{"id":67565,"date":"2022-06-08T07:00:06","date_gmt":"2022-06-08T11:00:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=67565"},"modified":"2022-06-14T22:09:11","modified_gmt":"2022-06-15T02:09:11","slug":"how-to-stop-criticizing-others","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-stop-criticizing-others\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Stop Criticizing Others: Mind Your Business"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Do you often find yourself criticizing others? How does unvoiced criticism erode your relationships with people? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Being hyper-critical of others is a toxic mental habit. When you criticize others\u2014even if you don’t voice your criticism\u2014you create unnecessary negativity in your interactions with people.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here’s how criticism damages your relationships and how to stop criticizing others. <\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

Your Criticism of Others Is About You, Not Them<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Criticism of others<\/a> is usually as much, or more, about you as it is about the other person. It keeps you from being able to work harmoniously with others, and puts the blame for failures or problems onto others instead of taking responsibility<\/a> for those yourself. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Start to observe any critical statements you make about others, and make note of whether those are productive or not. For example, if your co-worker isn\u2019t meeting their obligations and it\u2019s keeping you from accomplishing tasks, notice how you react to it: Are you addressing it in a productive way, or just hurling criticism? Are you placing all of the blame on them without examining your role in the dynamic?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In his book The Big Leap<\/em>, Gay Hendricks gives some tips on how to stop criticizing others: Once you take notice of your tendency toward criticism, Hendricks suggests trying to refrain entirely from making any critical statements for one day\u2014this should make you aware of how habitual the behavior is. Then, notice whether your criticisms are things you can do something about and, if so, just do what it takes to resolve it. He predicts, however, that you\u2019ll notice that most of your criticisms are not productive, and when you realize this, you\u2019ll become aware of how unnecessary they are and eventually stop the habit.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

How to Know if You\u2019re a Compulsive Criticizer<\/strong>

Some psychologists consider hyper-criticism to be the most damaging behavior in relationships, including those with our romantic partners, our friends, our families, and our colleagues. But critical people don\u2019t often tend to recognize that about themselves. <\/strong>It\u2019s believed to be a mechanism for ego-defense<\/a>, often stemming from being criticized heavily as a child. As the criticized child matures, they’ll tend to project that internal criticism outward in order to remove it from themselves. If you tend to have a lot of conflict in your relationships, you might just be \u201cthat person.\u201d
 
Hendricks advises us to take notice of our critical statements, but there are a few specific signs you can look for<\/a> that may tell you if you\u2019re too critical:

1. People tell you you\u2019re too critical, negative, or judgmental. If you\u2019ve heard this from multiple people, you should probably believe it. 

2. You have a hard time letting others do things without interfering and correcting them.

3. Even when others around you are enjoying something, you\u2019ll always find a complaint. You find it difficult to be fully grateful.

Noticing these behaviors in yourself is the most important step toward changing them. Once you can catch yourself being critical, you can learn to pause and replace the negative with something positive or neutral. It will take practice, but this is a behavior you can learn to change.<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Do you often find yourself criticizing others? How does unvoiced criticism erode your relationships with people? Being hyper-critical of others is a toxic mental habit. When you criticize others\u2014even if you don’t voice your criticism\u2014you create unnecessary negativity in your interactions with people. Here’s how criticism damages your relationships and how to stop criticizing others.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":45358,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[34,43],"tags":[628],"class_list":["post-67565","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-communication","category-self-improvement","tag-the-big-leap","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"\nHow to Stop Criticizing Others: Mind Your Business - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"When you criticize others, you create unnecessary negativity in your interactions with them. 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