{"id":56748,"date":"2021-12-18T00:26:33","date_gmt":"2021-12-18T04:26:33","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=56748"},"modified":"2021-12-29T13:05:19","modified_gmt":"2021-12-29T17:05:19","slug":"difficulty-making-decisions","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/difficulty-making-decisions\/","title":{"rendered":"Why We Have Difficulty Making Decisions"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Why do we have difficulty making decisions? What are the most common comparisons we make when making decisions?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>One of the biggest factors that makes <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/methods-of-decision-making-crucial-conversations\/\">decision-making<\/a> difficult is the fact that people have a tendency to compare their choices to the choices of others. There are four common types of comparisons that we use to weigh our decisions, which can make them seem better or worse.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Keep reading to learn about the comparisons we make when making decisions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-making-decisions\"><strong>Making Decisions<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Schwartz posits that <strong>one reason we may have difficulty making decisions and feel regret or disappointment in our choices is that we compare them with others\u2019 choices<\/strong> to gauge whether we\u2019re choosing well.<strong> <\/strong>Too much comparison, especially <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/what-is-social-comparison\/\">social comparison<\/a>, can lead us to bad judgment in our decision-making.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In this chapter, Schwartz lists common comparisons we make, discusses the effect of high expectations on our comparative decision-making, and describes why social comparison can be one of the most damaging kinds of comparison.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-common-comparisons\"><strong>Common Comparisons<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Schwartz identifies four common types of comparisons we make in order to judge our decisions:&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ol class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>We compare the results of our choices against our <em>hoped-for outcomes<\/em>.&nbsp;<\/li><li>We compare the results against our <em>expected outcomes<\/em>.<\/li><li>We compare the results against our <em>recent experiences<\/em>.&nbsp;<\/li><li>We compare the results against <em>others\u2019 experiences<\/em>.<\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n<p>These comparisons can make our choice seem better or worse, depending on what we\u2019re comparing it to. When our choice seems worse in comparison, we sense gaps between what we wanted and our outcome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Schwartz cites social scientist Alex Michalos, who identified three types of gaps:&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ol class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>The gap between what we want and what we have.&nbsp;<\/li><li>The gap between what our peers have and what we have.<\/li><li>The gap between the ideal outcomes and experiences of the past and what we have now.&nbsp;<\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n<p>Schwartz also adds a fourth: The gap between what we expect and what we have. He added this gap because he believes many people have become accustomed to high-quality experiences and goods, leading to disappointment when something doesn\u2019t meet our high standards.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The comparisons we make to judge our choices, and the gaps we feel between the outcomes of our choices and alternative outcomes, create regret and stress.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-table\"><table><tbody><tr><td><strong>Closing Professional Gaps<\/strong><br><br>Schwartz focuses on how to mitigate the impact of comparison on our thinking, but sometimes these comparisons and gaps can help us acknowledge what we want in our lives: If a choice doesn\u2019t live up to expectations, or we feel that we don\u2019t have what we truly want, we can sometimes take steps to reach what we aim for.&nbsp;<br><br>Our professional life is an area where we might make comparisons and see gaps. <a href=\"https:\/\/www.forbes.com\/sites\/jasonselk\/2014\/11\/12\/how-to-close-the-gap-between-what-you-want-and-what-you-have\/?sh=5e197c007a43\">Ways to close the gap between what you want and what you have<\/a> include taking on stressful tasks instead of avoiding them, prioritizing your work, and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/hold-yourself-accountable\/\">holding yourself accountable<\/a>.&nbsp;<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Neutral Points<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>Neutral (or reference) points, an aspect of <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/prospect-theory-kahneman\/\">prospect theory<\/a> discussed in Chapter 3, shape how we make comparisons, potentially causing disappointment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Schwartz explains that when we make comparisons, we use neutral points to guide our decisions: They can be past experiences, imagined outcomes, others\u2019 experiences, and so on. However, these points of comparison are anything but neutral. For instance, if we set an unrealistic neutral point, we might be disappointed with the experience we have.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Remember the example of James, who was shopping for a sweater? He was looking for a sweater that was $20 or less, because $20 was the reference point he had set. Another shopper might have a reference point of $50, or $100, depending on their income and the quality of sweaters they\u2019re used to buying. James would be disappointed if he could only find sweaters that were over $35, but the shopper used to $100 sweaters would be thrilled if he found a $35 sweater he was happy with.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>As explained earlier, reference points are different for different people, so disappointment stemming from this comparison is subjective.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-table\"><table><tbody><tr><td><strong><em>Thinking, Fast and Slow <\/em>and Reference Points<\/strong><br><br>In <em>Thinking, Fast and Slow, <\/em>Kahneman elaborates on <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/app\/book\/thinking-fast-and-slow\/part-4-3\">how reference points factor into the way we choose subjectively among alternatives<\/a> (prospect theory).&nbsp;<br><br><a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/the-endowment-effect\/\">The endowment effect<\/a>, or the sense that something is \u201cyours\u201d even if you\u2019ve only had it for a short time, creates new reference points: You quickly get used to the idea of owning something, and the fact of your ownership becomes your new reference point. This is why it feels like a loss to give up something that you\u2019ve had for even a brief time.&nbsp;<br>Similarly, when we set goals, they become reference points\u2014even when they\u2019re arbitrary. Because of this, we feel that we\u2019ve gained something when we reach a goal, and we feel that we\u2019ve lost something when we miss the goal.