{"id":64080,"date":"2022-04-16T15:55:04","date_gmt":"2022-04-16T19:55:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=64080"},"modified":"2022-04-17T16:29:36","modified_gmt":"2022-04-17T20:29:36","slug":"how-to-gain-respect","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-gain-respect\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Gain Respect: Body Language Is Key"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Do you wish that people valued and respected you more? What can you do to make that happen?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Jordan Peterson argues that others will treat you with more respect if you simply <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/stand-up-straight-with-your-shoulders-back-jordan-peterson-rule-1\/\">stand up straight<\/a>. There&#8217;s a deeply-ingrained biological reason for this. Understanding the science behind it and leveraging it to your advantage can cause you to behave differently. As a result, people will treat you differently.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Read more to learn how to gain respect.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-how-to-gain-respect\">How to Gain Respect<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>In his book <em>12 Rules for Life<\/em>, Jordan Peterson explains how to gain respect using <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/body-language-crucial-conversations\/\">body language<\/a>. The key, he says, is to stand up straight. Here&#8217;s why. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-the-biology-of-social-status\">The Biology of Social Status<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Because social status is so important in life outcomes, you try to figure out where on the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/social-hierarchy-meaning\/\">social hierarchy<\/a> you are, you signal that position to other people, and you jockey for a higher position. Sound familiar? These are deeply evolved, biological behaviors.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>There is a primordial calculator in your brain (the medial <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/what-does-the-prefrontal-cortex-do-in-the-brain\/\">prefrontal cortex<\/a>) that monitors signals to figure out your position in society. It recognizes how others behave around you, and it infers your social standing. Then, based on where you think you are in the hierarchy, you change your perceptions, values, emotions, and actions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>If others kowtow to you, you believe you\u2019re higher on the social hierarchy.<\/li><li>If others belittle and reject you, you believe you\u2019re lower on the social hierarchy.&nbsp;<\/li><li>(Shortform note: There\u2019s an interesting experiment where an alpha male monkey is with a pack of other males, and the submissive behavior of the other males reinforces the alpha\u2019s perception of himself. But if you put the alpha male in front of a one-way mirror, where he can\u2019t see the submissive behavior of other males, he lowers his serotonin. The point is, seeing how others behave toward you is important for figuring out your hierarchy.)<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>Through <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/feedback-loop-meaning\/\">feedback loops<\/a>, you can become stuck in a low social position. You behave in a subordinate way, which makes others treat you as a subordinate, which makes you feel more subordinate, which makes you behave subordinate.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-how-body-language-affects-your-social-status\">How Body Language Affects Your Social Status<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>If all this is true, then\u2014to elevate your social status\u2014first <strong>you need to signal your confidence through external body language. <\/strong>Peterson suggests, \u201cstand up straight, with your shoulders back.\u201d People will perceive you as higher in social status, and they\u2019ll treat you as competent and able. This will then kick off a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/virtuous-cycle-john-malone\/\">virtuous cycle<\/a> &#8211; because you\u2019re receiving positive signals from others, you\u2019ll increase your own self-worth, which will make you act even more confidently.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This begins with your body language, but <strong>you also need to improve your self-beliefs. <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-speak-your-mind-without-fear\/\">Speak your mind<\/a>, put your desires forward, and dare to be dangerous.<\/strong> This is the beginning of developing self-respect, accepting the demands of life, marking your space, and standing up to tyranny.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Peterson suggests that there are people who specifically prey on those who behave submissively. This could cause an artificially low perception of status and make it hard to crawl out of your vicious cycle. Instead, if you kick off the change by appearing confident, people will treat you as though you have value.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Do you wish that people valued and respected you more? What can you do to make that happen? Jordan Peterson argues that others will treat you with more respect if you simply stand up straight. There&#8217;s a deeply-ingrained biological reason for this. Understanding the science behind it and leveraging it to your advantage can cause you to behave differently. As a result, people will treat you differently. Read more to learn how to gain respect.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9,"featured_media":64082,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[9,160,43],"tags":[41],"class_list":["post-64080","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-psychology","category-science","category-self-improvement","tag-12-rules-for-life","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.3 (Yoast SEO v24.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>How to Gain Respect: Body Language Is Key - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"You can leverage biology to your advantage, changing the way you behave and ultimately how people treat you. 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