Have you ever tried to describe happiness to someone? Why is it so difficult to discuss happiness in an objective way?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Daniel Gilbert, Harvard professor and the author of Stumbling on Happiness, <\/em>theorizes that happiness is difficult to describe and discuss for five specific reasons. Gilbert further theorizes that most of the time people don’t even realize when they’re happy or unhappy, which complicates the issue further.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Here’s why it’s difficult to objectively discuss and describe happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n Have you ever wondered why you so often regret the decisions you make about what to do in the future? In Stumbling on Happiness,<\/em> Harvard psychology professor Daniel Gilbert points out that our imaginations (our capacity to envision the future and speculate about what will make us happiest), memories, and perceptions of the present are highly subjective and inaccurate. When we make choices about our futures based on this inaccurate information, those choices end up hindering our future happiness. For this reason, it seems that we more often stumble on happiness than successfully create it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Gilbert found that during moments of adversity in his life, he was incapable of understanding that his unhappiness would pass and that life would go back to normal\u2014in other words, he was fabricating a dark vision of the future<\/a> that didn\u2019t reflect what it would truly be like. He embarked on a journey to discover why he was unable to accurately predict the future<\/a> (and how he\u2019d feel about it), and his research in this area became the basis for his book. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Let\u2019s now cover the five reasons Gilbert believes it\u2019s difficult to discuss happiness objectively:<\/p>\n\n\n\n According to Gilbert, the first reason it\u2019s difficult to talk about happiness<\/a> is that you can\u2019t describe happiness unless you reference something else.<\/strong> You can only talk about happiness by saying what makes<\/em> you happy or what happiness is like. <\/em>You can\u2019t concretely say what happiness itself is<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n For instance, you might explain to a friend that the happiness you felt when your fianc\u00e9 proposed was like <\/em>the feeling of awakening to a warm spring morning, or you might show them a picture of your delighted face in an engagement photo. You can\u2019t, however, describe your happiness without these references. <\/p>\n\n\n\n (Shortform note: Gilbert contends that it\u2019s difficult to describe<\/em> happiness without using external comparisons. However, researchers have been able to discern with more ease what makes <\/em>you happy: In the seminal Harvard Study of Adult Development, which tracked the health and well-being of 268 Harvard students over the course of 80 years, researchers found that having strong relationships was the greatest predictor of happiness<\/a>.) <\/p>\n\n\n\n Another reason why Gilbert believes it\u2019s hard to describe happiness is that sometimes, we say we\u2019re happy, but we\u2019re only happy about <\/em>something<\/strong>. Being happy is different from being happy \u201cabout,\u201d which is commenting on someone else\u2019s happiness or the potential<\/em> to be happy. <\/p>\n\n\n\n For instance, you probably aren\u2019t happy that your neighbor left their dogs with you while they vacation in Hawaii, but you might say you\u2019re happy about <\/em>the fact that they\u2019re taking a break. In this case, you\u2019re commenting on your neighbor\u2019s happiness, rather than experiencing happiness directly. Later, you might say you\u2019ll be happy about<\/em> their return\u2014you\u2019re not happy now, but you\u2019re commenting on your potential future<\/em> happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n (Shortform note: Gilbert proposes that feeling happy about <\/em>something isn\u2019t the same as being happy. In fact, when you say you\u2019re happy for<\/em> someone or about<\/em> something, you might even be feeling the opposite of happiness: anger or envy. For example, if your neighbor leaves their dog with you while they go to Hawaii, you might feel anger over having more responsibility. When this occurs, balance out your negative feelings with positive ones by refraining from comparing yourself to the other person<\/a>. This reduces unhappiness that arises when you feel others have it better than you.) <\/p>\n\n\n\n Gilbert writes that we further struggle to talk about happiness because we often confuse virtuous behavior\u2014which only <\/strong>leads<\/em><\/strong> to happiness\u2014for happiness itself<\/strong>. You might thus think you\u2019re automatically happy when doing virtuous volunteer work at a soup kitchen. But this isn\u2019t true: You can volunteer virtuously for years, but if you don\u2019t enjoy the work, you won\u2019t feel genuine happiness. You\u2019ll only be making other people<\/em>\u2014the users of the soup kitchen\u2014happy through your behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n (Shortform note: Gilbert argues that virtuous