{"id":66380,"date":"2022-05-12T10:25:00","date_gmt":"2022-05-12T14:25:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=66380"},"modified":"2022-05-20T15:49:47","modified_gmt":"2022-05-20T19:49:47","slug":"how-to-control-your-ego","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-control-your-ego\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Control Your Ego, According to Eckhart Tolle"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

What is the nature of the ego? What happens when we identify with the ego? How can we prevent the ego from keeping us trapped in mindlessness? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The ego is preoccupied with superiority and self-image, always wanting more<\/a> and better\u2014such is its nature. When we overidentify with the ego, we are consumed with wanting, which traps us in a dysfunctional state of mindlessness. According to spiritual teacher Eckhart Tolle, the only way to escape this state is to evolve our consciousness to a higher level\u2014one where we are present in each moment rather than constantly wanting. He calls this state being or presence. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here’s how to control your ego<\/a> and ultimately achieve a state of mindfulness<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

Keep Your Ego in Check<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

In his book A New Earth<\/em>: Awakening to Your Life\u2019s Purpose<\/em>, Eckhart Tolle offers five suggestions for how to control your ego and live with non-attachment, nonjudgment, and nonresistance and finally break free from the state of mindlessness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

  1. Recognize and ignore the compulsions of the ego that strengthen it: <\/strong>The ego compels us to strengthen our identity<\/em> and reach for superiority<\/em>. So, resist the urge to do things like express your opinion when it\u2019s not asked for or needed; demand recognition; make unnecessary requests; have strong expectations of people; or try to make an impression through your beliefs, knowledge, or looks. These are the compulsions of your ego.<\/li>
  2. Detach from the thoughts and emotions<\/a> of your pain-body<\/a>:<\/strong> When we get upset over things like disrespect, lack of attention, or other people\u2019s behavior, we cause ourselves unnecessary misery and<\/em> strengthen our pain-body, making ourselves more prone to these reactions in the future. When you recognize these thoughts and emotions cropping up, detach yourself from them and acknowledge that they\u2019re not you<\/em>, but rather the pain-body trying to bring you down. With repetition, it will become easier to separate yourself from these negativities.<\/li>
  3. When someone damages your ego (they accuse, blame, disrespect you, and so on) don\u2019t fight it with a reaction or response\u2014let it happen. <\/strong>Your ego reacts to these offenses as a restoration tactic. But when you don’t react\u2014when you stop defending your \u201cself\u201d\u2014you\u2019ll stop identifying with your ego and strengthen your connection to your inner self<\/a><\/em>. <\/li>
  4. Focus on your breathing and take a break from thinking.<\/strong> When you focus all your attention on breathing and feeling your body, you become grounded in mindfulness and the present moment. This is a form of meditation<\/a>. This will make you aware of the gap between your thinking mind, which is the voice of your ego, and your inner self, which will allow you to feel the conscious energy that flows through every part of your body. You are not your body<\/a> or your mind, you are the conscious energy within it. <\/li>
  5. Do <\/strong>every single thing <\/em><\/strong>in a state of either acceptance, enjoyment, or enthusiasm. <\/strong>You can\u2019t always be joyful or enthusiastic about things you have to do, like cleaning or working, but you can<\/em> accept them by simply living in the present moment<\/a>. If you just accept what\u2019s happening right now without seeing it as a bridge, a barrier, or an antagonist, there\u2019s no room for negative thoughts and emotions, only mindfulness and peace. <\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n

    The Dalai Lama Adds to Tolle\u2019s Advice<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

    In The Art of Happiness<\/em><\/a>, <\/em>the Dalai Lama\u2019s assertion on how to achieve<\/a> peace and enjoyment in life closely aligns with Tolle\u2019s: Stop resisting the things that happen to us in life. The Dalai Lama says we must accept that suffering is inherent to life. When we resist the unfavorable things that happen to us, we cause ourselves more suffering\u2014for example, if you missed your train, it might be an inconvenience, but when you get angry about it, you\u2019re simply adding unnecessary suffering to an already unfavorable situation. Ultimately, the Dalai Lama is making the same assertion as Tolle: To achieve peace and enjoyment in life, we need to live with mindfulness\u2014non-attachment, nonjudgment, and nonresistance to the outside world. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    To achieve this state of acceptance, the Dalai Lama and his co-author Howard C. Cutler make a number of recommendations, many of which closely align with Tolle\u2019s suggestions:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    – Don\u2019t take things personally<\/a>.<\/strong> When we take offense<\/a> to situations, we\u2019re ultimately operating under the belief that everything is about us. Tolle\u2019s philosophy would label these negative thoughts as compulsions of both your ego and your pain-body. To help resist these thoughts, the authors suggest that you objectively question why the situation happened\u2014for example, maybe your friend was late because of traffic, not because she doesn\u2019t care about you. This practice can help you weaken the pain-body by dismantling the belief that everything is about you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    – Don\u2019t indulge in guilt. <\/strong>Everyone makes mistakes. Obviously, we should never intentionally <\/em>cause anyone suffering, but if we do so by accident, we must remember that suffering is inherent and we are only human\u2014we can\u2019t be perfect. Simply learn from the situation and move on. While this suggestion adds to Tolle\u2019s list, it\u2019s closely connected to his beliefs about how our thought elements dictate good and bad. When we follow the Dalai Lama\u2019s suggestion to learn from the mistake without feeling guilty, we\u2019re also detaching from these underlying thought beliefs that make us feel like we\u2019re a \u201cbad\u201d person\u2014guilt is ultimately a reaction and affirmation of these thought elements.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    – Contemplate your body. <\/strong>Because we possess a physical body that can experience sensations like pain, suffering is inherent and natural. Consequently, there\u2019s no need to resist it. This adds to Tolle\u2019s recommendations to focus on your body: Tolle\u2019s advice seeks to help you use your body to find mindfulness, and the Dalai Lama\u2019s advice seeks to do the same, but through suffering.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    – Stop resting change. <\/strong>Nothing is permanent\u2014experiences, plans, and even life itself. When we attach ourselves to these things, we will end up suffering when they inevitably end or change. This encapsulates Tolle\u2019s suggestion to live with non-attachment and enables us to do everything in a state of acceptance, enjoyment, and enthusiasm. If we aren\u2019t attached to external things<\/a>, we can do them with acceptance, enjoyment, and enthusiasm because we won\u2019t be concerned with them changing or ending.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    What is the nature of the ego? What happens when we identify with the ego? How can we prevent the ego from keeping us trapped in mindlessness? The ego is preoccupied with superiority and self-image, always wanting more and better\u2014such is its nature. When we overidentify with the ego, we are consumed with wanting, which traps us in a dysfunctional state of mindlessness. According to spiritual teacher Eckhart Tolle, the only way to escape this state is to evolve our consciousness to a higher level\u2014one where we are present in each moment rather than constantly wanting. He calls this state<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":45311,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[9,6],"tags":[613],"class_list":["post-66380","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-psychology","category-spiritual","tag-a-new-earth","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"\nHow to Control Your Ego, According to Eckhart Tolle - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Left unchecked, the ego can trap us in a dysfunctional state of mindlessness. 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