{"id":57800,"date":"2022-01-11T13:56:50","date_gmt":"2022-01-11T17:56:50","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=57800"},"modified":"2022-01-11T13:57:34","modified_gmt":"2022-01-11T17:57:34","slug":"seeking-validation-from-others","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/seeking-validation-from-others\/","title":{"rendered":"Seeking Validation From Others Won’t Make You Happy"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Do you seek validation from others\u2014whether that be online or in-person? Why is that setting an impossible goal?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a world that is focused on social media and external validation<\/a>, many people have started to seek happiness<\/a> through the approval of others. The problem is that other people’s opinions<\/a> are out of your control and if you rely on them for happiness, then you don’t control your own happiness levels.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Continue below for an in-depth look at how seeking external validation<\/a> can affect you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

External Approval Isn\u2019t Worth Pursuing<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

In their book The Courage to Be Disliked, <\/em>Kishimi and Koga note that even if unhappy people successfully earn the approval of others, they do so at great cost. By seeking validation from others<\/a>, unhappy people ultimately end up living other people\u2019s lives<\/strong>. Instead of pursuing their own goals, unhappy people follow the expectations of others, sacrificing their own desires (and happiness) in the process. For example, a young adult may decide to go to medical school to please their parents despite hating the idea of being a doctor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A Biological Need for Approval<\/a><\/strong>

There is some evidence to dispute Kishimi and Koga\u2019s claim that approval only makes us happy because we\u2019ve chosen to want it. In Digital Minimalism, <\/em>Cal Newport explains how humans are biologically predisposed to base their happiness on social approval<\/strong>.<\/a> Unhappy people may not have chosen this goal at all\u2014it\u2019s a drive they\u2019re born with.

Neuroscientists have identified a set of regions in the brain that activates whenever you\u2019re not concentrating on any specific task, which they named the \u201cdefault network.\u201d They discovered that the default network is the same network that activates when humans navigate social situations, indicating that unless we intentionally do otherwise, we\u2019re constantly monitoring the status of our relationships with others<\/a>.<\/strong> The default network lights up even in the brains of newborn babies, showing that social cognition is deeply rooted in our biology.

Does this mean that Kishimi and Koga are wrong? Are we biologically driven to abandon what we really want and live the lives other people want us to? Not necessarily\u2014unlike Newport, Kishimi and Koga make a distinction between the need for social approval and the need for positive social connection.<\/strong> As we\u2019ll discuss in the final part of this guide, Kishimi and Koga would argue that it\u2019s possible to satisfy our social needs through unconditional contribution to others<\/em> instead of conditional approval from others<\/em>.<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Unhappy People Must Cope With an Impossible Goal<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

We\u2019ve established that external approval is ultimately unfulfilling. However, this isn\u2019t the worst consequence of making approval from others your end goal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Kishimi and Koga imply that <\/strong>the main problem with making approval from others your ultimate goal is that much of the time, this goal is impossible to achieve<\/strong>. In the majority of cases, approval is conditional\u2014others will like you only if you do what they want you to do. This means that whether or not others approve of you is out of y<\/strong>our control. <\/strong>Sometimes, there will be nothing you can do to get someone to like you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After failing to achieve this impossible goal, unhappy people cope with their failure in two interconnected ways, which we\u2019ll explore below.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Coping Mechanism #1: Avoiding the Impossible Goal<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

Kishimi and Koga explain that when faced with the often impossible task of earning the approval of others, unhappy people often cope by setting a new goal: to avoid trying and failing to earn the approval of others<\/em>. Instead of pursuing the impossible goal, they choose not to try at all. As a result, they unconsciously manufacture negative emotions such as fear and self-loathing to avoid trying to win others\u2019 approval. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Intentionally Failing the Impossible Goal<\/strong>

People who avoid trying and failing to earn the approval of others, as Kishimi and Koga describe, are still building their lives around the outcome of this impossible goal, rather than disconnecting from it entirely. In doing so, they only intensify their emotional attachment to the goal, deepening their unhappiness when they continue to fail to achieve it.In contrast, a healthier approach would be to emotionally separate from the impossible goal entirely by intentionally<\/em> failing to achieve it while putting greater focus on a new, higher goal. To accomplish this, many recovering approval-seekers pursue a new goal to intentionally embarrass themselves<\/a>, desensitizing themselves to social humiliation<\/a> and reducing their emotional attachment to the goal of approval from others.

