{"id":64098,"date":"2022-04-14T21:49:47","date_gmt":"2022-04-15T01:49:47","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=64098"},"modified":"2022-04-21T11:21:57","modified_gmt":"2022-04-21T15:21:57","slug":"why-do-we-lie-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/why-do-we-lie-2\/","title":{"rendered":"Why Do We Lie? Jordan Peterson Explains"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Why do we lie<\/a>? What’s really behind our efforts to conceal the truth? How does lying compromise your personal integrity? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may lie to get what we want or to make a certain impression. However, lying may not be the best strategy to achieve either of those things. According to Jordan Peterson, when we lie to others, we also lie to ourselves. In his book, 12 Rules for Life<\/em>, he says\u201cTell the truth\u2014or at least don’t lie\u201d for lying obscures your personal truth. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here’s why we lie<\/a>, according to Peterson. <\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

Why Do We Lie?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Why do we lie? Day to day, we may lie to the outside world to get what we want and to avoid pain. We tell lies to appear more competent, to gain status, to be well-liked, or to prevent conflict. This is us manipulating the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

On a deeper level, we may lie to ourselves about what we want. We might have a dream life envisioned by our younger selves, without probing carefully into whether we really want it (career and retirement goals are common examples here). We may entertain ideas about what we really want but deceive ourselves into thinking they\u2019re impossible to reach or undesirable after all. We then act in ways that we paper over with more lies, but deep down we know it\u2019s inconsistent with our beliefs, and we feel unsettled.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must beware of the big lie (in Hitler\u2019s terms)\u2014something so large and audacious that we cannot accept someone would intentionally fabricate it. This could be about who to blame for our faults or what we should do with our life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may not be actively misleading other people, but merely lying by omission. This isn\u2019t any better. <\/strong>If our boss does something we dislike, not confronting her about it is still lying\u2014we\u2019re acting inauthentically, not in accordance with our beliefs. If we habitually avoid conflict<\/a>, don\u2019t complain when mistreated, and suppress our own ideas, we\u2019re still lying to ourselves. This makes us feel weak because our existence has little real meaning. We\u2019ve become a tool to be used, obliterating our independence<\/a>.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even worse, on a meta-level, we may be in denial about lying to ourselves. We may believe that our truth is the only truth and that no amount of new knowledge can change what we believe. That all-important facts have been discovered and that everything will work out perfectly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our lie may begin with protecting ourselves from reality. We may believe reality is intolerable and must be distorted. We want to avoid that short-term pain. But after a certain point, the lies take on a life of their own<\/strong>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n