{"id":66995,"date":"2022-05-31T15:37:36","date_gmt":"2022-05-31T19:37:36","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=66995"},"modified":"2022-06-14T21:57:00","modified_gmt":"2022-06-15T01:57:00","slug":"living-in-awareness","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/living-in-awareness\/","title":{"rendered":"Are You Living in Awareness or Denial?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Do you feel you are living from a place of awareness or denial? What does it mean to live in awareness?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When you live in awareness, you look for<strong> <\/strong>information about the external and internal realities that affect your life, accept them, and act accordingly. For example, you <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/take-control-of-your-finances\/\">take control of your finances<\/a> by checking your bank account and adjusting your budget as needed. If you don\u2019t look for information about these realities, you\u2019re not living in awareness\u2014you\u2019re choosing ignorance and denying reality on some level.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Keep reading to learn what living in awareness is and why it\u2019s important.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-what-is-living-in-awareness\"><strong>What Is Living in Awareness?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>According to psychotherapist Nathaniel Branden, living in awareness involves <em>situational<\/em> awareness: <strong>You\u2019re aware of everything that\u2019s important in a particular situation and act accordingly.<\/strong> As such, you simultaneously choose <em>not <\/em>to pay attention to unimportant stimuli, which allows you to live in the moment. For example, if you\u2019re focused on reading this article, ignoring the room\u2019s temperature is a sign you\u2019re living in awareness\u2014unless your teeth are chattering.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>(Shortform note: Sometimes, things seem important but are just pressing. For example, if you\u2019re working on an important presentation, a phone call from your boss about the presentation is both important and pressing, but a phone call from her about the holiday party may just be pressing. To determine whether something is important or merely pressing, <a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/first-things-first#the-significance-vs-pressure-graph\">plot out the difference with the graph<\/a> recommended by productivity expert Stephen R. Covey in <a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/first-things-first\"><em>First Things First<\/em><\/a>.)&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Branden names several more specific habits you implement when you live in awareness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>1. You use your mind.<\/strong> You choose to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/think-for-yourself\/\">think for yourself<\/a> and to look for knowledge. (Shortform note: One way to do this is to learn about the <a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/thinking-fast-and-slow#important-biases-and-heuristics\">unconscious biases that affect our decisions<\/a>, which Kahneman describes in <a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/thinking-fast-and-slow\"><em>Thinking, Fast and Slow<\/em><\/a>. Understanding these biases is an act of awareness that can help you <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/make-better-decisions\/\">make better decisions<\/a>.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>2. You\u2019re always learning<\/strong> because you know it\u2019s necessary to maintain awareness of reality in an ever-changing world. You\u2019re curious about the world around you and open to new ideas. You seek information that could alter your life and respond appropriately if you encounter it. You prioritize the truth instead of <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/your-ego\/\">your ego<\/a>, so you readily admit <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/what-if-youre-wrong\/\">when you\u2019re wrong<\/a>.&nbsp; (Shortform note: In <a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/ego-is-the-enemy\/\"><em>Ego Is The Enemy<\/em><\/a>, Ryan Holiday warns that your ego can convince you that you know everything\u2014but even someone who\u2019s <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/master-a-skill\/\">mastered a skill<\/a> can find new ways to improve. He recommends <a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/ego-is-the-enemy\/part-1b#become-a-lifelong-student\">becoming a mentor to someone more junior than you<\/a>: The experience of teaching what you know improves your understanding of it and encourages you to grow.)&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>3. You know that what you <\/strong><strong><em>believe<\/em><\/strong><strong> isn\u2019t necessarily <\/strong><strong><em>true.<\/em><\/strong><em> <\/em>For example, if your friend doesn\u2019t text you, you may believe she doesn\u2019t care about you. But just because you <em>believe<\/em> this doesn\u2019t make it true\u2014maybe she had an emergency. (Shortform note: If you\u2019re having trouble discerning the difference, try the litmus test presented by researchers Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen<strong> <\/strong>in <a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/difficult-conversations\/\"><em>Difficult Conversations<\/em><\/a>: A fact is <a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/difficult-conversations\/appendix#q1-is-everything-relative\">measurable and verifiable<\/a>. Everything else is subjective.)&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>4. You try to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-understand-yourself\/\">understand yourself<\/a>.<\/strong> You pay <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/mindfulness-of-emotions\/\">attention to your feelings<\/a>, emotions, and behaviors, and you act on what they reveal. (Shortform note: If you don\u2019t know how you feel about something, try the head\/heart technique: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.psychologytoday.com\/us\/blog\/emotion-information\/201806\/head-heart-repeat#:~:text=Now%20shift%20back%20down%20again%20to%20your,what%20you%20sensed%20before%20is%20what%20you\">Notice your thoughts, then direct your attention to your heart area<\/a>. Do any feelings arise? These can be pure emotion or physical cues that indicate emotion\u2014like a fluttering in your heart.)&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>5. You try to face unpleasant realities when necessary.<\/strong> You may occasionally succumb to the temptation of avoiding these painful realities\u2014but as long as you sincerely <em>attempt<\/em> to face them, you\u2019re living in awareness. (Shortform note: If you suspect you\u2019re avoiding something, ask yourself questions like, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.psychologytoday.com\/us\/blog\/the-empowerment-diary\/201904\/how-know-your-emotional-truth#:~:text=to%20figure%20out%20what%20your%20emotional,What%20are%20some%20dark%20secrets%20about\">\u201cWhat dark secrets about myself have I never told anyone?