How can you tell someone is playing a mind game on you? What are the different types of mind games people play?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mind game psychology is complex because there are many different types of games people play on each other. In his book Games People Play<\/a>, <\/em>psychiatrist Eric Berne provides a framework for analyzing mind games and understanding why people get tangled up in negative interactions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n In this article, you’ll learn how to analyze ming games according to Eric Berne’s Transactional Analysis<\/a> framework. <\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n In this article, we\u2019ll put together an in-depth illustration of one mind<\/a> game\u2014\u201cGood Vibes Only.\u201d This will help you better understand the psychology of mind games<\/a>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n After a description of the game, we\u2019ll break it down with Eric Berne\u2019s analytical framework. This allows us to look more specifically at each aspect of the game, and we\u2019ll also comment where Berne\u2019s ideas have fallen out of date.<\/p>\n\n\n\n First, note that Berne describes two forms of mind game analysis:<\/p>\n\n\n\n 1. Practical Game Analysis<\/strong> addresses one specific instance of a game. You first identify the game as a general pattern and then gather specific background knowledge about the individuals involved. This enables you to assess the specific situation and tailor-make an appropriate solution.<\/p>\n\n\n\n You might know someone who plays \u201cWasn\u2019t Me\u201d (they won\u2019t own up to the messes they make). If you don\u2019t know their personal history, though, you can\u2019t really understand their specific version of it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n (Shortform note: Keep in mind that Berne\u2019s method is distinct from game theory<\/em><\/a>, <\/em>which considers how fully rational agents would act in pre-defined arenas. A classic example is the prisoner\u2019s dilemma, wherein an interrogator incentivizes each of two criminals to confess (they\u2019ll go free,) condemning the other to a long sentence. If both confess, both get sentenced; if neither do, they stymie the prosecutor. T.A., on the other hand, deals with non-rational agents\u2014games in Berne\u2019s sense are driven by emotion, not reason. And some argue that mathematical game theory is useless<\/a>, because it deals with pure theory\u2014logic-based analyses that depend on the theorist\u2019s predefined premises. Berne, on the other hand, took on the messy challenge of describing complex, real-world phenomena. As he put it, the games T.A. deals with are \u201cmore real.\u201d)<\/p>\n\n\n\n 2. Theoretical Game Analysis<\/strong> distills many instances of a game into a generalized pattern. According to Berne, you can use that model to identify a game all across the world, regardless of culture. However, Berne states that he didn\u2019t study games across cultures, calling that a job for sociology. <\/p>\n\n\n\n (Shortform note: Berne\u2019s Theoretical Game Analysis seeks to generalize game patterns and apply them all across the world\u2014which can seem implausible, given the huge diversity of behaviors and lifestyles across cultures. But consider the notion of human universals, cultural traits that appear across the world<\/a>. Donald Brown, an American anthropologist, originally proposed 67 universals, ranging from music-making to healing, burial rituals, and the notion of history. Many of these are more elemental (conflict, mediation, courtship rituals) than Berne\u2019s games, but they may support the existence of common behavioral patterns<\/a> across cultures. All the same, the modern ITAA seems not to have an updated list of games, global or not.<\/a>)<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cGood Vibes Only\u201d is a variant of \u201cToxic Positivity.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n Player A is a regular guy who believes something like \u201cNegativity is awful; just be positive!\u201d He\u2019s typically pretty happy, though the inevitable emotional lows throw him off. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Someone close to A, like a child or partner, struggles with depression. This is Player B. Player A and Player B live together, so A is often exposed to B\u2019s low, heavy emotions. <\/p>\n\n\n\n He doesn\u2019t much like this. A often gets frustrated with B, who tends to \u201ckill his vibe.\u201d But A is at heart a good person and wants to help B to be more positive. His motives conflict: A tries to help but gets frustrated with B\u2019s persistent gloominess. A is impatient; he wants B better now<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n This tends to worsen B\u2019s situation. B doesn\u2019t need quick-fix solutions; she needs empathy and patience. B gets upset when A tries to force her to \u201cjust be positive,\u201d and they fight each time. Then they storm off in opposite directions, and A broods\u2014\u201cGod, I hate how negative she is. Why can\u2019t she just be happy?\u201d At the same time, B feels even more alone. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Their fighting confirms A\u2019s belief\u2014negativity brings bad experiences\u2014and reinforces his game. He\u2019ll soon be back at it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n With the game laid out, let\u2019s break the mind game psychology. Berne lists several items to analyze, which we\u2019ve condensed into two phases\u2014description and solution\u2014for clarity. We\u2019ll briefly explain each, then show where it applies to the game.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The Description: <\/strong>First, describe the game in detail. Lay out the series of events and include any details you know of the player\u2019s histories (trauma, parental influences, etc.). If it\u2019s your game, try to view yourself objectively, taking time to reflect on your own psychological history.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Feel free to glance back at our description above to pick out how the game unfolds. Note also the specifics we\u2019ve included about each player\u2019s psychology.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The Purpose: <\/strong>Next, consider the player\u2019s purpose: Why do they (or you) play this game? While the general aim of a game is to validate your beliefs, that validation has a specific character\u2014vindication, reassurance, righteous triumph, and so on. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Berne doesn\u2019t detail where these come from, but we can infer that they depend on how the player enacts their belief. In \u201cGood Vibes Only\u201d as above, Player A denies his own negative emotions. He\u2019s actually very anxious, so he acts on the belief \u201cNegativity is awful; just be positive!