{"id":66991,"date":"2022-06-12T15:24:15","date_gmt":"2022-06-12T19:24:15","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=66991"},"modified":"2022-06-14T21:51:54","modified_gmt":"2022-06-15T01:51:54","slug":"nathaniel-branden-self-esteem","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/nathaniel-branden-self-esteem\/","title":{"rendered":"Nathaniel Branden: Self-Esteem Explained"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>What exactly is self-esteem? What are the two components of self-esteem?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>According to psychotherapist and self-esteem expert Nathaniel Branden, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/what-is-self-esteem-and-why-is-it-important\/\">self-esteem is<\/a> the tendency to believe that you\u2019re capable of handling the fundamental necessities of life and that you deserve happiness.<strong> <\/strong>Branden calls this confidence in your own capability \u201cself-efficacy\u201d and your belief that you deserve happiness \u201cself-respect.\u201d Both<em> <\/em>are essential ingredients of self-esteem: You cannot have healthy self-esteem if you lack either.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Keep reading to learn about the two essential components of self-esteem, how your choices affect your self-esteem, and why self-esteem matters.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-what-is-self-esteem\"><strong>What Is Self-Esteem?&nbsp;<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>According to Nathaniel Branden, self-esteem involves capability and worthiness. He discusses these two elements in his book <em>The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The first element, self-efficacy or <em>capability<\/em>, is <strong>when you trust your own mind<\/strong> <strong>and judgment<\/strong>\u2014so you feel like you control your life. You\u2019re confident that you\u2019re <em>generally <\/em>capable: You believe that you can learn the skills you need to succeed, even if you lack those skills in a specific area. You\u2019re also confident that you can handle the fundamental necessities of life, namely to earn a living, have <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/building-healthy-relationships\/\">healthy relationships<\/a>, and recover when you face difficulties.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n[Shortform note: Research suggests that being confident in your capability may be more important than how capable you actually are, at least when it comes to how others perceive you. In <a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/the-confidence-code\"><em>The Confidence Code<\/em><\/a>, Katty Kay and Claire Shipman note that<a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/the-confidence-code#why-confidence-matters\"> <\/a>people who think they\u2019re capable (even if they\u2019re objectively not) <a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/the-confidence-code#why-confidence-matters\">exude nonverbal cues that make them seem confident <\/a>and inspire respect from others.]\n\n\n\n<p>The second element, self-respect or <em>worthiness<\/em>, entails <strong>believing you deserve happiness because you are generally good and inherently valuable<\/strong>. You believe that you\u2019re worth making happy and that you <em>deserve<\/em> to enjoy the fruits of your labor. As such, you treat yourself well and expect similar respect from others. (Shortform note: In <a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/the-gifts-of-imperfection\/\"><em>The Gifts of Imperfection<\/em><\/a>, researcher<strong> <\/strong>Bren\u00e9 Brown also emphasizes the importance of worthiness, or believing that <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-good-are-you\/\">you are good<\/a> enough as you are and deserve to be loved. One key to feeling worthy is to <a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/the-gifts-of-imperfection\/part-1#defining-worthiness\">abandon the idea that you need to fit societal expectations<\/a>: You are worthy as you are.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Crucially, Branden contends, <strong>your self-esteem both <\/strong><strong><em>drives <\/em><\/strong><strong>and <\/strong><strong><em>depends on <\/em><\/strong><strong>your behavior in a never-ending cycle:<\/strong> Your actions align with your expectations of yourself, which are reinforced by the consequences of those actions. (Shortform note: In <a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/awaken-the-giant-within\/\"><em>Awaken the Giant Within<\/em><\/a>, life coach Tony Robbins contends that your <a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/awaken-the-giant-within\/chapter-15#know-that-your-identity-defines-not-em-who-you-are-em-but-em-what-you-do-em\">identity works similarly<\/a>: Your identity is a set of beliefs about yourself, and since you strive to be consistent with your beliefs, you act in ways that reinforce your existing identity. However, Robbins attributes this striving for consistency to external societal pressure: Society says <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-change-your-core-beliefs\/\">changing your beliefs<\/a> is wishy-washy, so you avoid it.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Since you have total control over your behavior, <strong>your choices inevitably affect your self-esteem<\/strong>: You can\u2019t avoid feeling <em>some <\/em>way about how you <em>choose <\/em>to behave, and those feelings affect your opinion of yourself. As such, self-esteem can\u2019t be divorced from your behavior; it\u2019s trust in your own capability and worthiness <em>because<\/em> you act in ways that support these ideas. &nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>That said, <strong>self-esteem depends on the pattern of choices you tend to make<\/strong>\u2014not a single choice. As such, self-esteem isn\u2019t something you achieve once; you work on it throughout your life as it fluctuates.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n[Shortform note: One study found that <a href=\"https:\/\/www.apa.org\/pubs\/journals\/releases\/psp-98-4-645.pdf\">middle-aged people tend to have high self-esteem that gradually declines after they reach retirement age<\/a> (around 60). Researchers posit that your self-esteem may drop as you age because of the change to your life roles\u2014for example, you may no longer feel needed once your kids leave the nest. Branden might argue that a change in your life role necessarily encompasses a change in your behavior\u2014and it\u2019s this change in your <em>behavior <\/em>that reduces your self-esteem.]\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-why-self-esteem-matters\"><strong>Why Self-Esteem Matters<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>We\u2019ve now learned what self-esteem is\u2014but <em>why<\/em> does it matter? Branden shares several reasons.