&#8221;<\/a>)\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>6. You persist when you inevitably encounter difficulties<\/strong>, instead of giving up or making a half-hearted effort. That said, if you stop pursuing a goal because you lack the time or energy required to resolve the challenges involved, you\u2019re still living in awareness. (Shortform note: Persevering when you encounter difficulties is an element of grit, which psychologist Angela Duckworth defines as a combination of perseverance and passion. In <a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/grit\"><em>Grit<\/em><\/a>, she contends that <a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/grit#how-effort-affects-success\">this perseverance doubles your success<\/a>\u2014first because perseverance increases your talent, and then because it increases the application of that talent.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>7. You practice deep breathing and relaxation techniques<\/strong> in order to fully embrace and feel your emotions. Branden explains that when you block your emotions, you breathe more shallowly and tighten your muscles. The longer you live without awareness of your emotions, the more ingrained these physical habits become\u2014and eventually, you become <em>incapable<\/em> of feeling as much as you used to. Techniques like deep breathing reverse this pattern: You become physically able to feel more, so you\u2019re able to be more <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/getting-in-touch-with-your-emotions\/\">aware of your emotions<\/a>.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>(Shortform note: Physically reconnecting with your body may be especially important for trauma survivors, who are <a href=\"https:\/\/khironclinics.com\/blog\/trauma-and-low-self-esteem\/#:~:text=According%20to%20the%20study%2C%20%E2%80%9Cthe,decline%20in%20self%2Desteem%E2%80%9D.\">prone to low self-esteem<\/a>. In <a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/the-body-keeps-the-score\/\"><em>The Body Keeps the Score<\/em><\/a>, researcher Bessel van der Kolk<strong> <\/strong>contends that <a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/the-body-keeps-the-score\/chapter-6\">trauma survivors suffer major disconnection from their bodies<\/a>, and it\u2019s only <a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/the-body-keeps-the-score\/chapter-6#trauma-survivors-must-reconnect-with-their-bodies\">by becoming aware of and responding to their physicality that they can work through their trauma<\/a>.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-why-living-in-awareness-matters\"><strong>Why Living in Awareness Matters<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>You\u2019ve now learned what living in awareness is\u2014but why does it matter?\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Branden argues that <strong>living in awareness is the foundation of self-esteem<\/strong>. Every day, you make decisions that either do or don\u2019t demonstrate a commitment to conscious living: You live in awareness by not buying a drink you can\u2019t afford, then do the opposite by avoiding a necessary but tough conversation. Although you don\u2019t consciously remember most of these decisions because you make so many of them, each decision either nurtures or chips away at your self-esteem\u2014and, collectively, they determine your self-esteem.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Moreover, Branden contends that <strong>living without awareness can lead to addiction<\/strong>: You turn to addictive substances to reduce your awareness of your pain. But the tools of your addiction only blunt your pain temporarily. Afterward, your pain returns more powerfully than before\u2014so you need even more of your substance to dull your awareness of it. Branden adds that addiction is only <em>possible<\/em> if you live without awareness: You only knowingly do something bad for you if you <em>ignore<\/em> the reality that it\u2019s bad for you.&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Do you feel you are living from a place of awareness or denial? What does it mean to live in awareness? When you live in awareness, you look for information about the external and internal realities that affect your life, accept them, and act accordingly. For example, you take control of your finances by checking your bank account and adjusting your budget as needed. If you don\u2019t look for information about these realities, you\u2019re not living in awareness\u2014you\u2019re choosing ignorance and denying reality on some level. Keep reading to learn what living in awareness is and why it\u2019s important.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":21164,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[9,43],"tags":[624],"class_list":["post-66995","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-psychology","category-self-improvement","tag-the-six-pillars-of-self-esteem","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.3 (Yoast SEO v24.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Are You Living in Awareness or Denial? - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Many people are sleep-walking through life, denying reality on some level. 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When you live in awareness, you face your reality in its fullness.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/living-in-awareness\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Shortform Books\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2022-05-31T19:37:36+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2022-06-15T01:57:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/s3.amazonaws.com\/wordpress.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/mountains-thinking-perspective-self.png\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1220\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"650\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/png\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Darya Sinusoid\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Darya Sinusoid\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"5 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/living-in-awareness\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/living-in-awareness\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Darya Sinusoid\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/0421cce75bc249b11e2517b3a91f9c46\"},\"headline\":\"Are You Living in Awareness or Denial?\",\"datePublished\":\"2022-05-31T19:37:36+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2022-06-15T01:57:00+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/living-in-awareness\/\"},\"wordCount\":1107,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/living-in-awareness\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/mountains-thinking-perspective-self.png\",\"keywords\":[\"The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Psychology\",\"Self-Improvement\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/living-in-awareness\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/living-in-awareness\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/living-in-awareness\/\",\"name\":\"Are You Living in Awareness or Denial? - Shortform Books\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/living-in-awareness\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/living-in-awareness\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/mountains-thinking-perspective-self.png\",\"datePublished\":\"2022-05-31T19:37:36+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2022-06-15T01:57:00+00:00\",\"description\":\"Many people are sleep-walking through life, denying reality on some level. 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