For example, in The Four-Hour Workweek<\/em><\/a>, Tim Ferriss outlines a number of \u201cComfort Challenges\u201d designed to increase your tolerance for social discomfort and learn to cope with disapproval or rejection from others. These challenges include maintaining eye contact with friends and strangers for uncomfortable lengths of time and asking attractive strangers for their phone numbers. Ferriss asserts that practicing these challenges will make it easier for you to suffer discomfort when striving to achieve higher goals\u2014for example, while negotiating more favorable business deals.<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Coping Mechanism #2: Adopting Limiting Beliefs<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

According to Kishimi and Koga, to achieve this goal of inaction, unhappy people adopt beliefs that give them excuses to deny responsibility for their own life. They assume that there\u2019s some unchangeable part of them that prevents them from being liked by others.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Kishimi and Koga explain that unhappy people use these limiting beliefs to convince themselves that they are unable to choose their own lifestyle or make positive changes in their life. In doing so, unhappy people successfully achieve the goal of avoiding failure but trap themselves in a hopeless, miserable lifestyle<\/strong> by convincing themselves they don\u2019t have the power to change it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You\u2019re Responsible for Everything in Your Life<\/strong>

In The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, <\/em>Mark Manson explains that one reason so many of us adopt limiting beliefs and avoid taking responsibility<\/a> for our own lives is the fact that we falsely assume that we should only take responsibility for things that are our fault.<\/strong><\/a> We believe that if someone else causes our problem, they should be responsible for fixing it for us\u2014it\u2019s only fair. Likewise, we\u2019re reluctant to put in the work on a problem we didn\u2019t create. This in itself is a limiting belief\u2014when we label a situation \u201cunfair\u201d and refuse to take action, we only harm ourselves.

