{"id":56481,"date":"2021-12-14T15:13:00","date_gmt":"2021-12-14T19:13:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=56481"},"modified":"2021-12-27T16:35:05","modified_gmt":"2021-12-27T20:35:05","slug":"sexual-sensitivity","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/sexual-sensitivity\/","title":{"rendered":"Why We Have Different Levels of Sexual Sensitivity"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>What determines a person&#8217;s sexual responsiveness? Why are some people more sensitive to sexual stimuli than others?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>We all have different levels of sexual sensitivity: some people are more responsive to sexual stimuli than others. How sensitive a person is to stimuli in the environment determines their sexual needs. According to sex researcher Emily Nagoski, this boils down to the sensitivity of the Sexual Excitation System (SES) vs. the Sexual Inhibition System (SIS).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Keep reading to learn about the two systems&#8217; role in sexual sensitivity. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-the-2-system-mechanism-of-sexual-response\"><strong>The 2-System Mechanism of Sexual Response<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>According to sex educator Emily Nagoski, the <strong>Sexual Excitation System (SES) is responsible for the process of arousal<\/strong>. It constantly scans our environment for potential sexual stimuli. (Common examples could be the scent of cologne or seeing our partner in a bathing suit.) When the SES identifies sex-related stimuli, it sends a signal from our brain to our genitals so that our body can prepare for sex.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In contrast to the SES, Nagoski says that the <strong>Sexual Inhibition System (SIS) controls the process of impeding arousal<\/strong>. The SIS scans our environment for reasons <em>not<\/em> to have sex (for example, the risk of unwanted pregnancy) and sends a signal to our brain when something relevant is identified.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Nagoski tells us that <strong>each individual\u2019s <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/sexual-personality\/\">SES and SIS<\/a> have different levels of sensitivity<\/strong> to stimuli in the environment that determine a person\u2019s particular sexual needs. For example, someone with a sensitive SES wouldn\u2019t need nearly as many (or as specific) stimuli to become aroused as someone with an insensitive SES.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-sensitivity-s-role-in-the-2-systems\"><strong>Sensitivity\u2019s Role in the 2 Systems<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Nagoski tells us that <strong>each individual\u2019s SES and SIS have different levels of sensitivity<\/strong>. How sensitive each of a person\u2019s systems is to stimuli in the environment determines their particular sexual needs. For example, someone with a sensitive SES wouldn\u2019t need nearly as many (or as specific) stimuli to become aroused as someone with an insensitive SES.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>(Shortform note: Nagoski tells us that each individual\u2019s level of sensitivity varies, but she doesn\u2019t discuss which factors contribute to those differences. According to the Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender, and Reproduction, which developed the two-system model, <a href=\"https:\/\/kinseyinstitute.org\/research\/dual-control-model.php\">each person\u2019s sensitivity levels depend on both genetic and environmental factors<\/a>, including their unique sexual physiology, history, and personality.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-reflecting-on-your-ses-and-sis\"><strong>Reflecting on Your SES and SIS<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Here are some questions to help you think about your sexual sensitivity: <\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>Do you become sexually aroused by your partner showing off their strengths?<\/li><li>What about when you fantasize about sex?<\/li><li>Does boredom often lead to thoughts about sex?<\/li><li>Are you aroused by particular scents or tastes?<\/li><li>Does the thought of someone or something interrupting sex have little effect on your ability to stay aroused?<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>If you answered yes to these questions, you most likely have a sensitive SES<\/strong>. In particular, Nagoski says this means you\u2019re very sensitive to sexual stimuli, even things like smell and taste. <strong>If you answered no, you most likely have an insensitive SES<\/strong>. Specifically, Nagoski says this means you don\u2019t easily respond to sexual stimuli and need to devote specific attention to become aroused. <strong>If you couldn\u2019t provide a definitive yes or no answer, then you probably fall somewhere in between<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Now, here are some questions to help you think about your SIS:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>Does stress prevent you from getting aroused?