{"id":64252,"date":"2022-04-05T18:48:00","date_gmt":"2022-04-05T22:48:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=64252"},"modified":"2022-04-13T12:38:18","modified_gmt":"2022-04-13T16:38:18","slug":"accountability-issues","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/accountability-issues\/","title":{"rendered":"What NOT to Do When Discussing Accountability Issues"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Are you facing accountability issues at work or in a relationship? What should you avoid when talking about accountability? <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The book <em>Crucial Accountability<\/em> helps readers recognize what not to do when discussing accountability issues. Many of these points can be used in other tough conversations too, not just for accountability issues. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Keep reading to tackle accountability issues in no time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-discussing-accountability-properly\"><strong>Discussing Accountability<\/strong> Properly<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>The authors stress the importance of understanding what <em>not<\/em> to do in an accountability conversation almost as much as what <em>to<\/em> do. Because we\u2019ve likely grown up watching people handle accountability issues incorrectly, these learned behaviors slip out when we least expect them to. By understanding what <em>not<\/em> to do, we can recognize and halt these behaviors as soon as we see ourselves enacting them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-before-giving-advice-listen-to-the-other-person-s-perspective\"><strong>Before Giving Advice, Listen to the Other Person\u2019s Perspective<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>The authors assert that we need to listen to the other person\u2019s point of view in order to make accurate judgments and solutions when dealing with accountability issues. The issue is about the other person, therefore, they\u2019re the ones who\u2019ll have the most information about what went wrong and why.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Without hearing the other person\u2019s perspective, you might be seeing the issue incorrectly or incompletely.<\/strong> For example, after hearing the other person\u2019s side of the story, you might realize that their reaction was correct in that particular situation, even if they failed to meet expectations.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-don-t-bias-their-response\"><strong>Don\u2019t Bias Their Response<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>The authors warn that when you\u2019re <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-brainstorm-effectively\/\">brainstorming<\/a> solutions, don\u2019t bias the other person\u2019s response by first <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/propose-a-solution\/\">proposing a solution<\/a> and then asking what they think.<\/strong> When you start off the discussion with something like \u201cto solve this problem I think that it\u2019s best to do X. What do you think?\u201d you\u2019re preventing new, and possibly better, solutions to enter the conversation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The authors explain that this strategy stifles the production of new and better ideas in two ways:&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ol class=\"wp-block-list\"><li><strong>You\u2019re putting ideas in the other person\u2019s head which can stifle any new solutions they might have come up with.<\/strong><\/li><li><strong>They might be hesitant to disagree with you.<\/strong><\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n<p>Instead, the authors advise that you ask open-ended questions that don\u2019t assume the solution.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-table\"><table><tbody><tr><td><strong>Don\u2019t Use Leading Questions<\/strong><br><br>This practice is called asking with <a href=\"https:\/\/www.psychologistworld.com\/memory\/leading-questions-eyewitness-testimony#:~:text=Intentionally%20or%20accidentally%2C%20leading%20questions,the%20answers%20given%20to%20questions.\">leading questions<\/a>: Leading questions are defined as questions that lead or persuade the other person to give a certain response.&nbsp;<br><br>These types of questions are banned from interrogations and research studies because of the effect they have on peoples\u2019 responses. When you ask a leading question, it&#8217;s unlikely that you\u2019ll receive the other person\u2019s genuine, unbiased response. So, as the authors recommend, if you truly want to receive the other person\u2019s opinions and the best possible solutions, avoid asking for their ideas with leading questions.<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-don-t-make-the-other-person-guess-what-you-re-thinking\"><strong>Don\u2019t Make the Other Person Guess What You\u2019re Thinking&nbsp;<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>The authors explain that if you already have a solution in mind, don\u2019t disingenuously ask the other person for their opinion until they eventually guess what you\u2019re thinking. <\/strong>Doing so is disrespectful and manipulative\u2014humans can\u2019t read minds, so don\u2019t expect them to.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Instead, the authors advise entering the conversation with an open mind and hearing the other person\u2019s recommendations before adding your input. You can have ideas about possible solutions, but don\u2019t enter the conversation with the belief that you already have the <em>best<\/em> solution. This is an important step in addressing accountability issues. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-don-t-cut-the-conversation-short\"><strong>Don\u2019t Cut the Conversation Short<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Keep the conversation flowing honestly and freely.<\/strong> The more information you have, the easier it is to pinpoint the underlying cause of the key issue. With this information, you can better pinpoint an effective solution.