{"id":58573,"date":"2022-01-13T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2022-01-13T16:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=58573"},"modified":"2022-01-26T11:42:37","modified_gmt":"2022-01-26T15:42:37","slug":"stoic-acceptance","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/stoic-acceptance\/","title":{"rendered":"Ryan Holiday: The Art of Stoic Acceptance"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>How do you practice Stoic acceptance? How does cultivating total acceptance of the things that are beyond your control help you move forward in life? <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Acceptance is one of the key tenets of Stoic philosophy. Once you\u2019ve learned to face life with stoic acceptance and peacefully accept whatever is beyond your control, you can channel all your energy into achieving your goals\u2014instead of ruminating about your powerlessness. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Keep reading to learn about the art of Stoic acceptance and how to put it into practice. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-accept-things-for-what-they-are\"><strong>Accept Things for What They Are<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Stoics divide everything in the world into two categories: what is in our control and what is outside our control. Some aspects of life are impossible to change\u2014for instance, the actions of others, or a tragedy that has already happened. Holding an emotional grudge against a reality you can\u2019t change will only make it more difficult to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/steps-to-achieve-your-goals\/\">achieve your goals<\/a>. Instead, peaceably accept things for what they are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Stoic acceptance is not the same as giving up\u2014accepting something that\u2019s impossible to change doesn\u2019t require losing hope. On the contrary, it\u2019s only after accepting the constraints you\u2019re given that you can channel your energy and attention into alternative ways to achieve your goals. There are always paths leading forward, but you won\u2019t be able to see them if you refuse to abandon dead ends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You don\u2019t have to like something to accept it\u2014just face facts. Once you do so, you\u2019ll often be able to embrace their upsides. <strong>By accepting constraints as a fact of life, you can use them to become a better person.<\/strong> Once-disheartening roadblocks may push you to develop new skills or teach you valuable lessons for the future.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-table\"><table><tbody><tr><td><strong>Accepting <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-negative-unhelpful-thoughts-set-you-back\/\">Unhelpful Thoughts<\/a><\/strong><br><br>In <a href=\"https:\/\/shortform.com\/app\/book\/the-happiness-trap\"><em>The Happiness Trap<\/em><\/a>, Russ Harris explains how readers can use something called \u201cAcceptance and Commitment Therapy,\u201d or \u201cACT,\u201d to find happiness in their lives. Harris uses the same rationale as Holiday to support his advice: We should focus on what we can control and peaceably accept whatever is out of our control. Harris, however, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/app\/book\/the-happiness-trap\/principle-2\">gets more specific than Holiday, applying this logic to <em>negative thoughts<\/em>.<\/a> Just as Holiday suggests you accept unpleasant constraints you can\u2019t change and focus on paths leading forward,<strong> Harris suggests you accept thoughts that don\u2019t serve you and focus on thoughts that do.<\/strong><br><br>Harris explains that by recognizing that negative thoughts are merely words and images that may or may not reflect reality, you\u2019ll no longer see them as threats or mandates. Instead, you\u2019ll see them as <em>suggestions<\/em>, some helpful, some unhelpful. <strong>If a negative thought pushes you toward something you can change, it\u2019s helpful, and you should act on it. <\/strong>If it pushes you toward something you can\u2019t change, you need to <em>accept it and ignore it<\/em>.<br><br>Some negative thoughts are useful. For example, if you feel bad that you forgot your spouse\u2019s birthday, this unpleasant feeling can motivate you to be more caring and attentive in the future. On the other hand, some negative thoughts are unhelpful. For example, thinking the vague statement \u201cI\u2019m a bad person\u201d doesn\u2019t direct you toward anything constructive. In this case, Harris recommends you make space for the feeling and allow it to pass.<br><br>This is a perfect example of Holiday\u2019s perspective on acceptance in action: Accepting unhelpful negative thoughts doesn\u2019t mean giving up and remaining unhappy\u2014on the contrary, it frees you to take advantage of the negative thoughts that can help you become a happier person. In short, accepting and ignoring the things you can\u2019t change allows you to focus your actions where they can make a difference.<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-celebrate-everything-that-happens\"><strong>Celebrate Everything That Happens<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Once you\u2019ve learned to peacefully accept whatever is beyond your control, Holiday argues you should take it one step further and learn to <em>celebrate<\/em> disasters. <strong>Tragic events are inevitable, but your emotional response to them is largely under your control\u2014why not find a way for them to make you happy? <\/strong>Holiday is adamant that the opportunities hidden within any tragedy are more than enough to justify gratitude and celebration.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Additionally, Holiday argues that <strong>finding and embracing the good within the bad is your ultimate source of motivation.<\/strong> If you claim it, no obstacle can ever wear you down. Stay upbeat in all situations\u2014act as if anything that happens is the best thing that could have happened.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-table\"><table><tbody><tr><td><strong>The Origin of <em>Amor Fati<\/em>: Eternal Recurrence<\/strong><br><br>Holiday refers to this sentiment as <em>amor fati<\/em>, a Latin phrase meaning \u201clove of fate.\u201d Although the ancient Stoics Epictetus and Marcus Aurelius <a href=\"https:\/\/dailystoic.com\/amor-fati-love-of-fate\/\">were the first to express the idea of celebrating everything that happens<\/a>, the phrase <em>amor fati<\/em> <a href=\"https:\/\/www.thoughtco.com\/nietzsches-idea-of-the-eternal-recurrence-2670659\">was coined by the German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche in his book <em>The Gay Science <\/em>(1882)<\/a>.<br><br>While Holiday frames <em>amor fati<\/em> primarily as a source of motivation to accomplish your goals, Nietzsche presents the idea as the guiding principle of a great life. He first arrives at the concept of <em>amor fati<\/em> through a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/philosophical-thought-experiments\/\">thought experiment<\/a>: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.thoughtco.com\/nietzsches-idea-of-the-eternal-recurrence-2670659\">the hypothetical situation of \u201ceternal recurrence.\u201d<\/a> What if, after death, you had to live your life over again an infinite number of times in exactly the same way? Nietzsche <a href=\"https:\/\/iep.utm.edu\/nietzsch\/#H7\">concludes that the ideal thing to do in this situation would be to face life with <em>amor fati<\/em><\/a>\u2014if your life is already predetermined, the only way you could improve your life is by choosing to celebrate tragedy, just as Holiday describes.<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>How do you practice Stoic acceptance? How does cultivating total acceptance of the things that are beyond your control help you move forward in life? Acceptance is one of the key tenets of Stoic philosophy. Once you\u2019ve learned to face life with stoic acceptance and peacefully accept whatever is beyond your control, you can channel all your energy into achieving your goals\u2014instead of ruminating about your powerlessness. Keep reading to learn about the art of Stoic acceptance and how to put it into practice.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":22992,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[21,6],"tags":[259],"class_list":["post-58573","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-philosophy","category-spiritual","tag-the-obstacle-is-the-way","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.3 (Yoast SEO v24.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Ryan Holiday: The Art of Stoic Acceptance - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Acceptance is one of the key tenets of Stoic philosophy. 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