<\/li><li>Does everything have to feel \u201cright\u201d for sex to be enjoyable?<\/li><li>Does worrying about your partner\u2019s attraction to you affect your ability to become aroused?<\/li><li>Does fear about your performance in bed inhibit your arousal?<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>If you answered yes to these questions, you most likely have a sensitive SIS<\/strong>. In particular, Nagoski says this means you must feel relaxed and trust your partner to become aroused. <strong>If you answered no, you most likely have an insensitive SIS<\/strong>. Specifically, Nagoski says this means you\u2019re not worried about your performance, body image, or potential consequences of sex. <strong>If you couldn\u2019t provide a definitive yes or no answer, then Nagoski says you\u2019re most likely somewhere in the middle<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-table\"><table><tbody><tr><td><strong>Variations on the SIS\/SES Questionnaire<\/strong><br><br>Nagoski\u2019s questionnaire is partially based on the original SIS\/SES questionnaire (which you can view <a href=\"http:\/\/iukinseyinstitute.co1.qualtrics.com\/\">as part of an online questionnaire on Qualtrics<\/a>). The Kinsey Institute created this original questionnaire while developing its two-system theoretical model. Overall, Nagoski\u2019s version follows the format of the original relatively closely, though it departs in two specific ways: First, whereas the original asks participants to choose from four options\u2014\u201cstrongly agree,\u201d \u201cagree,\u201d \u201cdisagree,\u201d and \u201cstrongly disagree\u201d\u2014Nagoski\u2019s version utilizes a sliding scale, where 0 indicates \u201cnot at all like me\u201d and 4 indicates \u201cexactly like me.\u201d This creates the possibility for a central or neutral option that the original lacks. Second, while the original combines questions targeting both the SIS and SES, Nagoski\u2019s version separates questions into two sections.<br><br>For the questions themselves, Nagoski condensed the questionnaire from 7 questions targeting each system down to only 5. Furthermore, her questions vary significantly from the original\u2019s. While hers focus more on psychological\/emotional factors (for example, \u201csometimes I feel so \u2018shy\u2019 or self-conscious that I cannot become fully aroused\u201d), the original\u2019s focus more on situational factors (for example, \u201cIf I am having sex in a secluded, outdoor place and I think that someone is nearby, I am not likely to get very aroused\u201d).&nbsp;<br><br>The differences between Nagoski\u2019s questionnaire and the original reflect further research on the applicability of the two-system model that revealed <a href=\"https:\/\/kinseyinstitute.org\/pdf\/Factoranalysis.pdf\">women might need a separate questionnaire from men<\/a>. This is due to men\u2019s and women\u2019s differing experiences of sexual excitation and inhibition. Because researchers developed the original questionnaire following a study that initially only focused on men, they didn\u2019t take gender differences into account. <br><br>Ultimately, other researchers developed a questionnaire that is not only made exclusively for women but also expands on the factors considered by the original, including sexual power dynamics and partner characteristics.<br>We can see the influence from the new, woman-centered questionnaire in Nagoski\u2019s version, although hers is significantly condensed. Despite the difference in length, both questionnaires focus much more heavily on psychological and emotional factors like self-esteem and relationship dynamics, which research has shown are important aspects of women\u2019s experience of sexual excitation and inhibition.&nbsp;<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>What determines a person&#8217;s sexual responsiveness? Why are some people more sensitive to sexual stimuli than others? We all have different levels of sexual sensitivity: some people are more responsive to sexual stimuli than others. How sensitive a person is to stimuli in the environment determines their sexual needs. According to sex researcher Emily Nagoski, this boils down to the sensitivity of the Sexual Excitation System (SES) vs. the Sexual Inhibition System (SIS). Keep reading to learn about the two systems&#8217; role in sexual sensitivity.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":56919,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[9,160],"tags":[548],"class_list":["post-56481","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-psychology","category-science","tag-come-as-you-are","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.3 (Yoast SEO v24.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Why We Have Different Levels of Sexual Sensitivity - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"We all have different levels of sexual sensitivity. 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