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-table\"><table><tbody><tr><td><strong>How to Keep the Conversation Flowing<\/strong><br>The authors recommend that we keep the conversation flowing in order to achieve the best solutions; however, they don\u2019t provide guidelines on how to do this. <a href=\"https:\/\/www.psychologytoday.com\/us\/blog\/cutting-edge-leadership\/201701\/the-5-keys-rewarding-conversation#:~:text=Others%20wish%20they%20could%20improve%20their,having%20a%20successful%20and%20rewarding\">Experts suggest that we can have a successful and rewarding conversation by<\/a>:<br><br>1. Making sure the conversation is roughly 50\/50. Make sure you\u2019re not speaking too much and dominating the conversation, or too little and forcing the other person to come up with irrelevant things to say to avoid awkward silence.<br>2. Using effective and active listening. Make eye contact and use <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/nonverbal-cues\/\">nonverbal cues<\/a> like nodding to encourage their response. Ask questions and reflect on information with comments like \u201cI understand how you feel\u201d or \u201cthat must have been difficult.\u201d<br>3. Using reciprocal disclosure. When the other person discloses something personal, try to disclose something equally as personal.<br>4. Be positive so that the other person knows you appreciate their time spent talking with you.<br>5. Regulating the flow of conversation by using pauses to speak up, and once you\u2019ve made your point inviting the other person to respond.<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-don-t-use-threats\"><strong>Don\u2019t Use Threats<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>The authors urge you to <strong>be aware of your motives when relaying natural consequences. <\/strong>If your intent is to threaten or intimidate the other person into doing what you want, they will likely react negatively.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-stop-talking-when-the-other-person-understands\"><strong>Stop Talking When the Other Person Understands<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>When you believe you\u2019ve reached a point where the other person understands the natural consequences and will comply, you can stop piling on more consequences<\/strong>. This may make the other person feel patronized, belittled, or discourage them from wanting to participate in future conversations.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Are you facing accountability issues at work or in a relationship? What should you avoid when talking about accountability? The book Crucial Accountability helps readers recognize what not to do when discussing accountability issues. Many of these points can be used in other tough conversations too, not just for accountability issues. Keep reading to tackle accountability issues in no time.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":15,"featured_media":4714,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[34,12],"tags":[600],"class_list":["post-64252","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-communication","category-relationships","tag-crucial-accountability","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.3 (Yoast SEO v24.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>What NOT to Do When Discussing Accountability Issues - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Accountability issues can be hard to bring up. Crucial Accountability teaches you what to avoid when discussing these sensitive topics.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/accountability-issues\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"What NOT to Do When Discussing Accountability Issues\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Accountability issues can be hard to bring up. Crucial Accountability teaches you what to avoid when discussing these sensitive topics.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/accountability-issues\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Shortform Books\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2022-04-05T22:48:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2022-04-13T16:38:18+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/tipping-point-weak-ties.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"781\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"516\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Melissa Stevens\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Melissa Stevens\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"4 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/accountability-issues\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/accountability-issues\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Melissa Stevens\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/5555e27a6d1e1737d0d16e586b815e2c\"},\"headline\":\"What NOT to Do When Discussing Accountability Issues\",\"datePublished\":\"2022-04-05T22:48:00+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2022-04-13T16:38:18+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/accountability-issues\/\"},\"wordCount\":908,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/accountability-issues\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/tipping-point-weak-ties.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"Crucial Accountability\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Communication\",\"Relationships\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/accountability-issues\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/accountability-issues\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/accountability-issues\/\",\"name\":\"What NOT to Do When Discussing Accountability Issues - Shortform Books\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/accountability-issues\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/accountability-issues\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/tipping-point-weak-ties.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2022-04-05T22:48:00+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2022-04-13T16:38:18+00:00\",\"description\":\"Accountability issues can be hard to bring up. 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