{"id":68606,"date":"2022-06-11T06:23:00","date_gmt":"2022-06-11T10:23:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=68606"},"modified":"2025-09-03T14:20:29","modified_gmt":"2025-09-03T18:20:29","slug":"brene-brown-emotions","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/brene-brown-emotions\/","title":{"rendered":"Bren\u00e9 Brown: Emotions and Their Near Enemies"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>What are &#8220;near enemies&#8221;? What are some examples of emotional near enemies? <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>According to Bren\u00e9 Brown, emotions and traits have &#8220;near enemies&#8221;\u2014states that feel similar but come from a different place. For example, the near enemy of hope is blind optimism, and the near enemy of self-sufficiency is hyper-independence. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Here are some of the common near enemies you might fight within yourself. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<p><em>Editor\u2019s note: This article is part of <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/hub\/society-culture\/psychology\/emotional-intelligence-guide\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Shortform\u2019s guide to emotional intelligence<\/a>. If you like what you read here, there\u2019s plenty more to check out in the guide!<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-near-enemies\">Near Enemies<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>According to Bren\u00e9 Brown, emotions have their evil cousins. The term grew out of Buddhism and originally described something that seemed to be a helpful spiritual trait, but in reality got in the way of a person\u2019s <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/spiritual-evolution\/\">spiritual growth<\/a>. For example, making grand shows of piety might make you look devout and enlightened, but you\u2019re really just doing it to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/grab-attention\/\">get attention<\/a> and approval from others.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Brown frequently extends the idea of near enemies to emotions or thought patterns\u2014for instance, jealous possessiveness might look like love, but it harms relationships instead of helping to build them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Near enemies, by nature, are hard to recognize because they\u2019re very similar to positive traits and states of mind. Noticing and rejecting them requires self-awareness and vigilance, and it helps if you know what to look for.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Here are  a few of the most common near enemies to watch out for: <\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>Hope\u2019s near enemy is <em>blind optimism.<\/em><\/strong><em> <\/em>While hope is the belief that things can get better, blind optimism causes you to think that everything will be okay without any effort on your part. Thus, you trap yourself into repeating the same mistakes over and over.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Kindness\u2019s near enemy is <em>selflessness. <\/em><\/strong>Many of us were taught that selflessness is a good thing, but failing to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/when-to-say-no\/\">set boundaries<\/a> and take care of your own needs will quickly burn you out. As the saying goes, <a href=\"https:\/\/modern-minds.com\/you-cant-pour-from-an-empty-cup-why-self-care-isnt-selfish\/\">you can\u2019t pour from an empty cup<\/a>\u2014you can\u2019t help anyone if you\u2019ve used up all of your strength.\u00a0<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Self-sufficiency\u2019s near enemy is <em>hyper-independence<\/em>. <\/strong>It\u2019s good to be able to look after yourself, but when <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/maturity-continuum-7-habits\/\">independence<\/a> turns into the fear of getting close to others, or fear of accepting help, you could find yourself isolated and overwhelmed.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Discipline\u2019s near enemy is <em>rigidity<\/em>.<\/strong> If you have a strict schedule that you never allow yourself to deviate from, or if you have particular ways of doing things and can\u2019t tolerate changes to that routine, you\u2019re suffering from rigidity.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>What are &#8220;near enemies&#8221;? What are some examples of emotional near enemies? According to Bren\u00e9 Brown, emotions and traits have &#8220;near enemies&#8221;\u2014states that feel similar but come from a different place. For example, the near enemy of hope is blind optimism, and the near enemy of self-sufficiency is hyper-independence. Here are some of the common near enemies you might fight within yourself.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":33777,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[9,6],"tags":[640],"class_list":["post-68606","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-psychology","category-spiritual","tag-atlas-of-the-heart","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.3 (Yoast SEO v24.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Bren\u00e9 Brown: Emotions and Their Near Enemies - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"According to Bren\u00e9 Brown, emotions and traits have &quot;near enemies.&quot; Here are some of the common near enemies you might fight within yourself.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/brene-brown-emotions\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Bren\u00e9 Brown: Emotions and Their Near Enemies\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"According to Bren\u00e9 Brown, emotions and traits have &quot;near enemies.&quot; Here are some of the common near enemies you might fight within yourself.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/brene-brown-emotions\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Shortform Books\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2022-06-11T10:23:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2025-09-03T18:20:29+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/emotions.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1115\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"621\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Darya Sinusoid\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Darya Sinusoid\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"2 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/brene-brown-emotions\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/brene-brown-emotions\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Darya Sinusoid\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/0421cce75bc249b11e2517b3a91f9c46\"},\"headline\":\"Bren\u00e9 Brown: Emotions and Their Near Enemies\",\"datePublished\":\"2022-06-11T10:23:00+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2025-09-03T18:20:29+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/brene-brown-emotions\/\"},\"wordCount\":444,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/brene-brown-emotions\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/emotions.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"Atlas of the Heart\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Psychology\",\"Spiritual\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/brene-brown-emotions\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/brene-brown-emotions\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/brene-brown-emotions\/\",\"name\":\"Bren\u00e9 Brown: Emotions and Their Near Enemies - 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