{"id":57959,"date":"2022-01-13T13:21:00","date_gmt":"2022-01-13T17:21:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=57959"},"modified":"2022-01-18T16:50:47","modified_gmt":"2022-01-18T20:50:47","slug":"the-happiness-trap-quotes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/the-happiness-trap-quotes\/","title":{"rendered":"The Happiness Trap: Quotes by Russ Harris"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Are you looking for The Happiness Trap<\/em> quotes by Russ Harris? What are some of the most noteworthy passages worth revisiting? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

In The Happiness Trap<\/em>, therapist and life coach Russ Harris argues that the human pursuit of happiness makes us miserable today, leading to widespread anxiety, stress, and depression. Harris contends the real answer to escape the “happiness trap” is through the techniques of ACT, or Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here is a selection of passages with explanations to help you put them into context. <\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

The Happiness Trap: Stop Struggling, Start Living<\/em><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

In The Happiness Trap<\/em>, therapist and life coach Russ Harris argues that humans are hardwired to relentlessly pursue happiness. But this instinct makes us miserable today, leading to widespread anxiety, stress, and depression. We\u2019re caught in a happiness trap, where the harder we try to be happy<\/a>, the less happy we become. Harris contends the answer to happiness and fulfillment is practicing the techniques of ACT, or Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. The techniques\u2014rooted in behavioral psychology and mindfulness\u2014help you escape the happiness trap by accepting painful thoughts and emotions<\/a> as part of life, while clarifying and living your values.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The following The Happiness Trap <\/em>quotes highlight some of the key ideas discussed in the book. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cSo here is the happiness trap in a nutshell: to find happiness, we try to avoid or get rid of bad feelings, but the harder we try, the more bad feelings we create.\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

According to Harris, our pursuit of happiness is, paradoxically enough, one of the main causes of unhappiness<\/a>. Our instincts hardwired us to relentlessly pursue happiness but these same instincts make us miserable today\u2014our continual efforts to be happy lead instead to stress, anxiety, and greater unhappiness. We\u2019re caught in a happiness trap.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIn ACT, our main interest in a thought is not whether it\u2019s true or false, but whether it\u2019s helpful; that is, if we pay attention to this thought, will it help us create the life we want?\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

In Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, the goal is not to determine the veracity of a thought\u2014whether it is true or false. Rather, it is to identify thoughts that are helpful, that is, whether they align with our goals and values. Harris advises asking, \u201cIs this thought helpful?\u201d <\/strong>If yes, then the observing self<\/a> gives you the power to allow that thought to guide you toward effective action. If no, then the observing self gives you the power to let the thought go and refocus your attention somewhere more helpful. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBasically, expansion means making room for our feelings. If we give unpleasant feelings enough space, they no longer stretch us or strain us.\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

In ACT, expansion is a technique that uses our observing self to create space in our body to accept our emotions, rather than fight against them. Harris identifies four steps to expansion:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Step 1: Use your observing self to connect with the sensations in your body.<\/strong> Take a few moments and notice the sensations or discomfort in each area of your body. Remember that we register emotions as physical sensations\u2014essentially you\u2019re scanning your body for negative emotions so that you can respond to them. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Focus on the least comfortable sensation in your body. Notice its dimensions: Is it large or small? Uniform or irregular? How deeply do you feel the sensation? If you can, visualize this sensation as a distinct object with its own material and properties. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Step 2: Use deep breathing to explore the sensation.<\/strong> As you scan the uncomfortable sensation, focus on breathing deeply. Your deep breathing should decrease the tension in your body. As your tension decreases, imagine your deep breath forming an eggshell-like shelter around the discomfort.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Step 3: Make additional room in your body for the sensation.<\/strong> Imagine that eggshell growing in size until your body can freely accommodate the discomfort. Rather than the feeling that the sensation is trapped in your body, causing disruption and tension, you should feel that the sensation has room to move and grow, because your breathing can accommodate it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Step 4: Tolerate the sensation, and give it space to exist.<\/strong> Accept the emotion, rather than entertaining your thinking self, which might be saying that the emotion is a threat (and therefore something you need to eliminate). <\/p>\n\n\n\n

If your thinking self is still active, use it to reinforce the goal of expansion<\/em>: acceptance. This is called \u201cacceptance self-talk.\u201d For instance, you could say out loud, \u201cThis is a difficult feeling, but there\u2019s enough space in my body to accommodate it.\u201d While, eventually, you want to be able to practice expansion using only your observing self, these words can help in the interim. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThus, evolution has shaped our brains so that we are hardwired to suffer psychologically: to compare, evaluate, and criticize ourselves, to focus on what we\u2019re lacking, to rapidly become dissatisfied with what we have, and to imagine all sorts of frightening scenarios, most of which will never happen. No wonder humans find it hard to be happy!\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Harris argues the natural state for humans is psychological discomfort rather than happiness. He notes that the human brain has evolved with three traits that primitive humans needed to survive:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

  1. The ability to detect threats and avoid them. <\/li>
  2. The ability to fit into a group. A primitive human couldn\u2019t afford to be kicked out and left to fend for himself. <\/li>
  3. An accumulate-and-improve mentality. A primitive human needed to accumulate enough food to last his clan through lean times. <\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n

    These traits have persisted on the evolutionary time scale, although they\u2019re not helpful to us today because: <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    1. We no longer need threat detection and avoidance to protect us from predators in the wild. Instead, this instinct makes us detect imaginary threats, such as the possibility that we\u2019ll never get married, or that a random ache is a symptom of a serious disease. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    2. The ability to fit in is no longer the deciding factor in whether we starve to death, but we still compare ourselves to others<\/a> and worry about whether we are normal. In the world of social media, where everybody is pushing an idealized version of themselves, this part of our brain looks at others and makes us worry that we compare unfavorably.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    3. Our ability to accumulate and improve no longer determines whether we live or die. Still, our brains drive us to constantly accumulate more wealth, status, and happiness and to improve our lives as much as possible\u2014but even when we accomplish these goals and improve our lives, the satisfaction doesn\u2019t last long. So we quickly return to the cycle of accumulation and try to get even more.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Are you looking for The Happiness Trap quotes by Russ Harris? What are some of the most noteworthy passages worth revisiting? In The Happiness Trap, therapist and life coach Russ Harris argues that the human pursuit of happiness makes us miserable today, leading to widespread anxiety, stress, and depression. Harris contends the real answer to escape the “happiness trap” is through the techniques of ACT, or Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. Here is a selection of passages with explanations to help you put them into context.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":45304,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[40,9],"tags":[565],"class_list":["post-57959","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-books","category-psychology","tag-the-happiness-trap","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"\nThe Happiness Trap: Quotes by Russ Harris - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Are you looking for The Happiness Trap quotes by Russ Harris? 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