The way to avoid all limiting beliefs is to abandon this notion completely: Problems are the responsibility of the person they affect, not the person who causes them. This is because the way to live the happiest life possible is to accept responsibility for every single problem in our lives, especially those that aren\u2019t our fault<\/strong>. Even though many people are randomly born with disadvantages, Manson argues that they can overcome them and find happiness by taking radical responsibility for their lives.<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Do you seek validation from others\u2014whether that be online or in-person? Why is that setting an impossible goal? In a world that is focused on social media and external validation, many people have started to seek happiness through the approval of others. The problem is that other people’s opinions are out of your control and if you rely on them for happiness, then you don’t control your own happiness levels. Continue below for an in-depth look at how seeking external validation can affect you.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":57816,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[7,42,9],"tags":[563],"class_list":["post-57800","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-lifestyle","category-motivation","category-psychology","tag-the-courage-to-be-disliked","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"\nSeeking Validation From Others Won't Make You Happy - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"If you seek validation from others, you're giving up the ability to control your own happiness. Here's why you need to take back control.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/seeking-validation-from-others\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Seeking Validation From Others Won't Make You Happy\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"If you seek validation from others, you're giving up the ability to control your own happiness. Here's why you need to take back control.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/seeking-validation-from-others\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Shortform Books\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2022-01-11T17:56:50+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2022-01-11T17:57:34+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/s3.amazonaws.com\/wordpress.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/need-likes.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1454\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"790\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Hannah Aster\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Hannah Aster\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"5 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/seeking-validation-from-others\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/seeking-validation-from-others\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Hannah Aster\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/f39f52830e4f7039a16e45d12354542f\"},\"headline\":\"Seeking Validation From Others Won’t Make You Happy\",\"datePublished\":\"2022-01-11T17:56:50+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2022-01-11T17:57:34+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/seeking-validation-from-others\/\"},\"wordCount\":1160,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/seeking-validation-from-others\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/need-likes.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"The Courage to Be Disliked\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Lifestyle\",\"Motivation\",\"Psychology\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/seeking-validation-from-others\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/seeking-validation-from-others\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/seeking-validation-from-others\/\",\"name\":\"Seeking Validation From Others Won't Make You Happy - Shortform Books\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/seeking-validation-from-others\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/seeking-validation-from-others\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/need-likes.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2022-01-11T17:56:50+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2022-01-11T17:57:34+00:00\",\"description\":\"If you seek validation from others, you're giving up the ability to control your own happiness. Here's why you need to take back control.\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/seeking-validation-from-others\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/seeking-validation-from-others\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/seeking-validation-from-others\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/need-likes.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/need-likes.jpg\",\"width\":1454,\"height\":790},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/seeking-validation-from-others\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Seeking Validation From Others Won’t Make You Happy\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/\",\"name\":\"Shortform Books\",\"description\":\"The World's Best Book Summaries\",\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#organization\"},\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Organization\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#organization\",\"name\":\"Shortform Books\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/\",\"logo\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/logo-equilateral-with-text-no-bg.png\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/logo-equilateral-with-text-no-bg.png\",\"width\":500,\"height\":74,\"caption\":\"Shortform Books\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/\"}},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/f39f52830e4f7039a16e45d12354542f\",\"name\":\"Hannah Aster\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/0302cb2690b70a21639bc6873e587f42d39d02385b7e59d8efd0d3e000ae7681?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/0302cb2690b70a21639bc6873e587f42d39d02385b7e59d8efd0d3e000ae7681?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Hannah Aster\"},\"description\":\"Hannah is a seasoned writer and editor who started her journey with Shortform nearly five years ago. She grew up reading mostly fiction books but transitioned to non-fiction writing when she started her travel website in 2018. When she's not writing or traveling, you can find Hannah working on home reno projects, crafting, or taking care of plants.\",\"knowsAbout\":[\"Graduated summa cum laude with a bachelor's degree in English and minors in professional and creative writing\"],\"jobTitle\":\"SEO Team Lead\",\"worksFor\":\"Shortform\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/author\/hannah\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO Premium plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Seeking Validation From Others Won't Make You Happy - Shortform Books","description":"If you seek validation from others, you're giving up the ability to control your own happiness. Here's why you need to take back control.","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/seeking-validation-from-others\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Seeking Validation From Others Won't Make You Happy","og_description":"If you seek validation from others, you're giving up the ability to control your own happiness. Here's why you need to take back control.","og_url":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/seeking-validation-from-others\/","og_site_name":"Shortform Books","article_published_time":"2022-01-11T17:56:50+00:00","article_modified_time":"2022-01-11T17:57:34+00:00","og_image":[{"width":1454,"height":790,"url":"https:\/\/s3.amazonaws.com\/wordpress.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/need-likes.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"author":"Hannah Aster","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Hannah Aster","Est. reading time":"5 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/seeking-validation-from-others\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/seeking-validation-from-others\/"},"author":{"name":"Hannah Aster","@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/f39f52830e4f7039a16e45d12354542f"},"headline":"Seeking Validation From Others Won’t Make You Happy","datePublished":"2022-01-11T17:56:50+00:00","dateModified":"2022-01-11T17:57:34+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/seeking-validation-from-others\/"},"wordCount":1160,"commentCount":0,"publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#organization"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/seeking-validation-from-others\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/need-likes.jpg","keywords":["The Courage to Be Disliked"],"articleSection":["Lifestyle","Motivation","Psychology"],"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"CommentAction","name":"Comment","target":["https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/seeking-validation-from-others\/#respond"]}]},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/seeking-validation-from-others\/","url":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/seeking-validation-from-others\/","name":"Seeking Validation From Others Won't Make You Happy - Shortform Books","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/seeking-validation-from-others\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/seeking-validation-from-others\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/need-likes.jpg","datePublished":"2022-01-11T17:56:50+00:00","dateModified":"2022-01-11T17:57:34+00:00","description":"If you seek validation from others, you're giving up the ability to control your own happiness. Here's why you need to take back control.","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/seeking-validation-from-others\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/seeking-validation-from-others\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/seeking-validation-from-others\/#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/need-likes.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/need-likes.jpg","width":1454,"height":790},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/seeking-validation-from-others\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Seeking Validation From Others Won’t Make You Happy"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/","name":"Shortform Books","description":"The World's Best Book Summaries","publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#organization"},"potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Organization","@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#organization","name":"Shortform Books","url":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/logo-equilateral-with-text-no-bg.png","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/logo-equilateral-with-text-no-bg.png","width":500,"height":74,"caption":"Shortform Books"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/"}},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/f39f52830e4f7039a16e45d12354542f","name":"Hannah Aster","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/0302cb2690b70a21639bc6873e587f42d39d02385b7e59d8efd0d3e000ae7681?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/0302cb2690b70a21639bc6873e587f42d39d02385b7e59d8efd0d3e000ae7681?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Hannah Aster"},"description":"Hannah is a seasoned writer and editor who started her journey with Shortform nearly five years ago. She grew up reading mostly fiction books but transitioned to non-fiction writing when she started her travel website in 2018. When she's not writing or traveling, you can find Hannah working on home reno projects, crafting, or taking care of plants.","knowsAbout":["Graduated summa cum laude with a bachelor's degree in English and minors in professional and creative writing"],"jobTitle":"SEO Team Lead","worksFor":"Shortform","url":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/author\/hannah\/"}]}},"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/need-likes.jpg","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/57800","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/8"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=57800"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/57800\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":57818,"href":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/57800\/revisions\/57818"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/57816"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=57800"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=57800"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=57800"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}