{"id":59444,"date":"2022-01-30T20:15:00","date_gmt":"2022-01-31T00:15:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=59444"},"modified":"2022-01-31T12:25:08","modified_gmt":"2022-01-31T16:25:08","slug":"dalai-lama-advice","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/dalai-lama-advice\/","title":{"rendered":"The Dalai Lama’s Advice: 5 Steps to Happiness"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

What are the main teachings of the Dalai Lama? What advice does he profess?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In his book The Art of Happiness<\/em> (co-authored with psychiatrist Howard C. Cutler), His Holiness the Dalai Lama walks you down the Buddhist path towards happiness. The Dalai Lama\u2019s advice for achieving happiness is unique in its simplicity and flexibility: learn where your emotions come from and make the effort to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We\u2019ll discuss several strategies to make that effort.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

Strategy #1: Develop Your Self-Worth<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

According to the Dalai Lama, to actively cultivate your happiness mindset, develop your sense of self-worth<\/a>, regardless of external circumstances<\/strong>. You don\u2019t need possessions, beauty, or titles to validate you as a human. It\u2019s important to not attach your self-worth to such things, he adds, as they can diminish over time, meaning your self-worth does the same.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Shortform note: The Dalai Lama advises you to develop your self-worth to cultivate a happiness mindset. Doing this is important for practical reasons, too: When you lack self-worth, you might engage in destructive behaviors<\/a> in your quest to \u201cearn\u201d your right to exist. In Dare to Lead<\/a>, <\/em>Bren\u00e9 Brown writes about employees who overwork themselves to prove their worth<\/a>. This has negative consequences for the individual and the company.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Strategy #2: Combat Negative Emotions With Positive Ones<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

When they arise, counter negative emotions with positive ones<\/strong>, says the Dalai Lama. For instance, when you find yourself consumed with self-reproach over a bad test grade, tell yourself that your worth isn\u2019t dependent on grades and practice kindness toward yourself. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Shortform note: For Bren\u00e9 Brown, self-compassion<\/a> is a key tool for combating negative feelings<\/a>, particularly harmful perfectionism. Brown breaks self-compassion into three parts: 1) Self-forgiveness<\/a>, 2) self-awareness, and 3) recognition that you\u2019re not the only person struggling with negative feelings.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Cutler adds that Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, or CBT, is a close therapeutic equivalent to the Dalai Lama\u2019s process of combating negative emotions with positive ones. In CBT, you counter distorted thoughts\u2014like the belief that your work must be perfect\u2014with rational ones\u2014like the understanding that you\u2019re human and can\u2019t do everything perfectly. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Shortform note: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy has a lot in common with this book\u2019s approach to seeking happiness<\/a> beyond this strategy of countering negative feelings with positive ones. In The Art of Happiness<\/em>, you learn how to change your mind to be more conducive to happiness. In CBT, you similarly change or shift destructive thought patterns<\/a>, like black-and-white thinking or catastrophizing. Both approaches aim to alter your mental framework.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Strategy #3: Compare Yourself Favorably<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Cutler chimes in to advise that you think about how much better off you are than others<\/strong> rather than about how much better off others are than you to change your mindset<\/a>. Your happiness is largely dependent on how well you perceive yourself compared to others. You therefore can decide if you\u2019ll be happy or disgruntled by comparing yourself to either those who are worse off or those who are better off. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Shortform note: Cutler argues that happiness is relative<\/a> and that you can make yourself happier by refraining from comparing yourself to those who are better off. But there\u2019s also evidence that certain circumstances can unconditionally increase or decrease happiness. Living amidst war, poverty, or in isolation<\/a>, for instance, can make you unhappy, no matter how much worse off someone else may be.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Strategy #4: Appreciate What You Have<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Change your mindset by being <\/strong>grateful<\/em><\/strong> for the things and qualities you do possess, rather than <\/strong>yearning<\/em><\/strong> for those you don\u2019t<\/strong>, says the Dalai Lama. The reason for this is practical: If you try to constantly acquire better things, you\u2019ll eventually run out of things to acquire. When that happens, you\u2019ll become unhappy. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Shortform note: The Dalai Lama brings up a practical reason to cultivate an appreciation for what you have. But in Buddhism, yearning or \u201ccraving,\u201d as it\u2019s commonly referred to, is the actual source of suffering<\/a>, as described in the Second Noble Truth. This is because satisfying cravings creates only temporary pleasure\u2014like eating sweets. Once that pleasure fades, you\u2019re struck with a new craving and must satisfy that. This craving-and-satisfying keeps you locked in Samsara, the endless cycle of birth, suffering, and death<\/a>.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Strategy #5: Prioritize Happiness Over Pleasure<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Learn the distinction between happiness and pleasure, and prioritize the pursuit of happiness<\/strong> to strengthen your happiness mindset, advises the Dalai Lama. Happiness is a lasting state of non-suffering while pleasure is ephemeral, contingent on factors outside of your control. A good meal is an example of pleasure: It eventually ends. Happiness, on the other hand, lets you be content even when the meal is over, or even if you don\u2019t get to enjoy a meal. (Shortform note: The Dalai Lama recommends prioritizing happiness<\/a> over pleasure, but you could argue that sometimes, it\u2019s better to prioritize fleeting pleasures over long-term happiness. Research indicates that pursuing pleasure can lead to better emotional health<\/a> while perpetually denying oneself pleasures\u2014food, entertainment, sex, and so on\u2014can lead to distress and anxiety. Perhaps the key is to carefully balance pleasure with happiness and ensure pleasures have a more lasting effect on your life by reflecting on or journaling about them.)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

What are the main teachings of the Dalai Lama? What advice does he profess? In his book The Art of Happiness (co-authored with psychiatrist Howard C. Cutler), His Holiness the Dalai Lama walks you down the Buddhist path towards happiness. The Dalai Lama\u2019s advice for achieving happiness is unique in its simplicity and flexibility: learn where your emotions come from and make the effort to change. We\u2019ll discuss several strategies to make that effort.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":3312,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[43,6],"tags":[571],"class_list":["post-59444","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-self-improvement","category-spiritual","tag-the-art-of-happiness","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"\nThe Dalai Lama's Advice: 5 Steps to Happiness - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"The Dalai Lama\u2019s advice for achieving happiness is unique in its simplicity: understand your mind and make the effort to change. 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