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>First, Branden argues, <strong>self-esteem affects you no matter what<\/strong>. You can ignore your opinion of yourself, but you cannot refrain from having one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>(Shortform note: It\u2019s possible that the lower your self-esteem, the harder it is to ignore your opinion of yourself. In <a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/the-happiness-hypothesis\/\"><em>The Happiness Hypothesis<\/em><\/a>, psychologist Jonathan Haidt explains that humans have a <a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/the-happiness-hypothesis\/chapter-2#negativity-bias\">negativity bias that wires us to dislike and fear bad things <\/a>more than we like good things. This may lead us to pay greater attention to negative than to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-have-a-positive-mindset\/\">positive thoughts<\/a>.)&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Second, Branden argues, <strong>self-esteem promotes your well-being<\/strong>, which depends on your ability to think of and select the most appropriate behavior. You\u2019re capable of knowing the right thing to do and <em>choosing not to do it<\/em>\u2014in other words, you have the free will to think and act in self-destructive ways\u2014but high self-esteem leads you to bypass such self-destructive options in favor of choices that support your capability and worthiness.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>(Shortform note: In reality, most of us <em>don\u2019t <\/em>make the best choice available, regardless of our self-esteem levels. In <a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/thinking-fast-and-slow\"><em>Thinking, Fast and Slow<\/em><\/a>, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/who-is-daniel-kahneman\/\">psychologist Daniel Kahneman<\/a> explains that humans are subject to several <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/cognitive-heuristics\/\">cognitive biases<\/a> that lead us to illogical choices\u2014like the <a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/thinking-fast-and-slow#cognitive-biases-and-heuristics\">availability bias<\/a>, our tendency to overweight and recall strong emotions over less emotional but more important issues.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>As a result, <strong>self-esteem creates self-fulfilling prophecies.<\/strong> For example, people with high self-esteem keep trying when they face challenges, which makes them more likely to succeed\u2014which raises their self-esteem. But people with <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/consequences-of-low-self-esteem\/\">low self-esteem<\/a> don\u2019t try as hard, so they\u2019re more likely to fail, which lowers their self-esteem.&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>(Shortform note: While studies have found that the <a href=\"https:\/\/journals.sagepub.com\/doi\/full\/10.1111\/1529-1006.01431\">higher your self-esteem, the greater you keep trying after you fail<\/a>, most studies have failed to find that self-esteem <em>causes<\/em> success\u2014only that the two are correlated.)&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Third, Branden asserts that <strong>self-esteem protects us from the worst life has to offer<\/strong>\u2014he calls it the \u201cimmune system of consciousness.\u201d When you have high self-esteem, you\u2019re able to deal with and quickly recover from life\u2019s inevitable challenges. With low self-esteem, you lack this ability, which inhibits your success. Of course, you can technically survive without self-esteem, and self-esteem doesn\u2019t <em>guarantee<\/em> a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/living-a-fulfilled-life\/\">fulfilled life<\/a>, but without it, you <em>definitely won\u2019t <\/em>have the most fulfilling life possible.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>(Shortform note: In fact, one study of homeless youth found that <a href=\"https:\/\/www.researchgate.net\/publication\/227808829_Resilience_in_Homeless_Youth_The_Key_Role_of_Self-Esteem\">having higher self-esteem buffered against some of the damaging effects of living on the streets<\/a>, like loneliness and suicidal thoughts.)&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Finally, Branden argues that <strong>self-esteem is more important than ever because you need it to survive the modern world<\/strong>, which requires you to make more choices than ever before: Not only do you have total freedom over your beliefs, jobs, and spouses, but modern <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/peter-drucker-knowledge-worker\/\">knowledge worker<\/a> jobs also require you to take initiative and make choices in a way that factory jobs didn\u2019t. Branden contends that the more choices you need to make, the more you need self-esteem\u2014you must trust your own judgment, decide what matters, and act accordingly. Without self-esteem, you\u2019ll grow afraid of these choices and escape to places that don\u2019t require choice but are dangerous in other ways\u2014like a cult.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-table\"><table><tbody><tr><td><strong>Dealing With Decision Overload&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/strong><br><br>Even the most mentally robust people occasionally struggle with the amount of choices they must make every day: Research shows that <a href=\"https:\/\/www.nytimes.com\/2011\/08\/21\/magazine\/do-you-suffer-from-decision-fatigue.html\">the decisions you make throughout the day may drain your mental energy<\/a>, making it more likely you\u2019ll give into unhealthy impulses as the day goes on.&nbsp;<br><br>Psychologists also contend that <a href=\"http:\/\/realsimple.com\/health\/mind-mood\/decision-fatigue\">some mental health conditions that correlate with low self-esteem\u2014like depression\u2014may exacerbate this energy drain<\/a>. However, they don\u2019t recommend improving your self-esteem to make better choices. Rather, they suggest developing routines: By reducing the number of small decisions you make each day, you conserve your <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/mental-energy\/\">mental energy<\/a> for big decisions that matter.<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>What exactly is self-esteem? What are the two components of self-esteem? According to psychotherapist and self-esteem expert Nathaniel Branden, self-esteem is the tendency to believe that you\u2019re capable of handling the fundamental necessities of life and that you deserve happiness. Branden calls this confidence in your own capability \u201cself-efficacy\u201d and your belief that you deserve happiness \u201cself-respect.\u201d Both are essential ingredients of self-esteem: You cannot have healthy self-esteem if you lack either. Keep reading to learn about the two essential components of self-esteem, how your choices affect your self-esteem, and why self-esteem matters.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":21275,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[9,43],"tags":[624],"class_list":["post-66991","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-psychology","category-self-improvement","tag-the-six-pillars-of-self-esteem","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.3 (Yoast SEO v24.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Nathaniel Branden: Self-Esteem Explained - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"What exactly is self-esteem? 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