In this article, we’ll explore what makes a moment memorable, and how you can engineer memorable moments on demand. <\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n
2 Psychological Phenomena That Form Defining Moments <\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\nWhy do we remember certain things but forget others? There are two psychological phenomena that determine which experiences tend to stand out in your memory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
1) The Peak-End Rule<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\nIt\u2019s obvious why some events\u2014like marriage, or having kids\u2014would stand out on the timeline of your life. But what about smaller, simpler moments such as a particular family vacation or an outing with a friend? <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Typically, the way you recall special memories is shaped by the \u201cpeak-end rule,\u201d proposed by psychologists Barbara Frederickson and Daniel Kahneman (author of Thinking, Fast and Slow<\/em><\/a>). <\/em>The peak-end rule<\/a> states that when people reflect on an experience, they tend to ignore the duration of the experience. Instead, they focus on two key parts: <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n- The emotional peaks\u2014the moments of strongest positive or negative emotion<\/strong><\/li>
- The end of the experience.<\/strong><\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n
Imagine you spend a day at the beach with your kids. The drive is long, and it\u2019s cloudy when you arrive. As you set up your umbrella and blanket, the sun finally peeks out. Around lunchtime, your kids are delighted to see a pod of dolphins playing just offshore. By the end of the day, everyone is exhausted, sunburned, and a little cranky. You pack up just before dark and spot an ice cream truck on the walk to the car, so everyone ends the day snacking on their favorite ice cream. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
If you were asked about your day right after finishing your ice cream, you\u2019d reflect on all the events of the day and chalk it up to a fairly average<\/em> experience. However, if you were approached several weeks later and asked to reflect on the day, you\u2019d likely give it a rave review<\/em>. This is because, according to the peak-end rule, the parts of the day that will stand out in your memory are seeing dolphins (the peak) and eating your favorite ice cream with your kids (the end). All the other parts of the day\u2014the cloudy sky, the sunburn, the long drive\u2014fade into the background of these two positive experiences.<\/p>\n\n\n\nLonger Timelines Warp the Peak-End Rule<\/h4>\n\n\n\n
Kahneman\u2019s research shows that the peak-end rule holds when an experience is relatively short and has a definite beginning and end\u2014a day at the beach or a week of camping, for example. However, the Heaths explain that when it comes to recalling long-term experiences, the peak-end rule changes.<\/strong> <\/p>\n\n\n\nPeak:<\/strong> Peaks retain their importance\u2014that is, one or two exceptional moments can make a mundane experience stand out in your memory as wholly <\/em>amazing. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n- For example, you start a new job. Your company sets up an incredible orientation program, and in your seventh month you receive the sales team\u2019s \u201cMVP Award.\u201d Looking back on this first year, you might report it as a great experience, though most of your time was spent on meetings, dull tasks, or filing paperwork. The mundane day-to-day events fade into the background of several exceptional events. <\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n
End: <\/strong>On the other hand, endings tend to lose their importance and blur with beginnings. When you left college and headed into your first job, it was both an ending and<\/em> a beginning. When it comes to long-term experiences, it makes more sense to think in terms of transitions<\/em> rather than beginnings and endings.<\/p>\n\n\n\nThis builds to the Heaths\u2019 main point<\/a>: When you think back on your life, you won\u2019t recall every moment, nor will you consider your life\u2019s \u201caverage\u201d happiness. Your memory will naturally highlight positive peaks and transitional experiences.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It\u2019s obvious why some events\u2014like marriage, or having kids\u2014would stand out on the timeline of your life. But what about smaller, simpler moments such as a particular family vacation or an outing with a friend? <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Typically, the way you recall special memories is shaped by the \u201cpeak-end rule,\u201d proposed by psychologists Barbara Frederickson and Daniel Kahneman (author of Thinking, Fast and Slow<\/em><\/a>). <\/em>The peak-end rule<\/a> states that when people reflect on an experience, they tend to ignore the duration of the experience. Instead, they focus on two key parts: <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Imagine you spend a day at the beach with your kids. The drive is long, and it\u2019s cloudy when you arrive. As you set up your umbrella and blanket, the sun finally peeks out. Around lunchtime, your kids are delighted to see a pod of dolphins playing just offshore. By the end of the day, everyone is exhausted, sunburned, and a little cranky. You pack up just before dark and spot an ice cream truck on the walk to the car, so everyone ends the day snacking on their favorite ice cream. <\/p>\n\n\n\n If you were asked about your day right after finishing your ice cream, you\u2019d reflect on all the events of the day and chalk it up to a fairly average<\/em> experience. However, if you were approached several weeks later and asked to reflect on the day, you\u2019d likely give it a rave review<\/em>. This is because, according to the peak-end rule, the parts of the day that will stand out in your memory are seeing dolphins (the peak) and eating your favorite ice cream with your kids (the end). All the other parts of the day\u2014the cloudy sky, the sunburn, the long drive\u2014fade into the background of these two positive experiences.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Kahneman\u2019s research shows that the peak-end rule holds when an experience is relatively short and has a definite beginning and end\u2014a day at the beach or a week of camping, for example. However, the Heaths explain that when it comes to recalling long-term experiences, the peak-end rule changes.<\/strong> <\/p>\n\n\n\n Peak:<\/strong> Peaks retain their importance\u2014that is, one or two exceptional moments can make a mundane experience stand out in your memory as wholly <\/em>amazing. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n End: <\/strong>On the other hand, endings tend to lose their importance and blur with beginnings. When you left college and headed into your first job, it was both an ending and<\/em> a beginning. When it comes to long-term experiences, it makes more sense to think in terms of transitions<\/em> rather than beginnings and endings.<\/p>\n\n\n\n This builds to the Heaths\u2019 main point<\/a>: When you think back on your life, you won\u2019t recall every moment, nor will you consider your life\u2019s \u201caverage\u201d happiness. Your memory will naturally highlight positive peaks and transitional experiences.<\/p>\n\n\n\nLonger Timelines Warp the Peak-End Rule<\/h4>\n\n\n\n
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