{"id":56749,"date":"2021-12-26T00:52:50","date_gmt":"2021-12-26T04:52:50","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=56749"},"modified":"2021-12-29T13:08:49","modified_gmt":"2021-12-29T17:08:49","slug":"manage-your-expectations","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/manage-your-expectations\/","title":{"rendered":"Manage Your Expectations to Avoid Disappointment"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Have you heard the phrase &#8220;Expect the worst, but hope for the best&#8221;? Why shouldn&#8217;t you set your expectations too high? Why does having more options set your expectations higher?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In the book <em>The Paradox of Choice, <\/em>author Barry Schwartz posits that having more choices sets your reference points, and thus your expectations, higher. He says that it&#8217;s important to manage your expectations so you&#8217;re not always disappointed by outcomes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Here&#8217;s a brief overview of Schwartz&#8217;s take on managing your expectations.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-the-problems-with-high-expectations\">The Problems With <strong>High Expectations<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Schwartz argues that <strong>the gap between what we expect and what we have is exacerbated by expanded choice.<\/strong>&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>With expanded choice, we have higher expectations (or reference points) for goods and experiences. This is especially true for maximizers, who are almost guaranteed to feel disappointment in their choices because their reference points\u2014imagined ideal outcomes\u2014are unrealistic.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Schwartz recommends you manage your expectations to reduce disappointment and increase pleasure.<\/strong> Experiences that are exceptionally pleasurable should be exceptions rather than the rule. For instance, you might save a bottle of expensive champagne for New Year\u2019s Eve (a special occasion), instead of drinking it whenever you feel the impulse. Our expectations become easier to meet, and truly great experiences become all the more pleasurable when they happen infrequently.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-table\"><table><tbody><tr><td><strong>The Burden of High Expectations<\/strong><br><br>High expectations can cause issues in various areas of our lives. In the <em>Harvard Business Review<\/em>, CEO Peter Bregman writes about how <a href=\"https:\/\/hbr.org\/2012\/02\/the-problem-with-high-expectat\">holding high expectations for himself and others led him to unnecessary dissatisfaction and hurt his relationships.<\/a> Because of his high expectations, he\u2019d been overly hard on himself for occasionally being indecisive, and he\u2019d been harsh toward his daughter for occasionally acting impulsively.&nbsp;<br><br>Bregman concludes that <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/compassion-for-yourself\/\">compassion for yourself<\/a> and others can ease the burden of high expectations. This can also apply to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/methods-of-decision-making-crucial-conversations\/\">decision-making<\/a>. For instance, a maximizer\u2019s expectations might be so high that they\u2019re overly critical of themselves for making a choice that falls short. A <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/why-more-is-less\/\">maximizer<\/a> could lessen this difficulty by understanding that not every decision they make is perfect and accepting occasional mistakes in their decision-making.<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Have you heard the phrase &#8220;Expect the worst, but hope for the best&#8221;? Why shouldn&#8217;t you set your expectations too high? Why does having more options set your expectations higher? In the book The Paradox of Choice, author Barry Schwartz posits that having more choices sets your reference points, and thus your expectations, higher. He says that it&#8217;s important to manage your expectations so you&#8217;re not always disappointed by outcomes. Here&#8217;s a brief overview of Schwartz&#8217;s take on managing your expectations.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":56801,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[7,43],"tags":[552],"class_list":["post-56749","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-lifestyle","category-self-improvement","tag-the-paradox-of-choice","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.3 (Yoast SEO v24.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Manage Your Expectations to Avoid Disappointment - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"If you set your expectations too high, then you&#039;re setting yourself up for disappointment. Here&#039;s why you should manage your expectations.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/manage-your-expectations\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Manage Your Expectations to Avoid Disappointment\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"If you set your expectations too high, then you&#039;re setting yourself up for disappointment. Here&#039;s why you should manage your expectations.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/manage-your-expectations\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Shortform Books\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2021-12-26T04:52:50+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2021-12-29T17:08:49+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/s3.amazonaws.com\/wordpress.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/expect-delays.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1152\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"576\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Hannah Aster\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Hannah Aster\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"2 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/manage-your-expectations\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/manage-your-expectations\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Hannah Aster\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/f39f52830e4f7039a16e45d12354542f\"},\"headline\":\"Manage Your Expectations to Avoid Disappointment\",\"datePublished\":\"2021-12-26T04:52:50+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2021-12-29T17:08:49+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/manage-your-expectations\/\"},\"wordCount\":366,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/manage-your-expectations\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/expect-delays.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"The Paradox of Choice\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Lifestyle\",\"Self-Improvement\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/manage-your-expectations\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/manage-your-expectations\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/manage-your-expectations\/\",\"name\":\"Manage Your Expectations to Avoid Disappointment - Shortform Books\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/manage-your-expectations\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/manage-your-expectations\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/expect-delays.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2021-12-26T04:52:50+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2021-12-29T17:08:49+00:00\",\"description\":\"If you set your expectations too high, then you're setting yourself up for disappointment. 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