behavior<\/a> isn\u2019t tantamount to happiness. Others go even further to argue that if you act virtuously with the expectation of it making you happy, it reduces the virtue of the act. In Skin in the Game<\/em><\/a>, <\/em>Nassim Nicholas Taleb<\/a> proposes that the smaller the reward you receive personally for a virtuous act, the more virtuous it is<\/a>. Indeed, virtuous behavior should make you somewhat uncomfortable, he says, because it should require you to make a sacrifice or take a risk.) <\/p>\n\n\n\n Another reason it\u2019s hard to speak about and compare levels of happiness, writes Gilbert, is that we all have different scales by which we measure happiness, yet none of us know what the other person\u2019s scale is. Therefore, we might unknowingly describe the same amount of happiness in different terms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Here\u2019s an example to illustrate this: You and your friend go to a doughnut shop and eat the same plain doughnut. You both have the same experience <\/em>of the doughnut (five units of fun, say), but afterward, you exclaim it was \u201cawesome!\u201d while your friend says it was \u201cokay.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n Gilbert writes that the explanation for this would be that your friend has had better doughnuts in the past that created, say, seven units of happiness, meaning comparatively, this \u201cfive units of happiness\u201d doughnut merits only an \u201cokay.\u201d You, on the other hand, have only ever eaten worse<\/em> doughnuts that created less<\/em> happiness (say, two units of happiness). You describe this one as \u201cawesome!\u201d because compared to your previous experiences, it seems<\/em> amazing on your \u201chappiness scale,\u201d even if it only really creates mid-level happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n (Shortform note: We might also look to culture and language to explain why different people describe things differently. American English is notoriously hyperbolic<\/a>, and Americans use explosive words where other cultures use milder ones. An \u201cawesome!\u201d to an American might correspond to a mere \u201cfine\u201d from a British person. To be accurately understood in a different culture, you might need to adopt the level of hyperbole common to that culture. An English person new to a job in the States might need to begin using words like \u201camazing\u201d and \u201cexcellent\u201d when they would have previously just used the word \u201cfine.\u201d)<\/p>\n\n\n\n The last reason it\u2019s hard to describe happiness is that sometimes, you\u2019re not aware you\u2019re happy<\/strong>, writes Gilbert. This is because the part of your brain that processes experience<\/em>\u2014the experience of happiness or anger, for instance\u2014is separate from the part of your brain that develops awareness <\/em>of the experience\u2014the conscious knowledge that you\u2019re happy or angry. You can therefore have a physiological experience of happiness but not register<\/em> that you\u2019re happy, explains Gilbert. <\/p>\n\n\n\n (Shortform note: Gilbert asserts that you don\u2019t always know when you\u2019re happy. Still, you can take steps to improve your awareness of your emotional state by meditating. Meditation<\/a> helps you be more present with your thoughts and feelings when they come up<\/a>. During meditation, you can even pose questions to yourself to become more in tune with your inner experience and promote further happiness. You might ask yourself what you\u2019re trying to accomplish in life now and what obstacles are in your way. This can make you both more aware of your feelings (for instance, frustration about the obstacles) and also of potential solutions to problems that can make you happier.)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Have you ever tried to describe happiness to someone? Why is it so difficult to discuss happiness in an objective way? Daniel Gilbert, Harvard professor and the author of Stumbling on Happiness, theorizes that happiness is difficult to describe and discuss for five specific reasons. Gilbert further theorizes that most of the time people don’t even realize when they’re happy or unhappy, which complicates the issue further. Here’s why it’s difficult to objectively discuss and describe happiness.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":64479,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[21,9,24],"tags":[605],"class_list":["post-64404","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-philosophy","category-psychology","category-society","tag-stumbling-on-happiness","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"\nTalking About Happiness<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Reason #1: Happiness Isn’t Concrete<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Reason #2: Sometimes, We\u2019re Only Happy <\/strong>About<\/em><\/strong> Something<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Reason #3: We Confuse Happiness With Virtue<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Reason #4: We Use Different Scales to Describe Happiness<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Reason #5: We Might Not Register That We\u2019re Happy<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n