Is your mind full of clutter such as feelings of overwhelm, confusion, and anxiety? How can you declutter your mind and invite more clarity into your life?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Jay Shetty, the author of Think Like a Monk, <\/em>says there are three steps to developing a monk mindset: purify, clarity, and exemplify. The first stage, purify, involves decluttering your mind<\/a> so you can focus on what really matters.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Keep reading to learn about purifying your mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n Former Vedic monk and award-winning content creator Jay Shetty claims that the route to happiness and fulfillment is to Think Like a Monk<\/em>. According to him, monks are the calmest and happiest people in the world<\/strong> because they live with a sense of purpose<\/a> that aligns with their true, inner selves. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Fortunately, you don\u2019t need to cut yourself off from the modern world or shave your head to benefit from this mindset. Shetty draws from his experiences as a monk, ancient spiritual texts, and the latest psychological research to transform abstract concepts into actionable methods you can easily incorporate into your life. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Shetty claims that there are three ongoing stages to adopting the monk mindset\u2014the more you engage with and practice these methods, the happier you\u2019ll feel:<\/p>\n\n\n\n In this article, we will talk about the first stage of the monk mindset, purify.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Shetty claims that, throughout your life, you\u2019ve been influenced by the various opinions and expectations of your family, friends, culture, and media<\/strong>. You learned early on that, to get along well with others, you needed to conform to their expectations of you. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Shetty argues that various similar experiences led you to unconsciously conclude that your happiness depends on what <\/strong>you think<\/em><\/strong> other people think of you<\/strong>. As a result, you\u2019re now so preoccupied with what other people think about you that you\u2019ve developed different personas and tailored your behaviors to fit different situations and expectations: your professional work persona, your loving mom persona, your sociable friend persona, and so on.<\/p>\n\n\n\n According to Shetty, these mental shortcuts<\/a> encourage you to focus on what you need to do to receive a certain reaction from the outside world<\/strong> so that you can live up to what you think others want from you. This preoccupation with pleasing others distracts you from thinking about how you feel<\/em>, what your unique needs are, and, most importantly, what makes you<\/em> happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n According to Shetty, who you are<\/a> and what you need to feel satisfied and happy can be summed up by your values. Your values are core beliefs that you choose to live by\u2014they determine who you <\/strong>want<\/em><\/strong> to be and how you treat yourself and others.<\/strong> Your values shape how you think, color your perceptions, motivate your behavior, and guide your decisions. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Shetty claims that values allow you to understand the meaning underlying everything you do and that your ability to find meaning in what you do is directly linked to how satisfied you feel. Consequently, he argues that the degree to which you live in alignment with your values determines how meaningful your life experiences feel to you<\/strong>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Shetty says that the clarity of your values has a direct impact on your ability to experience satisfaction and happiness in three ways:<\/p>\n\n\n\n When you\u2019re preoccupied with chasing false images of happiness\u2014by conforming to and pleasing others\u2014you end up accumulating other people\u2019s values and pursuing things that you think will make you happy. However, while your different personas enable you to navigate and perform in accordance with the various values you\u2019re influenced by, you don\u2019t stop to consider if any of these values align with your inner values. Consequently, Shetty argues, you\u2019re unable to understand or appreciate the meaning behind what you\u2019re doing, or to gain any real satisfaction once you get the things you\u2019ve been chasing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Shetty notes that when you engage in behaviors that don\u2019t feel meaningful to you, your dissatisfaction with what you\u2019re experiencing makes you more prone to distractions<\/strong>. Your thoughts wander aimlessly between various external influences and make you feel like you\u2019re constantly being pulled in multiple directions. The more you fill your mind with random and distracting thoughts<\/a>, the less space you have to reflect upon what\u2019s personally important and meaningful to you. <\/p>\n\n\n\n According to Shetty, overactive and unfocused thoughts tend to sway towards the negative\u2014fears, complaints, comparisons, criticisms, envy, judgment, anger, insecurities, and so on\u2014and magnify the negative aspects of every experience (how you think about yourself, your experiences, and those around you).