&nbsp;<br>Kahneman acknowledges the inherent bias and unreliability of reference points, yet he also underscores that reference points affect the way we all live our lives and make decisions. So when making choices, keep in mind that you\u2019re likely comparing your options against a reference point that may or may not be helpful.&nbsp;<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"block-df3805d6-9329-4030-8724-6df60ad3ecdf\"><strong>How Expanded Choice Complicates Decision-Making<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p id=\"block-67b8b84a-1bbf-4450-a222-c9cd9f07607c\">We\u2019ve discussed how numerous <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/cognitive-heuristics\/\">psychological biases<\/a> make choices challenging. Schwartz describes three major ways that expanded choice adds to the challenge:&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p id=\"block-ca10213a-27b0-44ed-a13c-44fb33e937e6\"><strong>1. More options means more effortful choices. <\/strong>When there are more choices to make, and more options to choose from in each given choice, the time and energy it takes to make an informed decision dramatically increases.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p id=\"block-24c4dc3e-a41a-49f2-9645-a7492ae6b9cb\">(Shortform note: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.healthline.com\/health\/decision-fatigue\">Effortful choices lead to decision fatigue<\/a>. Signs that you\u2019re dealing with <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/john-tierney-decision-fatigue\/\">decision fatigue<\/a> include procrastination, impulsive decisions, indecision, and avoidance. If you\u2019re experiencing decision fatigue, try taking some time to rest before making decisions, making a list of decisions in order of priority, and asking people you trust for their input.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p id=\"block-23fd3183-fceb-4992-a531-da7a4e579edb\"><strong>2. With <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/too-many-options\/\">too many choices<\/a> in front of us, it\u2019s easy to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/why-we-make-bad-decisions\/\">make bad decisions<\/a>. <\/strong>When too many choices demand our attention, we can\u2019t carefully consider each choice, so we\u2019re more likely to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/make-bad-choices\/\">make bad choices<\/a>.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p id=\"block-6e31329f-9c19-40a6-8b37-3da5125fc258\">This might not matter when choosing what to make for dinner or what TV show to watch. But there can be long-lasting consequences if you don\u2019t take the time to make decisions in more important areas. For instance, if you buy a used car without adequate thought, you could end up driving an unsafe vehicle.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p id=\"block-c2b0f293-753a-4e51-a2b0-5119fd4bb102\">(Shortform note: Research shows that it\u2019s particularly easy to make a bad decision when you\u2019re in an anxiety-inducing situation, or the decision has the potential to be rewarding. For example, you may be more likely to make a bad choice at work if you\u2019re overwhelmed by your job, and you might be more likely to make a bad choice about a romantic partner if you find that person exciting and attractive. If you\u2019re struggling with a decision, try asking yourself these questions to prevent a negative outcome: 1) What\u2019s the worst thing that could happen?, and 2) How would I feel if the worst did happen?)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p id=\"block-9cf90455-2b04-4a94-9125-0c7cef178809\"><strong>3. Since having more choices is more stressful, the psychological consequences of a bad choice can be more severe. <\/strong>We all make choices that don\u2019t turn out the way we expect. But when you spend a lot of time making a choice and it turns out badly, you\u2019ll probably feel worse than if you\u2019d chosen quickly.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p id=\"block-e8827468-0013-475f-9386-f4455d98be4d\">Schwartz contends that because of the difficulties and pitfalls of facing too many choices, <strong>many people fall into a particular bad habit: making most of their choices indiscriminately, without considering options or consequences. <\/strong>People who make decisions in this haphazard way can be called \u201cguessers,\u201d while those who generally think through their decisions are \u201cdeliberators.\u201dEveryone has to \u201cguess\u201d and \u201cdeliberate\u201d sometimes, but habitual guessing leads to habitual bad decisions.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-table\"><table><tbody><tr><td><strong>Choice and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/system-2-thinking\/\">System 2 Thinking<\/a><\/strong><br><br>Schwartz\u2019s description of guessers and deliberators echoes the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/two-types-of-thinking\/\">two types of thinking<\/a> Kahneman describes. <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/system-1-thinking-kahneman\/\">System 1 thinking<\/a> is automatic, while System 2 involves conscious thought\u2014so when we guess we use System 1 thinking, and when we deliberate we use System 2 thinking.&nbsp;<br><br>These systems help explain how the psychological difficulties caused by expanded choice get in the way of <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/effective-decision-making-how-to-make-good-decisions\/\">effective decision-making<\/a>. System 2 thinking weakens when we feel overwhelmed, stressed, or tired, and we then use System 1 judgments to a greater extent\u2014and since <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/list-of-cognitive-biases\/\">cognitive biases<\/a> are an effect of System 1 thinking, this can cause us problems.<br><br>Expanded choice, then, can cause us to make poor decisions because it exhausts our System 2 thinking.<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Why do we have difficulty making decisions? What are the most common comparisons we make when making decisions? One of the biggest factors that makes decision-making difficult is the fact that people have a tendency to compare their choices to the choices of others. There are four common types of comparisons that we use to weigh our decisions, which can make them seem better or worse. Keep reading to learn about the comparisons we make when making decisions.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":57213,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[9,24],"tags":[552],"class_list":["post-56748","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-psychology","category-society","tag-the-paradox-of-choice","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.3 (Yoast SEO v24.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Why We Have Difficulty Making Decisions - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Why do we have difficulty making decisions in life? Because we&#039;re always comparing them to other people&#039;s choices. Learn more.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/difficulty-making-decisions\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Why We Have Difficulty Making Decisions\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Why do we have difficulty making decisions in life? Because we&#039;re always comparing them to other people&#039;s choices. 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