{"id":66720,"date":"2022-05-12T11:51:00","date_gmt":"2022-05-12T15:51:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=66720"},"modified":"2025-10-03T10:54:55","modified_gmt":"2025-10-03T14:54:55","slug":"how-to-make-more-friends","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-make-more-friends\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Make More Friends: Fake It Till You Make It"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Do you find it difficult to make friends? What&#8217;s the key to making lots of friends?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>According to communications expert Leil Lowndes, the key to making friends with anyone is to pretend that you&#8217;re already close friends. Pretending to like others feels so good that it eventually turns into genuine affection.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Here&#8217;s how to make more friends, according to Lowndes. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<p><em>Editor\u2019s note: This article is part of\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/hub\/personal-life\/relationships\/friendship-guide\/\">Shortform\u2019s guide to friendships<\/a>. If you like what you read here, there\u2019s plenty more to check out in the guide!<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-pretend-you-re-already-close-friends\">Pretend You\u2019re Already Close Friends<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>In her book <em>How to Talk to Anyone<\/em>, communications expert Leil Lowndes explains how to make more friends. The key, she says, is to fake it till you make it. Pretend that you\u2019re already close friends with the people you want to make friends with. She argues that you only feel\u2014and broadcast\u2014discomfort when you\u2019re feeling unsure about how others will respond to you. However, when you imagine that you\u2019re already close friends, you remove this uncertainty and automatically feel more relaxed and comfortable around others.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>While you\u2019re initially only pretending to like the person, you\u2019re sending signals that put them at ease\u2014encouraging them to like you and respond warmly to you. This makes you want to like them, resulting in a genuinely comfortable and enjoyable interaction.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-2-ways-to-trick-yourself-into-sending-positive-signals\"><strong>2 Ways to Trick Yourself Into Sending Positive Signals<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Many self-help practitioners mirror Lowndes\u2019s suggestion that imagining the desired end result of your meeting\u2014a close friendship\u2014leads you to act in ways that bring it into reality. But, how can you make yourself believe that you\u2019re friends with someone when you\u2019re not? Self-help practitioners offer various ways to achieve this:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Joseph Murphy (<a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/app\/book\/the-power-of-your-subconscious-mind\"><em>The Power of Your Subconscious Mind<\/em><\/a>) suggests that <strong>you should first consider how you\u2019d like other people to think about you.<\/strong> Then think about <em>them<\/em> in this way, regardless of how they behave. For example, if you\u2019d like people to compliment you, then think complimentary thoughts about others. Like Lowndes, Murphy argues that <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/app\/book\/the-power-of-your-subconscious-mind\/part-4#relationships\">people will intuitively pick up on your positive thoughts and reflect them back to you.&nbsp;<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Louise Hay (<a href=\"https:\/\/www.hayhouse.com\/you-can-heal-your-life-paperback?utm_source=LH.com&amp;utm_medium=Shop&amp;utm_campaign=LH.com_YCHYL\"><em>You Can Heal Your Life<\/em><\/a>) suggests the inverse of Murphy\u2019s approach: <strong>You need to think about <em>yourself<\/em> the way you want others to think about you<\/strong>. Hay claims that every experience in your life reflects your opinion of yourself: If you don\u2019t like yourself, you send out emotional signals that make other people <em>not want<\/em> to like you. According to Hay, practicing positive <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/affirmation-and-visualization-7-habits\/\">affirmations<\/a> will change the way you view yourself and the emotional signals that you send out. Other people will then reflect these emotional signals back to you. So, if you want others to like you, affirm to yourself, \u201cI like myself\u201d before approaching them.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Do you find it difficult to make friends? What&#8217;s the key to making lots of friends? According to communications expert Leil Lowndes, the key to making friends with anyone is to pretend that you&#8217;re already close friends. Pretending to like others feels so good that it eventually turns into genuine affection. Here&#8217;s how to make more friends, according to Lowndes.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":8136,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[34,9,12],"tags":[620],"class_list":["post-66720","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-communication","category-psychology","category-relationships","tag-how-to-talk-to-anyone","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.3 (Yoast SEO v24.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>How to Make More Friends: Fake It Till You Make It - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"What&#039;s the key to making lots of friends? 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Here&#039;s how to make more friends, according to communications expert Leil Lowndes.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-make-more-friends\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Shortform Books\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2022-05-12T15:51:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2025-10-03T14:54:55+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/communication-7-habits-scaled.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"2560\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"1703\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Darya Sinusoid\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Darya Sinusoid\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-make-more-friends\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-make-more-friends\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Darya Sinusoid\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/0421cce75bc249b11e2517b3a91f9c46\"},\"headline\":\"How to Make More Friends: Fake It Till You Make It\",\"datePublished\":\"2022-05-12T15:51:00+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2025-10-03T14:54:55+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-make-more-friends\/\"},\"wordCount\":492,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-make-more-friends\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/communication-7-habits-scaled.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"How to Talk to Anyone\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Communication\",\"Psychology\",\"Relationships\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-make-more-friends\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-make-more-friends\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-make-more-friends\/\",\"name\":\"How to Make More Friends: Fake It Till You Make It - Shortform Books\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-make-more-friends\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-make-more-friends\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/communication-7-habits-scaled.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2022-05-12T15:51:00+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2025-10-03T14:54:55+00:00\",\"description\":\"What's the key to making lots of friends? 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