\u201d in an impatient, fearful way. He seeks reassurance\u2014that he\u2019s right, that he\u2019s OK.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The Characters:<\/strong> Now describe the characters required for the game. Remember that you play from a belief, and you enact that belief in a certain way. Each game requires certain \u201cacts\u201d in order to work. For example, \u201cAlcoholic\u201d is played with the Drunk, the Dealer, the Rescuer, and often an Antagonizer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cGood Vibes Only\u201d calls for a Gray Knight and a Depressive\u2014respectively, Player A and Player B. A Gray Knight is someone who embodies the saying, \u201cThe road to hell is paved with good intentions.\u201d A Depressive is an emotionally depleted individual, who\u2019s usually difficult to help.<\/p>\n\n\n\n (Shortform note: Berne\u2019s \u201croles\u201d (above characters<\/em>) have since been expanded by Bernd Schmid, a prominent figure in the European Association for Transactional Analysis<\/a> (EATA). He holds that an individual is composed of their full range of roles<\/a>. In other words, you are the sum of the many hats you wear\u2014stressed-but-caring partner, ambitious freelancer, reliable friend, coffee evangelist, and so on. This is much like the theory of subpersonalities advanced by Jon Rowan<\/a>, which states that distinct aspects of your personality come online to deal with different situations, like a social confrontation or when meeting someone new. Lastly, we might connect this to the idea that consciousness is an emergent phenomenon<\/a>: It arises out of the complex interconnection of many parts\u2014like your experience of being a \u201cself\u201d arises from many subpersonalities<\/a> seamlessly interacting.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n The Steps: <\/strong>Several moves compose a game, and we can generalize these from enough samples. Berne says that each move provides recognition: Each is an exchange. He describes the moves in general terms, as below. These help you to identify the general pattern.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Examples: <\/strong>Many games originate in childhood, and finding the childhood form often helps to make sense of the adult game. \u201cHypochondriac,\u201d Berne shows, follows from a childhood habit of playing up little hurts to gain benefits.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Interpretation: <\/strong>To better understand your game, reflect on what early experiences you\u2019ve had that may have led you to form an unhealthy belief. Here Berne makes reference to Freud\u2019s psychosexual stages, describing games as coming from things like \u201cphobic sources\u201d or \u201cpenis envy,\u201d but this style of interpretation isn\u2019t widely used anymore<\/a>.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n Instead, try to recall the significant experiences from your childhood, and think through what could reasonably follow. For example, the adult player of \u201cGood Vibes Only\u201d may have had a parent who got upset whenever they weren\u2019t happy. So as a child, they learned that forcing yourself to be positive is how you avoid uncomfortable emotions. Now, they impose that same belief on others.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Benefits:<\/strong> Often we keep playing games because they feel rewarding, albeit shallowly so. Find these rewards and you\u2019ll be better equipped to stretch beyond the comfort zone the game provides. Maybe you feel validated when you argue with your partner, or get pleasure from telling people how wrong they are\u2014whatever it is, note them down (and prepare to give them up).<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cGood Vibes Only\u201d rewards the player with a feeling of superiority\u2014\u201cI get it, why can\u2019t she? All you gotta do is be positive!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n (Shortform note: Behavioral psychology also involves identifying a bad habit\u2019s reward<\/a>. But they don\u2019t use antithesis: Instead, the common strategies are to punish your bad behaviors (if you scroll too much, you have to work for 15 minutes more a day) or remove their rewards (it means no phone for a day). Behavioral psychology also holds that you need to form a positively rewarding behavior to take the place of the old habit. Berne doesn\u2019t address this point, and Games People Play <\/em>stops short of discussing how to form new, healthier relationship habits. In Attached<\/a>,<\/em> authors Amir Levine and Rachel Heller argue that the key to a healthy relationship is understanding your attachment style\u2014secure, avoidant, or anxious\u2014and learning to communicate openly and honestly, like a secure attacher.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n Solutions:<\/strong> While Berne states that you can only fully understand a game in the clinical situation, we can still solve our own games. Games on paper aren\u2019t quite the real thing\u2014a theoretical description of a game necessarily compresses it\u2014so don\u2019t forget to consider your unique life circumstances when crafting a solution.<\/p>\n\n\n\n If you learned to play \u201cGood Vibes Only\u201d as a way to keep a parent happy, you might consider whether you\u2019ve repressed your own negative emotions. A good solution could then be to show yourself that you don\u2019t actually feel positive all the time, contradicting the belief and opening you up to a fuller experience of your own emotions. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" How can you tell someone is playing a mind game on you? What are the different types of mind games people play? Mind game psychology is complex because there are many different types of games people play on each other. In his book Games People Play, psychiatrist Eric Berne provides a framework for analyzing mind games and understanding why people get tangled up in negative interactions. In this article, you’ll learn how to analyze ming games according to Eric Berne’s Transactional Analysis framework.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":9782,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[9,12],"tags":[568],"class_list":["post-59083","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-psychology","category-relationships","tag-games-people-play","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"\nAnalyzing Mind Games<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Mind Game Example: \u201cGood Vibes Only\u201d<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Analyzing the Game<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n
Describing the Game<\/h5>\n\n\n\n
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Resolving the Game<\/h5>\n\n\n\n