{"id":55379,"date":"2021-11-24T21:44:38","date_gmt":"2021-11-25T01:44:38","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/?p=55379"},"modified":"2021-12-04T22:02:53","modified_gmt":"2021-12-05T02:02:53","slug":"healthy-skepticism","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/healthy-skepticism\/","title":{"rendered":"Healthy Skepticism: How to Use Doubt as a Tool"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Do you practice healthy skepticism? What&#8217;s the difference between skepticism and cynicism?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Healthy skepticism is a handy tool to have around if you want to get at the truth. It&#8217;s also a way to achieve freedom of control, according to <em><a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/fifth-agreement\/\">The Fifth Agreement<\/a><\/em> authors don Miguel Ruiz and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/don-jose-ruiz\/\">don Jose Ruiz<\/a>. This is your ticket to choosing how you want to live.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Read more to learn how to leverage healthy skepticism, and how skepticism is different from cynicism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Exercising Healthy Skepticism<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Once you arrive at the fifth step, you\u2019ve done the hard work of reframing your beliefs and adjusting <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/personal-worldview\/\">your worldview<\/a> in a way that better serves your <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/good-health-and-happiness\/\">health and happiness<\/a>. Now, you\u2019re ready to move to the third stage of Toltec enlightenment\u2014the freedom of control. In other words, since you\u2019re no longer being controlled by beliefs you didn\u2019t choose, it\u2019s up to you to decide how to live. You have the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/freedom-to-choose\/\">freedom to choose<\/a> the shape and tone of your subjective reality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>How do we make the most of this freedom? The naguals recommend avoiding:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>Blindly accepting new beliefs<\/li><li>Making new assumptions<\/li><li>Taking messages at face value<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>To maintain total freedom, the naguals say, doubt and question everything you hear.<\/strong> In other words, practice healthy skepticism. No matter how well you manage your environment, you\u2019ll still live in a shared world. As such, you\u2019ll often see upsetting or manipulative messages\u2014your culture and society, for example, will still attempt to tell you what to believe, how to feel, and who to be. Social media will still blast you with emotional content. If you blindly take these things at face value, the naguals warn, assuming they\u2019re true, valid, and \u201creal,\u201d you risk being dragged back into the mirage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>(Shortform note: The \u201cdoubt\u201d the naguals are promoting is what\u2019s often called \u201chealthy skepticism.\u201d It\u2019s important to note that a skeptic is different from a cynic: While a cynical person leverages doubt to <em>avoid<\/em> adjusting their worldview, doubting evidence that contradicts their beliefs, a skeptic holds off on making adjustments <a href=\"https:\/\/www.psychologytoday.com\/ca\/blog\/the-moment-youth\/201206\/the-art-positive-skepticism\">until they\u2019ve gathered sufficient evidence to determine what\u2019s really true<\/a>.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Instead, the naguals recommend you <strong>use doubt as a tool to detach yourself from your knee-jerk, automatic response to incoming messages.<\/strong> If you don\u2019t immediately accept an upsetting message as fact, its impact is dulled and slowed, and you have time to think about it before it becomes part of your subjective reality. That ability to detach and delay, emotionally and intellectually, allows you to control what you believe, feel, and think, as well as how you behave, regardless of what\u2019s happening around you. It\u2019s how you maintain the freedom of control.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>(Shortform note: Part of doubting what you hear is holding off on deciding whether it\u2019s true or not\u2014or whether you believe or agree with it. In short, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.psychologytoday.com\/ca\/blog\/some-assembly-required\/202006\/how-become-comfortable-uncertainty\">you\u2019ll need to embrace uncertainty, which psychologists argue is a healthy practice<\/a>. Doing so is critical to becoming emotionally stable, and it builds resilience\u2014the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/ability-to-adapt\/\">ability to adapt<\/a> to change. That\u2019s part of what the naguals want for you: To be able to face the uncertainty of your social and personal future with bravery and hope.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Doubt Peoples\u2019 Messages, but Respect Their Perspectives<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>It\u2019s particularly important, the naguals note, to apply this principle to our interactions with other people. <strong>Respect the perspectives of others but doubt the messages they send.<\/strong> Allow others to express their perspective without judging or influencing them\u2014but don\u2019t blindly accept their expressed perspective as truth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>What others say is often a surface-level attempt to convey their true message<\/strong>\u2014if we believe it, we risk accepting a falsehood or an obfuscation of the truth. Look past the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/subjective-words\/\">subjective words<\/a> they\u2019re using to describe their reality and see what they\u2019re really trying to communicate.