{"id":6261,"date":"2020-01-11T21:20:40","date_gmt":"2020-01-12T01:20:40","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=6261"},"modified":"2022-03-18T15:47:03","modified_gmt":"2022-03-18T19:47:03","slug":"positive-labels","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/positive-labels\/","title":{"rendered":"Positive Labels: Why They\u2019re Actually Hurting Your Kids"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

While labeling<\/a> people negatively according to their perceived potential is often inaccurate and can hinder their development, positive labels and praise can also be detrimental<\/strong>. Are the positive labels you’re giving your kids hurting them?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We’ll cover the effects of positive labeling and discuss why your efforts to build children’s self-esteem actually hurt them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

The Dangers of <\/strong>Positive Labels<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Parents and teachers typically try to build children\u2019s self-confidence by praising their ability and giving them positive labels, but this can be harmful. Praising their ability sends the message that adults value ability and can determine a child\u2019s ability from his or her performance<\/strong>. This is a fixed mindset<\/a>. Here\u2019s how it plays out.
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Researchers gave early adolescent students ten problems to solve, then praised their performance in two different ways: some students were praised for their ability (\u201cYou must be smart at this\u201d; positive label: Genius), while another group was praised for their effort (\u201cIt looks like you worked really hard\u201d).
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Praising students for their ability and giving them an implicit positive label pushed them into a fixed mindset. <\/strong>When offered another difficult task that they could learn from, they rejected it, not wanting to show any cracks in their talent or positive labels by failing. However, the students who were praised for effort (a growth-minded approach) wanted to take on the new challenge.
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Researchers then gave all the students new problems, on which they didn\u2019t do well. The children praised for ability and given positive labels began feeling like failures \u2014 they\u2019d been told that their earlier success meant they were smart so now they felt stupid. Their performance steadily declined. In contrast, the students who were praised for effort tried harder and their performance continued to improve. 
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What\u2019s more, when asked to write a report on the experience, almost 40 percent of the children praised for their ability lied about their performance. Telling children they were smart and giving them positive labels hurt their performance and turned them into liars<\/strong>. 
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Positive Labels Make Kids Vulnerable to Opinion<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Besides dealing with stereotyping, many girls and women struggle with others\u2019 opinions in general. The reason is that when girls are young, adults praise them for being cute or perfect (positive labels), which teaches them to trust others\u2019 opinions of whether they\u2019re good or bad. They carry this trust into adulthood \u2014 even women at top universities say other people\u2019s opinions are a good way to know their abilities. 
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Often, boys are less susceptible to others\u2019 opinions because adults criticize and scold boys more than girls, and many boys are also accustomed to insulting and calling each other names (slob or idiot). Consequently, boys learn to shrug off the opinions of others.
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Tips<\/strong> for Avoiding the Trap of Positive Labels<\/h2>\n\n\n\n