<\/p>\n\n\n\n This negative mental clutter leads to feelings of overwhelm, confusion, and anxiety, and is both the cause and<\/em> symptom of feeling unhappy and dissatisfied<\/strong>: Your thoughts are unfocused and unproductive so you feel dissatisfied. You feel dissatisfied so find it difficult to prevent your mind from focusing on and amplifying thoughts that make you feel even more uncomfortable. Shetty claims that this mental pattern blinds you to what you need to feel satisfied and leads you to waste your time with people and situations that don\u2019t support your values<\/strong>. Ultimately, this pattern leaves you trapped in a cycle of dissatisfaction.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Shetty argues that the only way to experience satisfaction and happiness is to declutter your mind and focus your thoughts on what\u2019s important to you so that you can define the values that you want to live by. Here, we\u2019ll help you assess whether the values you\u2019re living by reflect who you want to be<\/a> and how you want to live. First, you\u2019ll decide on what values feel true to you. Next, you\u2019ll evaluate whether your current choices align with these values.<\/p>\n\n\n\n According to Shetty, values that inspire positive thoughts<\/a>, such as compassion or kindness, are true values that elevate you to a state of happiness, fulfillment, and meaning<\/strong>. On the other hand, values that inspire negative thoughts, such as fear, greed, or envy, are false values that demote you to a state of suffering, dissatisfaction, and anxiety.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Shetty suggests that you reflect on what values you want to live by so that you can assess whether your current behaviors align with or work against how you want to live. Consider what types of experiences feel meaningful to you and think about the qualities that you look for and admire in others, such as compassion, empathy, or resilience. Whatever these qualities are, they point to the values that inspire you. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Shetty claims that determining the values you use to guide you through your life is an ongoing process: The more you release yourself from external influences and distractions, the easier you\u2019ll find it to clarify and live by your values<\/a><\/strong>. Therefore, add to this list as you continue to work through the methods in this guide.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Now that you have an idea of the values you want to live by, let\u2019s explore if your current choices line up with what feels meaningful to you. Shetty suggests four ways to examine whether the decisions you\u2019ve been making move you toward or further from how you want to live\u2014practicing these methods will help you release yourself from the values that don\u2019t serve you and give you the time and energy to focus on what matters<\/a> to you:<\/p>\n\n\n\n 1) Track how you spend your time<\/a> and money:<\/strong> Shetty argues that the way you choose to spend your free time and money reflects the values that shape your life. Consequently, the areas where you spend the most time and money should align with what you value the most. If that\u2019s not the case, ask yourself why you choose to waste your time and money on things that don\u2019t feel important to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n 2) Consider your past choices:<\/strong> Shetty suggests that investigating your past choices will help you to gain a deeper awareness of how you\u2019ve been influenced throughout your life. Ask yourself why you made these choices, what you learned from them, and whether you would make the same choices now that you\u2019re clearer about what values you want to live by.<\/p>\n\n\n\n 3) Evaluate your current goals:<\/strong> Shetty advises that you also assess how external influences have shaped the goals you\u2019re working toward. For example, perhaps you\u2019ve set the goal to earn a million dollars because you enjoy the challenge. On the other hand, perhaps you\u2019ve set this goal because you feel pressured to prove your worth to others.<\/p>\n\n\n\n 4) Identify how other people influence you:<\/strong> When you\u2019re truly satisfied with yourself, you don\u2019t feel the need to put on different personas to please different people. However, developing this strength of mind takes practice. While you\u2019re working through the process of cultivating a monk mindset, Shetty suggests that you remember that the people you spend your time with influence you to think and behave in specific ways. Therefore, consider how you feel when you spend time with particular individuals or groups of people\u2014do you feel like you\u2019re getting closer to or further away from the values you want to live by? <\/p>\n\n\n\n Now that you\u2019re beginning to define your values, you have a clearer idea of what feels meaningful to you. However, if you\u2019ve developed the habit of thinking negative and unproductive thoughts, you may find it difficult to focus<\/a> your attention and make decisions that align with how you want to live. So, we\u2019ll conclude this first part of the guide by exploring methods you can use to counter negative thoughts, calm your mind, and gain a deeper awareness of what you need to feel satisfied and happy. