protective instinct<\/a> has somehow extended to protecting ourselves from \u201ctoxic\u201d people and ideas.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The author adds that the combination of anger and disgust is <em>contempt<\/em>. Contempt is usually directed toward people, and it\u2019s the belief that not only has a person done something wrong, but that he or she has some deep, fundamental flaw. In other words, contempt doesn\u2019t just say, \u201cYou did a bad thing\u201d; it says, \u201cYou\u2019re a bad person, and I\u2019m better than you.\u201d&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Finally, <strong><em>hate <\/em>is a powerful combination of contempt and fear reserved for those we believe are truly evil. <\/strong>We believe that those we hate are not just bad people, but also <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-tell-if-someone-is-dangerous\/\">dangerous people<\/a> who need to be destroyed.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-how-to-positively-use-negative-emotions\"><strong>How to Positively Use Negative Emotions<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Many of us try to ignore our negative feelings or push them away, especially when they relate to others; we try to be patient, tolerant, and loving at all times. However, if we learn to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.lifehack.org\/articles\/communication\/how-handle-negative-emotions.html#how-to-embrace-negative-emotions-and-turn-them-into-positive-motivation\">listen to our emotions<\/a>\u2014even the unpleasant ones\u2014we often find that they\u2019re giving us important information. Here are some actionable tips on how to deal with negative emotions:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ol class=\"wp-block-list\"><li><strong>Acknowledge the feeling. <\/strong>Instead of trying to suppress a negative emotion, admit that you\u2019re feeling it. Doing so will allow you to address that feeling in a healthy way.<\/li><li><strong>Determine what it\u2019s telling you. <\/strong>Figure out the <em>intent <\/em>behind the feeling. For example, if you\u2019re angry, ask yourself what doesn\u2019t match your image of how things should be; if you feel disgust, ask what that feeling is trying to protect you from.<\/li><li><strong>Evaluate the feeling. <\/strong>Once you know what the emotion is telling you, ask yourself whether it\u2019s an accurate assessment of the situation. Does someone truly deserve your contempt, or did he just make a mistake? If you feel hatred, ask yourself whether you really believe that person is evil, cruel, and unable (or unwilling) to change\u2014and might there be something you don\u2019t know that would help explain it?&nbsp;<\/li><li><strong>Take action (or not). <\/strong>Based on your interpretation and evaluation of the feeling, you can take informed, constructive action. For example, you could try to fix whatever is making you angry, or you could work through your feelings of disgust to connect with someone else. However, you might also decide that there\u2019s no way you can help; in that case, by acknowledging and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/self-awareness-is-like-an-onion\/\">understanding your feelings<\/a>, you\u2019ve already done all you can.<\/li><\/ol>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Do your emotions often get out of hand? How can you channel your negative emotions into more constructive ends? According to Bren\u00e9 Brown, emotions are a powerful force of love and connection when used correctly and channeled into positive actions. Used improperly, they cut us off from each other, leaving us divided and hateful. Here&#8217;s how to deal with negative emotions, according to Bren\u00e9 Brown.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":34078,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[9,6],"tags":[640],"class_list":["post-68623","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-psychology","category-spiritual","tag-atlas-of-the-heart","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.3 (Yoast SEO v24.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Bren\u00e9 Brown: How to Deal With Negative Emotions - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"How can you channel your negative emotions into more constructive ends? 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