What are the dangers of being an “open book”\u2014being too honest about your feelings, beliefs, and intentions? How can excessive honesty work against you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
People tend to be \u201copen books\u201d because talking about feelings and intentions comes naturally. There are two reasons for that: 1) watching your mouth \u2014 monitoring and controlling what you say\u2014takes effort, and 2) they believe honesty and openness will win people over.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Here’s how being too honest can work against you. <\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n
Many people wear their feelings on their sleeves. And when it comes to plans and intentions, they\u2019re quick to tell all at the slightest provocation. But being too honest can work against you. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Always hide your true intentions. If you keep people off-balance and in the dark, they can\u2019t counter your efforts. Send them down the wrong path with a decoy and by the time they realize what you\u2019re up to, it will be too late for them to interfere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
To deceive people about your real intentions, take preemptive action to mislead by using decoys and red herrings. Use tools such as fake sincerity, ambiguity, and lures\u2014and people won\u2019t be able to differentiate the genuine from the false to see your goal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
However, honesty has distinct downsides:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Rather than being an appealing characteristic, honesty is likely to offend people. It\u2019s often better to tell people what they want to hear rather than the less flattering truth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If you\u2019re totally honest and open, people won\u2019t respect or fear you because you\u2019ll be predictable (to wield power, you need others\u2019 respect and fear).<\/p>\n\n\n\n
In contrast, you can gain and maintain the upper hand by hiding your intentions. Fortunately, hiding your intentions is easy because it\u2019s human nature to trust appearances; the alternative of doubting the reality of what you see and hear \u2014 imagining there\u2019s always something else behind it \u2014 is too exhausting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So present a decoy or red herring like Otto von Bismarck<\/a> \u2014 something phony that\u2019s intended to attract attention<\/a> and thus mislead \u2014 and people will take the appearance for reality, and won\u2019t notice what you\u2019re really doing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Conversely, you can pretend to want something you\u2019re not actually interested in, like Otto von Bismarck, and your opponents will be confused and miscalculated.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" What are the dangers of being an “open book”\u2014being too honest about your feelings, beliefs, and intentions? How can excessive honesty work against you? People tend to be \u201copen books\u201d because talking about feelings and intentions comes naturally. There are two reasons for that: 1) watching your mouth \u2014 monitoring and controlling what you say\u2014takes effort, and 2) they believe honesty and openness will win people over. Here’s how being too honest can work against you.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":18967,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[34,9],"tags":[38],"class_list":["post-61611","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-communication","category-psychology","tag-48-laws-of-power","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"\n