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Shetty argues that you\u2019ll never be able to fully control external circumstances<\/strong> (other people, situations, and so on). Further, attempting to control the uncontrollable only fuels thoughts that make you feel uncomfortable (for example, \u201cthey should act like this,\u201d \u201cthat shouldn\u2019t have happened\u201d). Fortunately, there is something you can control that will massively impact the way you perceive, feel about, and respond to your experiences: your thoughts. <\/p>\n\n\n\n We previously discussed how the quality of your thoughts\u2014whether they\u2019re positive or negative\u2014impacts your mental state. According to Shetty, positive thoughts spring from values that benefit your wellbeing: They focus your mind and allow you to make decisions that feel meaningful. On the other hand, negative thoughts encourage overthinking: They clutter your mind and encourage you to continue thinking distracting and unproductive thoughts. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Shetty argues that your negative thoughts do<\/em> have one benefit\u2014they offer guidance about what\u2019s important to you.<\/strong> You\u2019re more likely to have an opinion about a subject you care about than one that\u2019s of no interest to you. Consequently, Shetty suggests that you first try to understand the triggers beneath your negative thoughts before you attempt to eliminate them. The more you understand why you think the way you do, the easier you\u2019ll find it to address and change your negative thoughts. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Shetty suggests six methods to help you understand and manage how you respond to your negative thoughts: <\/p>\n\n\n\n 1) Notice, question, and change your negative thoughts:<\/strong> Shetty advises that you practice paying attention<\/a> to your thoughts so that you can notice when you\u2019re engaged in negative thinking. Next, consider where the negative thought is coming from and whether it reflects who you want to be. Finally, decide to think thoughts that make you feel better about the situation\u2014beneficial thoughts tend to cast a positive light on yourself and others. <\/p>\n\n\n\n 2) Appreciate what you do have:<\/strong> Shetty claims that your fears point you toward what you\u2019re afraid of losing\u2014the things you\u2019re most attached to. However, when you accept that you can\u2019t control how long any of these things will stay in your life<\/strong>, you change your relationship to the things that bring you fear: Instead of trying to control and hold onto the things you care about, you\u2019re able to appreciate and enjoy what you have.<\/p>\n\n\n\n 3) Get to the root of your fears:<\/strong> Shetty argues that, while your fears may appear to relate to a specific subject, they often arise from a broader, unconscious fear that\u2019s been influencing all of your decisions. He suggests that you dig down and keep asking why you\u2019re afraid of something so that you can resolve the fear at its root. For example, you’re afraid of losing your job. Why? Because you worked so hard to get where you are. Why? Because your self-worth is tied to your achievements. Why? <\/p>\n\n\n\n 4) Detach from your negative impulses:<\/strong> It\u2019s common to identify with our negative thoughts and feelings<\/a> by saying, \u201cI am [the thought or feeling]\u201d\u2014for example, \u201cI\u2019m scared,\u201d or, \u201cI\u2019m sad.\u201d Shetty claims that identifying with your thoughts in this way makes it difficult to disentangle yourself from the discomfort you\u2019re feeling. He recommends that you view your thoughts and emotions as separate from you<\/strong> by saying, \u201cI\u2019m thinking about…\u201d or, \u201cI\u2019m experiencing feelings of…\u201d This allows you to detach yourself from any discomfort you feel and respond more objectively to your thoughts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n 5) Practice forgiveness<\/a> to release self-destructive thoughts:<\/strong> Thoughts of shame, guilt, and anger often arise when you look back on the things you\u2019ve done throughout your life that you feel ashamed or disappointed about. Shetty claims that the only way to move forward from these unproductive thoughts is to acknowledge why you feel this way and then to forgive yourself<\/a> for the mistakes that you\u2019ve made. In addition, he suggests practicing forgiveness<\/a> towards those who trigger feelings of resentment or anger in you. <\/p>\n\n\n\nPurify: The 1st Stage of the Monk Mindset<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Mental Shortcuts Create False Images of Happiness<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
You Don\u2019t Know What Makes You Happy<\/h4>\n\n\n\n
Satisfaction and Happiness Come From Having Clear Values<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
1) Yielding to External Pressures Creates Unclear Values<\/h4>\n\n\n\n
2) Unclear Values Create an Overactive Mind<\/h4>\n\n\n\n
3) An Overactive Mind Encourages Negative Tendencies That Fuel Dissatisfaction<\/h4>\n\n\n\n
Define Your Values to Escape the Cycle of Dissatisfaction<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
What Values Do You Want to Live By?<\/h4>\n\n\n\n
Are You Living by Your Values?<\/h4>\n\n\n\n
Focus On What You Can Control<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Productive Ways to Process Your Fearful and Negative Thoughts<\/h4>\n\n\n\n