{"id":57237,"date":"2022-01-03T10:53:06","date_gmt":"2022-01-03T14:53:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=57237"},"modified":"2026-04-24T13:57:47","modified_gmt":"2026-04-24T17:57:47","slug":"the-art-of-loving-quotes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/the-art-of-loving-quotes\/","title":{"rendered":"The Art of Loving: Quotes by Erich Fromm"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Looking for quotes from The Art of Loving<\/em>? What lessons does Fromm teach about false love<\/a> and genuine love<\/a>?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Art of Loving <\/em>was originally published in 1956, but many of its lessons are just as relevant today as they were in the 20th century. Erich explores what makes love genuine, what mature love is, and the importance of self-love<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Continue below for quotes from Erich Fromm with explanations.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

Erich Fromm Quotes on Love<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

According to Fromm, humans seek out love as a way to cope with the pain of isolation and separation from each other.<\/strong> The moment we develop our own identity\u2014the moment we understand ourselves as an individual rather than an extension of our parents\u2014we begin to feel the anxiety that comes with separation. In Fromm\u2019s view, this separation anxiety<\/a> is the fundamental driver of all human activity. More than anything else, we all want to feel connected: to each other, to a higher power, to nature, to something<\/em>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here are some key The Art of Loving<\/a> <\/em>quotes from Fromm.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

\u201cLove isn’t something natural. Rather it requires discipline, concentration, patience, faith, and the overcoming of narcissism. It isn’t a feeling, it is a practice.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

To Fromm, the most common way that modern people pursue connection is through false love. Fromm believes that false love is more common than genuine love in modern society because of the rise of capitalism<\/a>, which requires people to turn their energy into a tradable good in the form of labor: They give labor and get money in return. As a result, we\u2019re less inclined to give ourselves freely; the idea of giving someone time and energy without getting anything in return (which is an expression of genuine love) has become unthinkable. Instead, we practice false love, in which we only give affection in order to get something in return.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

\u201cLove is a decision, it is a judgment, it is a promise. If love were only a feeling, there would be no basis for the promise to love each other forever. A feeling comes and it may go. How can I judge that it will stay forever, when my act does not involve judgment and decision.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

What is love<\/a>, really? In The Art of Loving<\/em>, Fromm argues that what most people think of as love is actually a form of false love\u2014giving affection only to get something in return\u2014instead of genuine, mature love. He believes that this failure to truly achieve loving connection is why so many people are unhappy, despite having all their basic needs met. However, if we can learn how to genuinely love others, we\u2019ll be happier and less isolated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

\u201cMature love is union under the condition of preserving one\u2019s integrity, one\u2019s individuality.”<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

In Fromm\u2019s view, the healthiest way to overcome the anxiety of separation and connect to others is through genuine love. Genuine love happens when two people join together while still maintaining their individual identities<\/em><\/strong>. They do not become enmeshed\u2014instead, each is a whole person unto themselves, so they can give love to each other wholeheartedly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u27a1 This book is on our list of the best books on marriage. <\/em>See the full list.<\/em><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Looking for quotes from The Art of Loving? What lessons does Fromm teach about false love and genuine love? The Art of Loving was originally published in 1956, but many of its lessons are just as relevant today as they were in the 20th century. Erich explores what makes love genuine, what mature love is, and the importance of self-love. Continue below for quotes from Erich Fromm with explanations.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":22988,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[40,12],"tags":[557],"class_list":["post-57237","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-books","category-relationships","tag-the-art-of-loving","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"\nThe Art of Loving: Quotes by Erich Fromm - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Looking for The Art of Loving quotes from Erich Fromm? 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