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>For example, \u201cyou\u2019re lazy\u201d might really mean, \u201cI\u2019m worried about you because you\u2019re staying in bed a lot,\u201d or, \u201cI wish I could be as relaxed as you look,\u201d or, simply, \u201cI don\u2019t like you.\u201d You won\u2019t see the true message unless you doubt the words, and if you\u2019re caught up in the emotional turmoil of reacting to \u201cyou\u2019re lazy,\u201d you won&#8217;t have the bandwidth to see clearly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>(Shortform note: The naguals don\u2019t explain <em>why<\/em> people don\u2019t just say what they mean, but <a href=\"https:\/\/www.psychologytoday.com\/ca\/blog\/understand-other-people\/201607\/say-what-you-mean-mean-what-you-say\">it\u2019s usually because they\u2019re afraid to<\/a>. It\u2019s not always safe, acceptable, or wise to say exactly what we\u2019re thinking or feeling, and it can be difficult to tell when it is and isn\u2019t okay to be straightforward. Further, it\u2019s risky to be open because doing so leaves us vulnerable to judgment and attack. As such, be compassionate: Most people aren\u2019t \u201clying\u201d to be malicious.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-table\"><table><tbody><tr><td><strong>How\u2014and Why\u2014to Respectfully Hear Stories You Doubt<\/strong><br><br>There\u2019s another practical application for the naguals\u2019 \u201cdoubt, but respect\u201d philosophy: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shortform.com\/blog\/how-to-learn-from-others\/\">learning from others<\/a>. To learn from others, you must give them a safe space in which to express themselves\u2014that\u2019s what the naguals mean by \u201crespect.\u201d <a href=\"https:\/\/www.psychreg.org\/respect-other-peoples-opinion\/\">Conflicts and disagreements are opportunities to develop mutual understanding and build common ground<\/a>\u2014they are not wars you need to win.<br><br>You may disagree with the story another person tells\u2014that is, you may doubt their words\u2014but when you respond with hostility, try to shut them down, or tunnel in on \u201cwinning\u201d the \u201cargument,\u201d you\u2019re not respecting their story. <br>Instead, in shutting them out or attacking them, you throw away the opportunity to learn, connect, teach, and even coexist. In short, that kind of behavior won\u2019t lead you toward peace, freedom, or acceptance.<br><br>Instead of reacting strongly when you find a point of disagreement, don\u2019t defend <em>or<\/em> attack; get curious:<br><br>Be willing to explain your perspective, but\u2014more importantly\u2014to hear theirs. Listen to the actual substance\u2014the <em>message<\/em>\u2014not just the headline of what they\u2019re saying.<br><br>Ask them to elaborate: \u201cWhat makes you say that?\u201d \u201cWhat makes you feel that way?\u201d<br><br>Take note of areas where you <em>do<\/em> agree with each other, and remember you\u2019re disagreeing with the <em>perspective<\/em>, not the <em>existence of the person<\/em>.<br><br>Frame your sentences as \u201cI\u201d statements, not \u201cyou\u201d statements: \u201cI\u2019m finding it almost impossible to save money while paying my student loans,\u201d not, \u201cYou boomers ruined the economy, and now I\u2019ll never be able to afford a house!\u201d<br><br>Stay open to the possibility that your perspective is flawed; you may not be right about <em>everything<\/em> you believe, and this might be the person who opens your eyes to something. Give them a chance to show you they\u2019re struggling, too.<br><br>Finally, remember that having the conversation <em>is<\/em> a win. You don\u2019t have to agree\u2014it\u2019s enough if even one of you got to see something you were blind to.<br><br>Like the naguals note, in the end, <em>we<\/em> get to choose what we believe\u2014and so does everyone else. Don\u2019t waste your energy trying to force a belief on someone else, and don\u2019t feel obligated to accept a belief you don\u2019t feel is right for you. Step 5 is about developing the ability to listen without hurting others or being hurt yourself\u2014that\u2019s a strength that will serve you well.<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>Healthy skepticism is a handy tool to use when you want to discern the truth and achieve freedom of control in your life.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Do you practice healthy skepticism? What&#8217;s the difference between skepticism and cynicism? Healthy skepticism is a handy tool to have around if you want to get at the truth. It&#8217;s also a way to achieve freedom of control, according to The Fifth Agreement authors don Miguel Ruiz and don Jose Ruiz. This is your ticket to choosing how you want to live. Read more to learn how to leverage healthy skepticism, and how skepticism is different from cynicism.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9,"featured_media":55385,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[34,9,43],"tags":[539],"class_list":["post-55379","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-communication","category-psychology","category-self-improvement","tag-the-fifth-agreement","","tg-column-two"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.3 (Yoast SEO v24.3) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Healthy Skepticism: How to Use Doubt as a Tool - Shortform Books<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Healthy skepticism is a handy tool to have around. 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